Friday Fight: Who Is Worse For The Country Than Sarah Palin?
Even though Lindsay and Gabe are friends, they very rarely agree on anything. Every day, they have a fight about something. On Fridays, we publish one.
gabe: who is worse for the country
gabe: sarah palin or serena van der woodsen?
lindsay: Well definitely Palin.
gabe: no, i mean as president
gabe: just kidding
gabe: a serena van der woodsen presidency
gabe: though
gabe: would be something special
gabe: i mean, the world would end
gabe: but it would be so boring and cloying first!
lindsay: Blair is like her Cheney
gabe: serena van der woodsen is the worst
gabe: i think you're probably right that sarah palin is worse for the country
lindsay: I love that the fictional character you think is the worst has this really complicated name that you know how to spell by heart.
gabe: but i think that little girls looking up to sarah palin is better than little girls looking up to serena van der woodsen
gabe: i'm sorry, did i just BLOW YOUR MIND
lindsay: Well, that is probably true
lindsay: She has clearly passed on valuable in-a-pinch baby hair styling skills to her offspring.
lindsay: And she can protect them from wolves
gabe: as long as they're all in a plane together
gabe: chasing the wolf
gabe: they'll be safe
gabe: from that wolf
lindsay: why just wolves?
lindsay: why are they singled out?
lindsay: there should be a rule that you can do that, but you have to use a bow and arrow from the plane
gabe: or there should be a rule that you can't do that
gabe: that would also be a worthwhile rule
lindsay: I will say that when I first heard of it
lindsay: I thought that it sounded really fun
lindsay: I mean, with a robot instead of a wolf maybe?
lindsay: The zombie of one of the wolves killed by Sarah Palin in the past would be a better president.
gabe: well that is not true
gabe: maybe a better vice president
lindsay: Amy Poehler's character in Baby Mama.
lindsay: (which why isn't there a mashup yet with Palin as Tina Fey called Baby Gramma?)
gabe: who is worse for the country, sarah palin or kathy lee gifford?
lindsay: Actually I'm starting to like Kathie Lee Gifford but I've been afraid to tell you because I know you'll be mad.
lindsay: So Palin
gabe: i think they're dead even
gabe: i think they both are working hard to crush people beneath their feet to fill some kind of vaccuum in their terrible hearts
lindsay: You know who would have been a better than Palin?
lindsay: Cathy Geiss, Don Geiss's daughter on 30 Rock
lindsay: That's basically who she is anyway.
gabe: i don't think that a second tier side character from a sitcom should be the vice president of the united states
gabe: i know that's a controversial position
gabe: but i'm going on the record as having it
lindsay: until last week she was more famous!
gabe: again, that is not true
gabe: your belief in the popular embrace of second-tier 30 Rock side characters is way out of proportion with reality
lindsay: Maybe if mccain palin win, and something happens to mccain, and then something happens to palin, Tina Fey can be president like in the movie Dave!
lindsay: We've never been closer to the dream of Tina Fey for president!
gabe: i think you need to watch Dave again
gabe: and by watch Dave again
gabe: i mean read a book on how government works
lindsay: It works like the movie Dave.
lindsay: is it worse for the country
lindsay: or would be a worse president
lindsay: I guess I should have been clear on that by now
gabe: worse for the country
gabe: also you know she's not running for president, right?
lindsay: hahahahahahahaha
lindsay: yes
lindsay: ok, Sarah Palin or Russell Brand?
gabe: i don't think that russell brand
gabe: has explained himself to America
gabe: he's still an unknown
lindsay: He's explained himself enough to me.
gabe: ?
gabe: that's not a position
lindsay: TWSS
gabe: he's explained himself enough to you for what?
lindsay: For me to not like him!
gabe: so you want to vote for sarah palin
gabe: that's what you're saying
gabe: you love sarah palin
lindsay: I am very curious about the moment when she takes off her glasses, lets down her hair, shakes it out and everyone gasps and says "Why, Ms-Ms Palin! You're beautiful!"
lindsay: All she needs is Anna Faris's character from The House Bunny
lindsay: Not that a bunch of nerds aren't already hate jerking off about her already.
lindsay: Sarah Palin or Al Roker
lindsay: Would you rather Sarah Palin be VP or have to spend a day of fun in the park with a frisbee with Al?
gabe: i would rather spend a day in the park with Al Roker than have Sarah Palin be vice president
gabe: al roker is too mediocre to do any serious damage to the american way of life
gabe: he lacks the strength of conviction to do anything other than make awkward jokes and miss the point
gabe: all the time
gabe: always missing the point, that one
lindsay: He just wants to be loved and accepted.
lindsay: He's just a little boy who wants love.
lindsay: And instead you're mean to him
gabe: al roker is the reason george bush has been president for 8 years
gabe: it's that same "aw shucks, at least he's trying" attitude towards people in position of power and influence that is destroying this country
lindsay: I would hardly call George Bush a person in a position of power and influence!
lindsay: (see what I did there?)
gabe: that's stupid, don't say stupid things
gabe: say smart things
gabe: you're a smart lady
lindsay: I started to say al roker
lindsay: anyway
lindsay: nevermind
lindsay: you don't understand my subversive comedy
gabe: OK
gabe: i'm sorry i don't get your comedy
gabe: all joking aside, sarah palin is the worst
lindsay: Well, what about the speech-slurring skelator in the room?
lindsay: Cindy McCain?
lindsay: She would be so much worse
gabe: well
gabe: i mean, joe francis would make a terrible president, too
gabe: but cindy mccain's not actually running for anything
gabe: other than grim reaper
gabe: her campaign for grim reaper is going strong
gabe: she's 17 points ahead of harry dean stanton
lindsay: If palin is VP, mccain should stay really far away from the grim reaper
lindsay: Joe Francis is the One
lindsay: he's the One Who Is Worse
gabe: i think cindy mccain prefers to reap the souls of orphans and wastrels
gabe: joe francis and sarah palin in 2012
gabe: putting the nightmare back in washinightmaregton
Posted by Lindsay at 5:37 PM in Friday Fight, Politics
Tags: Al Roker | Joe Francis | John McCain | Kathie Lee | Sarah Palin
I have no problem with Russel Brand. There I said it.
This might change Sunday night.
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best friday night fight ever.
"gabe: i think they both are working hard to crush people beneath their feet to fill some kind of vaccuum in their terrible hearts"
Score = -1
Gabe wins for "17 points ahead of harry dean stanton".
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hey guys! when your brain fights will come to an end? will you someday say to each other "hey,you, it seems to me i loveyou"?)
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