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January 9, 2009

Friday Fight: Who Will The Real World Teach Young People To Tolerate Next?

Even though Lindsay and Gabe are friends, they very rarely agree on anything. Every day, they have a fight about something. On Fridays, we publish one.

lindsay: Remember when the token gay person on The Real World was kind of a big deal
lindsay: but on this show it's like nothing because now there's a transgendered chick?
gabe: it's 2008
gabe: i think mtv figured
gabe: if america is ready for a black president
gabe: the real world is ready for katelynn
gabe: i guess it is a big deal? it doesn't feel like a big deal
gabe: but i think that's just the been-to-college-live-in-brooklyn in me
lindsay: Well, even the awful Iraq guy who called Katelynn "it" was pretty normal and cool with the gay guy but freaked out by Katelynn.
lindsay: I mean, the OUT gay guy
lindsay: not Chet
gabe: hahaha
lindsay: the cute one
gabe: chet
gabe: i want chet to sew me some clothes

gabe: and by sew me some clothes
gabe: i mean be honest with himself
lindsay: hahahaha
lindsay: would you sing in a boat with chet?
gabe: is that a euphemism?
gabe: i find chet so much more interesting than katelynn
gabe: with his homemade purple sleeveless v-neck sweatshirts
gabe: and his use of the term "metrosexual" as a point of pride
gabe: katelynn just identifies as a woman
gabe: snooze
gabe: what does chet identify as?
gabe: he's the real mystery
lindsay: Oh my favorite part of the show
gabe: whoops, sorry, i mean "it's" the real mystery
lindsay: I can't remember who it was
lindsay: but a guy calls his girlfriend
lindsay: and tells her that this season is different
gabe: it was ryan
gabe: obviously it was ryan
lindsay: and you can hear in her voice that she thinks it's just him and 6 girls!
lindsay: yeah
gabe: who else would have a girlfriend?
lindsay: she's like "um, okayyy"
lindsay: and then she's relieved. You can hear their entire relationship disintegrate and come back together in that two seconds.
lindsay: So where can they go from here if they want to push the tolerance envelope?
lindsay: They should have a two year old

gabe: hahahah
lindsay: that everyone hates
lindsay: and that they have to potty train
gabe: i want them to have an amputee
gabe: but only because
gabe: i want the "naive" character
gabe: to ask the amputee
gabe: if that's where they hide the drugs that they deal
lindsay: Hahaha
gabe: remember that old gem from early real world days?
lindsay: I want them to have an amputee FETISHIST
gabe: that's going way back
gabe: right, like the people from crash
lindsay: AND an amputee
lindsay: let them fight it out
lindsay: natural tension
gabe: right, but one of them is in a relationship
gabe: long distance
gabe: also "i want them to have an amputee"
gabe: is probably the worst sentence on earth
lindsay: no
lindsay: "I want them to make an amputee." is
gabe: is it just me, or is there something kind of odd about the real world's insistence that things don't really start getting real until a gay person is involved
gabe: like, there are lots of different kinds of people in the world
gabe: that we are all probably curious to know better and to understand what it's like for them to live in today's world
lindsay: Like they should have a 21 year old guy from Papua New Guinea who has never been out of Papua New Guinea
lindsay: and, like, show him the internet and learn from him and shit
lindsay: show him Wii
lindsay: the whole thing ends with a Wii contest
gabe: no
gabe: what?
gabe: that is crazy
gabe: you sound like a burger king ad executive
gabe: what is this, jungle 2 jungle?
gabe: they should follow the real housewives lead
gabe: and just have a black real world
gabe: with one white dude
gabe: like that chappelle show sketch
lindsay: with Christian Finnegan as Chad

lindsay: crying and masturbating
gabe: they should have one celebrity
gabe: in a house of drunk college kids
gabe: that would be incredible
gabe: they should have one celebrity
gabe: and one two year old
gabe: in a house full of black kids
gabe: the end
lindsay: They should have a robot
lindsay: A racist robot.
lindsay: the end.

Posted by Lindsay at 6:00 PM in ,
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11 Comments

Johnny

i look kind of like christian finnegan.


it sucks.

Posted by: Johnny profile link at 01/09/09 8:50 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
jacob666

that baby sure could jive.

Posted by: jacob666 profile link at 01/09/09 10:46 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Mandy

wow that baby certainly is something.

Posted by: Mandy profile link at 01/10/09 10:39 AM | Reply
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That baby will never shut up long enough to learn real words. It's sad when you think about it.

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid at 01/10/09 11:37 AM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

that was not a fight

Posted by: nicole profile link at 01/10/09 12:57 PM | Reply
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I like it when they agree. Sometimes I worry about their relationship - you know, for the sake of the kids.

Posted by: Ashley in reply to nicole's comment at 01/10/09 2:13 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Science, can we please get to work on a racist robot? Can it be the next space race?

Posted by: Evan Stewart at 01/10/09 5:13 PM | Reply
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There is something deliciously obscene about a show that takes a group of disgusting little snivel-shits that nobody could possibly like...provides them a real cool place to live in a location where the whole lot together couldn't afford to live even if they all had real jobs...and call it the "Real World".
I do like Gabe's idea that they "make an amputee'...that might actually make the show worth watching.

Posted by: Josh Rosen at 01/11/09 10:46 AM | Reply
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its 2009.

Posted by: seth at 01/11/09 11:14 PM | Reply
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Mandy

everyone knows you get a month to say '2008' instead if '2009'

Posted by: Mandy profile link in reply to seth's comment at 01/12/09 12:52 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

a lot of parents i've met that have taught their baby to use sign language worry that it delays the baby's use of actual verbal words. just sayin. these parents totally took the wrong approach because i'd rather my baby never ever talk (but still be able to communicate something meaningful) than sound like that thing.

Posted by: scoopalicious profile link at 01/12/09 10:28 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

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