True Blood: Like Looking In A Mirror, If You Could, But You Can't, Because You're A Vampire
I love the trailers that they're showing at the end of every episode now because the critical reaction to this show is so overwhelmingly negative that they're forced to use glowing comments from message board users to hype the show. "THIS SHOW IZ NOT A GAY RETARD" - fangonator_69. I'm not being sarcastic. I love them. The trailers. And the comments. Not the show. The show is horrible.
So Sookie is trying to find the murderer, who all of a sudden has been cast as the central point of dramatic intrigue in this show, except that no one cares about the murderer because he's been a sidenote since the very beginning. Seriously, more time has been spent in Vampire Court and in Jason Stackhouses's CGI Garnier Fructis Sex Commercial than building up interest in the murderer. Which is why they off-handedly show you who the murderer is at the end of the episode rather than waiting for a season finale reveal. Sure. Straight to the point, as usual, this show. It's not like you've ever wasted anyone's time before, True Blood, why start now? (You don't need to be a MIND READER to pick up on the sarcasm! Get it? I'm writing jokes in the style of the show, which is to say obvious and lazy.)
Meanwhile, Bill has become a "maker," and the new vampire under Bill's care is your girlfriend:
For as hard a time as I have given this show, I will grant them this: they've managed to embody the entire vampire phenomenon into Vampire Jessica. She represents the two sides to vampire culture, and it's your reaction to her that will show where you stand. If in watching this scene you find her to be a ridiculous, poorly-drawn child of abuse turned into a clownish ghoul of pubescent rage, then you are an adult, and you have moved beyond simplistic mythological treatments of the anxieties surrounding coming-of-age and human sexuality. On the other hand, if in watching this scene you think "fuck yeah, vampires are siiiiick. I want to fuck and kill people because I'm confused," then you are still working through some stuff, and you can't believe all the guys like Marissa Paulson because she's not even that great and you hope that you get a locker in H-hall this semester because K-hall smells like pee and the lights don't even work it's like a third world country or something 4 real.
Next week: Season finale! "It's to die for!" - Alan_Balls_69.
Posted by Gabe at 11:45 AM in Hate-Watching
Tags: Alan Ball | Anna Paquin | True Blood | Vampires
wow. that girl needs some medication.
Score = 1
Everything you're saying about True Blood sums up how juvenile and half-cooked this whole neo-vampire craze is.
Score = 2
I agree that the message board commercials are so sad they're funny, much like the show. That red headed chick is too old to be acting like a little repressed teenager. I've seen her as an Amish girl on My Name Is Earl and now a Jesus Freak in True Blood and it must be the frustration as always being cast as The Religious, but she seems so uncomfortable, wound up, and loud as a bullhorn no matter what show she's on. She has two modes: crying and panicking and screaming and panicking.
Score = 0
I for one have been willing to look past many of the show's oddities since the beginning, but last night's episode actually had me bored...namely due to that girl Bill "turned," who was, by all accounts, the single most annoying person I've seen on Television in a long while...also, some of those bits with Tara were boring too! Ugh...in any event, I will watch next week...thereby saying I made it the whole way through.
Score = 0
All this is true, but it still remains that everyone I speak to who watches this show actually loves in. In a very serious way. Maybe I need to get off the True Blood message boards...
Score = 0
season, not series finale? GOD DAMNIT.
Score = 1
I love how weird and bad this show is. Its supposed to be like that, its campy and a huge guilty pleasure.
Score = 1
My hope for the finale is that a nuclear explosion takes out the entire town of Bon Temps. The End. Forever.
Score = 2
Where would this bomb be dropped? A town an hour from Shreveport or somewhere in the swamps? This town exists outside our space-time continuum in a land of pecan sadness pies and vampires (with sidekicks). We cannot destroy them. Maybe those kids on Fringe will find some way to dream walk a vial of a self replicating nanite plague fueled by psychic energy into cajun vampire towns, but the collision of two things that awful may lead to an explosion of ugh that may kill us all.
Score = 1
i am so bummed that fine-ass woman was strangled this episode... it's getting a little meh... i think sookie's eyes are too close to her nose.
Score = 0
she appears to be only intermittently southern, in much the same way she is intermittently insane.
Score = 1
I'm confused about the general reaction to True Blood. Is it possible that it's purposely campy and in some way self-conscious about its own ridiculousness (e.g., the BBC Robin Hood)? This show is stupid in many ways, but I still love it. So let the true True Blood audience have its fun--that is, and audience of grad students who are too old/coherent for Twilight, and stream HBO on the internet.
Score = 0
I wonder why all movie plts are the same? I'm sick of watching the same stories but just with different actors, so often it's enough to learn the name of the film director and you will larn the end of the film... vampires are out of date today supose...
Score = 0