You Guys, We Should Buy More Chicken. And Dokken. Or Something.
Oh, I get it. OK, so, imagine that your computer is a chicken. And that Dokken is a computer virus. Now imagine that the desk where you keep your chicken is the wing of an airplane. And imagine that the chair that you normally sit on to do work on the chicken is a narwhal. And your head is a pumpkinhead. OK, now, you put your glasses (in this case, tank treads) on your pumpkinhead and sit on your narwhal as your chicken boots up. You load your Internet browser (in this case, a Garfield day-to-day calendar) to look at a website about politics (in this case, a website about gumdrops) to see what is happening with Barack Obama (Santa Claus) in his quest to reform healthcare (barbecue). Just then there is a knock at the door (swimming pool in the shape of a dollar sign). You open it and who do you see standing on the other side of the swimming pool in the shape of a dollar sign but your old college friend, Brian (windshield wiper fluid). He asks if you want to go out and grab a beer (leather jacket). You tell the windshield wiper fluid to hold on a second, turn away from the swimming pool in the shape of a dollar sign, and head back to the airplane wing. You grab your jacket (kayak) off the back of the narwhal and close out the Garfield page-a-day-calendar. You press a button on the keyboard (safety net for gymnasts) to shut down your chicken, but first a pop up window asks if you would like to allow Dokken to infect your chicken. You put your hand on the mouse (leather knife-sharpening strop) to click "do not allow" ("Chinese Olympic Ping Pong Team of 1988"), but just then you wake up and it had all just been a dream. Buy more organ juice!
Posted by Gabe at 4:30 PM in Free Advertising
Tags: Chicken | Computers | Dokken
You just saved me the $40 I was about to spend on mushrooms.
Score = 19
I knew some ladies back in the eighties who actually were infected by Dokken, right after they appeared on the Nightmare On Elm Street--Dream Warriors soundtrack.
Score = 10
That was the greatest work of puppetry I have ever seen.
Score = 4
I gotta quote Patton Oswalt on this one: "A vest with no shirt? GAAAAYYYY! "
Score = 6
Why don't we just show Dokken the WWF poster and make them think that killing any wildlife is worse than 9/11? Than we can keep our beloved chicken and the world is once again free from bad eighties bands wanting to attack our poultry. Phew.
Score = 2
These irreverent commercials will never win bc
a) you don't think it's funny
b) you think it's funny but you get uptight bc you realize your sense of humor isn't a precious snowflake and you're really no better than anybody else
Score = -9
Say what you want, but anthropomorphized poultry = all the laffs in my book
Score = 9
No argument there, I'M JUST SAYING that some 900 kids who watch Adult Swim and figured that they were the only counter-culture-heads on the planet who'd have ever thunk to reference Dokken and knife fight a raw chicken with incredible puppetry(absolutely, Bubba) will NOT be able to fathom that their humor is now shilling an anti-virus computer program without rejecting it as "so lame" as to move on towards something more precious and under appreciated to keep their "edge".
This entire argument sounded better when I was yelling it at my computer alone in my bedroom.
Score = 0
This is exactly what I got out of the Major Lazer video.
Score = 5
This was the the chicken that Gwynnie roasted. She wanted to make a little quip about it on the goop vid, but her assistant suggested that it would make good bonus material instead. She was lots of loving all over that silly day.
Score = 2
i tried to watch it again and try to click allow. i'm leotarded.
Score = 1
I Lots of (Savage) Loved.
Score = 0
Who knew chicken was in such a slump that it had to resort to a bizarre commercial. With Dokken.
Score = 3
Next up: KFC's Double Down vs. Dio.
Score = 5
Me loves some chicken. Dokken? Not so much.
Score = 0