Tiny iPhone Steering Wheel Is Tiny Reminder Of Why Nerds Are Lonely
Nerds, cut it out! I know that you figure that life has been hard enough, what with the always being picked last and shoved into lockers and stuff and that you deserve to be free to find your fun wherever you can. And I'm not saying any of that is even remotely fair, we all deserve to live our lives without the constant threat of abuse (both physical and psychological) from people we haven't harmed in any way. And we all deserve to take whatever joy in life we can find. But you also have to take some responsibility at this point. You've created a steering wheel to play a $0.99 videogame on your telephone. It has a suction cup to make sure that there is no "unnecessary motion." You know where else there isn't any unnecessary motion? In your bedroom.
I am sorry, that was lazy. You know what else is lazy? Buying a fucking plastic steering wheel with a suction cup on the bottom to play driving games on your telephone. I don't care if you do get an employee discount at Game Stop. Nerds, I know it might not seem this way sometimes, but I am actually on your side. Help me help you. You should play that game on your phone where you enter secret codes and it puts you in contact with a girl. And then you should experience the thrill of being behind the wheel of a real vehicle in your mom's car. Whatever gets you out of that fucking basement. I don't care if it's finished and has a mini-fridge! Clean the fudge off your face! Get up! (Via Kotaku.)
Posted by Gabe at 5:45 PM in Free Advertising, Video Games
Tags: Advice | iPhone | iPods | Nerds
Get a car.
Score = 5
LOL even i gots one a dem!!
Score = 28
This is about as unnecessary as playing video games on your cell phone.
Score = 20
it's a good thing you've got this soapbox on the internet so they will at least all see your words or help and wisdom before they e-buy their gadget on paypal.
Score = 2
I attended a 25th anniversary screening of Purple Rain last night, and the print included an original trailer for Revenge of the Nerds. Keep pushing them, and they'll push right back. Their time will come again.
Score = 24
Also, it's time for the odd to get even.
Score = 14
I know several nerds (namedropper!), and I know exactly zero of them what would kneel in front of a TJMaxx breakfast nook stool to play their iPhone games.
Score = 3
Whoops, I commeneted before the whole video was done (patient!). I almost missed how great his shrinking abilities are. Bye nerd!
Score = 0
You know where there was "unnecessary motion"? In their pants when they found out about this wizard device!
Score = 14
If this motherfucker can't get any more excited while telling me about it, why would I want to buy it?
R.I.P. Billy Mays
Score = 5
wish i had an iphone so i could get this, i've been looking for a new reason to hate myself.
Score = 10
If he wasn't doing five to 10 that kid from Quebec would melt the lil' steering wheel factory down with his laser eyes.
Score = 7
At least they landed a gorgeous woman as a spokesperson. Oh, wait...
Score = 11
For what it's worth, he does have a nice rack.
Score = 0
Next up for the nerds: an elaborate system of harnesses to make sure your Wii Tennis stroke is perfect every time. You'll have a pro rating in no time!
Score = 5
Other accessories from CTA Digital include "Sword Combat Kit for Wii," "Skateboard Deck Mount for Wii Fit" and "Blast Saber Combo for Wii." No joke, I just checked.
Score = 4
Coming soon:
Score = 44
sad thing is that this kinda does exist.
Score = 6
Full disclosure, no homo, that's your boyfriend: I'm totally gonna get me one of those. Don't care what you think (kinda care what you think). It's on my ThinkGeek wishlist next to the drumkit t-shirts with actual drum sounds. Now you have seen the real me.
Score = -1
That guy is a terrible driver. Way to show off that steering wheel!
Score = 0
Pirates like to use this device so that they can say, "my iPhone in my pocket is driving me nuts!"
PUKE!
Score = 5
So nobody is his girlfriend? That's a new one.
Score = 4
'You know where else there isn't any unnecessary motion? In your bedroom.' ZING! Did you make that one up when you were a lad being shoved into your locker? I'll bet you thought, 'some day, other people will appreciate that gem of a zing.' Well you can relax, Nerd! cus your day has come. Your day has come. Up top.
Score = 3
I love that Gabe said telephone, the entire word. Not cell, cell phone, ipone, phone or mobile. Just telephone.
Score = 9
I guess this proves that there's a market for iPhone owners who don't expect anyone to call them.
Score = 15
At first I thought he was wearing a wedding ring, then I realized he probably role plays as a hobbit on the weekends. My precious!
Score = 8
Where would you even use this? Suction cup it to the bathroom tile while your taking a shit?
Score = 0
let's award a PhD in Basement Studies* once and for all.
*I am copy writing "Basement Studies". speak to my lawyer.
Score = 2
About a year ago, a company moved into a vacant warehouse building in the industrial park where I work. There was a sign for CTA Digital and I would see a handful of orthodox jews in the parking lot when I would leave for lunch. I figured it was some low-budge electronics or accessories. I guess I was right.
I'm gonna walk over there today and pick on someone.
Score = 2
maybe it can "steer" you to a better life? hahaha.
Score = 0