Friday Fight: How Can You Be Into He's Just Not That Into You?
Even though Lindsay and Gabe are friends, they very rarely agree on anything. Every day, they have a fight about something. On Fridays, we publish one.
gabe: you're going to see he's just not that into you, aren't you
gabe: unless you already saw it
gabe: last night at midnight
gabe: "faster FANDANGO"
lindsay: Yeah, actually, I'm dragging six people to it tomorrow night
gabe: do you feel any shame?
lindsay: And actually, there WAS one 12:01 screening last night in the NYC metro area
lindsay: at a mall
lindsay: in paramus, NJ
lindsay: No, I feel excitement
gabe: are you going to buy a couple extra copies of
gabe: our bodies ourselves
gabe: in order to make up for it
lindsay: because we're bringing a bunch of those little bottles of wine
gabe: wine?
gabe: no cosmos?
lindsay: well the guy is probably bringing rum to put in his coke
lindsay: there's a guy!
gabe: hahaha "the guy"
lindsay: actually, I'll have you know that TWO guys have verbally rsvpd.
lindsay: we shall see though
gabe: anyway
lindsay: We're going to play a drinking game
lindsay: like, a silent one, because we're not obnoxious movie talkers
gabe: what is it called?
lindsay: (except in the happening)
gabe: Reinforcing the Glass Ceiling?
gabe: somehow i find it more upsetting that you think you're seeing this ironically
lindsay: it's called Drink Every Time Anyone Says Text, Call, or MySpace.
lindsay: No, I'm seeing it because I truly believe it will entertain me
lindsay: And as my friend Jess says, we're "vaginally obligated" to see it.
gabe: well, i guess that makes sense
gabe: since i am penilely obligated to think it looks boring and stupid
lindsay: hahahaa
gabe: men are from mars women are from that looks boring
gabe: you should wait and do a confessions of a shopaholic double feature
gabe: and then you should eat all the chocolates and put your pumps in the bottom drawer of your desk
gabe: ACK!
lindsay: Oh no way
lindsay: that movie looks DUMBBBB
lindsay: HJNTIY will meet my cinematic vaginal obligation for 2009
lindsay: Hey, did you know that they never say 'he's just not that into you" in the movie?
lindsay: that's like, the gimmick
lindsay: another gimmick: everyone is in it
lindsay: you and I are actually in it
gabe: that is the gimmick?
lindsay: as extras
gabe: that is not a gimmick
gabe: or is it going to be like
gabe: constantly almost saying it?
gabe: "he's just not that into --- oh, hold on, i have to take this call."
lindsay: HAHAHA
lindsay: that would be awesome
gabe: your definition of awesome
gabe: is not the same as my definition of awesome
lindsay: he's just not that into you, the phrase, would be like the neighbor on home improvement
gabe: more like
gabe: the hidden penis in Austin Powers movies
lindsay: yeah
lindsay: that too
gabe: because of how hilarious that was
lindsay: oddly I thought of barts penis in the simpsons movie but not that
gabe: it always comes back to bart's penis with you
gabe: i feel like your fixation on cartoon penises might go a long way towards explaining
gabe: your interest in seeing this movie
lindsay: So the point of he's just not that into you
lindsay: seems to be that if a guy doesn't call you right away he doesn't like you
lindsay: So where, I ask
lindsay: does that leave Vince Vaughn's character in Swingers??????
lindsay: can both movies exist at the same time?
lindsay: There's a 3 day rule, everyone knows that
gabe: swingers?
gabe: let me get back into my time machine and double check
gabe: swingers is pre-9/11 lindsay
gabe: the world is changed
gabe: we can't love each other like we did before terrorism
lindsay: Oh, okay. That's all I needed to know.
gabe: i feel like the point of he's just not that into you
gabe: is that there are telltale signs that someone isn't interested
gabe: that women chose to ignore in the pursuit of unrealistic romantic goals
gabe: that are perpetuated by movies like he's just not that into you
gabe: CIRCLE OF LIFE HAKUNA MATATA
lindsay: How about a SPOILER ALERT!
lindsay: There's no point in even seeing it now
gabe: sure there is, don't you want someone to tell you that the way your living your life is inadequate?
lindsay: When you came out of Iron Man did you feel inadequate?
gabe: yes
gabe: of course i did
lindsay: oh
gabe: i can't do fucking anything cool at all
lindsay: I didn't. Pepper Pots has a really shitty job.
gabe: but if you are comparing iron man as the counter-equivalent of he's just not that into you
gabe: i think the male adolescent fantasies of being invincible and having super powers and blowing shit up and fighting everyone
gabe: are still better than the female adolescent fantasies of finding mr. right
lindsay: Sure, me too, because that was never my fantasy either.
lindsay: So we should get some lame girly girl in here to fight that fight
gabe: what was your fantasy? Baby Boom?
lindsay: I wanted to be a writer. done.
gabe: boring
lindsay: well, at least I did mine
gabe: who wants to be a writer?
lindsay: how much shit have you blown up?
gabe: at least i have goals
gabe: to always strive towards
lindsay: I have goals. I want to live in a tree house someday.
gabe: hahahhaha
gabe: take it easy julia butterfly
lindsay: No, like the one Sam Rockwell had in Charlie's Angels that Drew Barrymore fell out of.
lindsay: It ALL COMES BACK TO DREW BARRYMORE
gabe: you should avoid basing any of your life goals on charlie's angels movies
gabe: unless your goal is to be the worst
lindsay: Have you seen that fucking house? It was fucking awesome.
lindsay: Anyway, enough about treehouses.
gabe: well, if you marry someone rich maybe he will buy it for you
gabe: my real problem with HJNTIY is just that it looks so boring
lindsay: And that, my friend
lindsay: Is where the BOTTLES OF WINE come in.
lindsay: Two bottles in, it could be any movie
gabe: where do the half-dozen cats and the crushing loneliness after a lifetime of hoping for something that doesn't exist come in?
lindsay: that's He's Just Not That Into You 2: Still Not.
Posted by Lindsay at 5:45 PM in Friday Fight
Tags: Ben Affleck | Bradley Cooper | Drew Barrymore | Ginnifer Goodwin | He's Just Not That Into You | Justin Long | Kevin Connolly | Scarlett Johansson
"gabe: somehow i find it more upsetting that you think you're seeing this ironically" hahaaHAH
Score = 5
I don't think T in Swingers was into any of the babies who gave him their digits...
Score = 1
"gabe: Reinforcing the Glass Ceiling?"
Score = 4
Best fight ever.
Score = 4
the 'at least i did mine' totally reminded me of that calvin and hobbes where calvin asks hobbes what he would want if he could have anything in the world. the answer was a sandwich, if i remember correctly. at least he got his.
Score = 9
^Hobbes! One of my favourite strips. Yes I just said that.
Score = 1
lindsay: When you came out of Iron Man did you feel inadequate?
gabe: yes
gabe: of course i did
lindsay: oh
Also that power ranger's black sneakers don't look nearly as high tech as the rest of his outfit, but then again I don't know the ways of Cyber Dino Space Ninjas.
Score = 0
The Circle of Life Hakuna Matata thing nearly killed me.
Score = 2
Lindsay, you and I are done, professionally.
Score = 3
I think the sequel should be called "He's Just Not That Into You: Size 2." Zinnnnng!
Score = -4
So does that mean he's not into because you're not a size 2 or because you are? Because either way I'm offended.
Score = 0
I'm going to start having a friday fight with you guys if you don't at least acknowledge Damages... Rawls in drag talking to Lester Freamon in the men's room. TV GOLD!
Score = 0
I was not surprised that He's Not that into You is based on a novel since movies based on novels tend to be better quality and have more coherent plots
Score = -1
I think it's based on a self-help book. You know, one of those self-help books that should have "spoiler alert" before the title, which gives away all the self-help for free. (See also "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and "Stop Eating Sugar, Fatass")
Is this a first? No, a second, after (of course) that Woody Allen movie about the sex book that mysteriously appeared on the family parents' bookcase one day in the late 80s?
Score = 2
I'm gonna come out to you guys and share that I saw this on opening night. I just wanted to make my bf watch it in the theater, because that sort of thing makes me LOL.
It was mostly Scarlett Johannson moping around, wondering why this married guy would not go into her. Other times it was Margene from Big Love just being Margene from Big love, i.e. the lovable nincompoop.
There. If I saved just one person $10 and 2 hours, then it was worth it. Otherwise no.
Score = 2
I try to drag my boyfriend to movies like this just because he probably hates them even more than I do, but it never works.
Score = -1
There's a semi-box wine called The Bandit that makes for excellent movie theatre drinking. 1 liter. No cork. No large clattering bottle on the floor if (when) it's knocked over. No problem.
Score = 0
That's what we brought! Bandit rules.
Score = 0
gabe: swingers is pre-9/11 lindsay
gabe: the world is changed
gabe: we can't love each other like we did before terrorism
lindsay: Oh, okay. That's all I needed to know.
i feel like i've wasted months of my life not realizing i love both of you. thank you. thank you for sharing your fights with the world.
Score = 1