T-Mobile Is For Assholes
I saw this ad on TV the other night. That's right, TV! (Everybody loves a show off.)
Yuck! For one thing, Catherine Zeta-Jones hasn't been a sexpot for a minute now. What, T-Mobile is trying to capitalize on that No Reservations heat? For as much as I know about what she's up to, this might be an actual T-Mobile house call. Don't get me wrong, we should all be so lucky to look like Catherine Zeta-Jones at her age, and cougars are super in these days. They're the new sexting. But you need some background story in that case. If this guy was like "I know you haven't really been in any movies in awhile now, and you're getting older, as we all do, but you obviously take great care of yourself, and I'm no spring chicken either, and besides, I'm still harboring some erotic fantasies from 1999's Entrapment involving you and a laser-grid security system that safeguards my dick, let's see if you can beat the system, and all that put together makes this a very arousing moment for me," then I would be like, "OK, I can see that." But you can just drop Catherine Zeta-Jones into my lap and be like "boom, you get it." I don't get it. You know who gets it? Michael Douglas. And that's gross.
But also what kind of brand image is this supposed to be building? "T-Mobile: your ugly husband disrespects you to your face." Wait a second, you're telling me that you have subpar cellular service, your favorite phone is a Sidekick, and you think that somehow a dopey philandering husband is appealing to me? GET OUT OF MY HEAD AND ALSO HEART, T-MOBILE, IT'S LIKE WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS. Ridiculous.
Posted by Gabe at 2:30 PM in Free Advertising
Tags: Catherine Zeta-Jones | T-Mobile
ddat wemon is HOTTTTTT!!! so finne. like hally barry.
Score = 5
the worst one is with the little kid who tries to seduce her even though that's statutory rape. that one gives me nightmares. and real calm she's just like "please call your parents billy." not cool.
Score = 12
"Comments (1) latest by Da Cake Eatur"
There's no sentence on the InterWeb that ever makes me more excited than that.
Score = 32
Try not to mess up your pants.
Score = 12
I'm on the computer, why would I be wearing pants?
Score = 60
Well played. Try not to mess up the Bugs Bunny suit though.
Score = 7
they don't need a mobile makeover, they need a personality makeover.
Score = 1
While you tend to be pretty 3008 on the latest pop culture offenses, it pains me to say you're pretty two thousand and late to this one.
Score = 3
Well, you're the one quoting Black Eyed Peas, so I think I still win!
Score = 50
"...ya burnt."
Score = 20
...and you seem to pick up on a Black Eyed Peas reference (I'm taking your word on it,) so maybe you guys both lose? (Gabe, that hurt me to write, but sometimes love is tough.)
Score = 28
"Sometimes love is tough." Who are you? Mark Wahlberg as Jack Salmon in Lovely Bones?
Score = 14
nope. I picked that one up on Goop.
Score = 16
You made a Goop reference. Now, we all lose.
Score = 9
This is officially the most in-jokey site on the internet.
Thought y'all might want to know.
Score = 2
I like your recent blog post addressed to the person in the bathroom stall next to you. "What’d you eat last night, Taco Bell, TGI Fridays? Yeah, you’re a Bloomin’ Onion kind of guy."
Nice.
Score = -2
1,000 Whenever Mintues and Unlimited Nights and Weekends for just $39.99?!?! Well fuck me in the i-Phone.
Score = 7
"erotic fantasies from 1999's Entrapment involving you and a laser-grid security system that safeguards my dick"
Woah. Trekkies that fantasize about railing Uhura on the brig of the Enterprise just took a step back and said, "Chill Gabe, it's a movie... nerd."
Score = 18
Speaking of ads that go yuck in the night, am I the only one who's seen this awful Red Bull ad in which a mother takes her ten year old son to a strip club:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaEbjg9Miig
As if you weren't gross enough already, Red Bull.
Score = 5
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a problem with this.
Score = 2
This ad is just viral marketing for the upcoming "I hope they serve not funny in the T-Mobile commercial".
Score = 7
Come on though, we all know that husband + advertising = fucking moron, right?
Score = 8
I don't know which I love you more for, your avatar or your Target Women reference.
Score = 5
I love that episode!
Score = 0
ads displaying any kind of marriage are moving me closer and closer to a certain lifetime of cats.
Score = 4
Check out the incest happening in this new Olive Garden commercial.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLpuJ6U9oOk
Your welcome for the nightmare fuel.
Score = 0
Play this game while you watch television commercials: Each time one finishes, ask yourself "Was the main character in that commercial an asshole?" It will make you sad, I swear to God.
Score = 4
i do that with comments, so... i just felt sad.
Score = 5
My only comfort is that this guy is Future Tucker Max, once all the Jägerbombs soak into his brain.
Score = 4
who else could t-mobile send on house calls? jon and kate? kathy griffin? the real housewives? new party game!
Score = 0
I'm gonna make a terrible, terrible joke: High Infidelity. See? I told you it was terrible.
Score = 1
I'm sorry, is Gabe's head some alternate universe in which Catherine Zeta-Jones is not attractive? Because, if so, I'm going to have to rethink my evil desire to take over his mind with my Pod-people skills.
Score = 4
while i was reading this the commercial came on tv. SOMEONE MAKE THE ELECTRONICS STOP TAG TEAMING ME!
Score = 0
They did have Jamie Lee Curtis before. Still a significant upgrade. Just sayin'.
Score = 0