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January 5, 2009

These Guys Could Sell Water To A Drowning Man If He Was Deaf, And Rich, And Stupid

(via Things They Should Invent)

Don Draper is an old man and needs to get out of the game.

Obviously, I recognize that this is fake rap, and I want there to be no confusion: the dedicated campaign to eradicate fake rap continues APACE in '09. But the thing that makes fake rap so abysmal is the tendency among fake rappers to assume that all you have to do to rap is make silly rhymes and move your hands around. It's insulting and probably a little bit racist ("that music what's just people talking"), and that is why it has to go. But that's not what's happening here. Sure, they're making silly rhymes, and some of them even move their hands around (Gary Ballard!) but this is something different. No one here is under the impression that they're actually rapping. I'm pretty sure three-quarters of the people in this video don't even understand the words they're saying. And I'm absolutely positive that four-quarters of them are your boyfriend.

Posted by Gabe at 4:00 PM in
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10 Comments

The Life of the Mind

Tough economic times make people do crazy things. Like combine rap, cheerleading, white sweaters, and discount groceries.

What a turbulent age we live in.

Posted by: The Life of the Mind profile link at 01/05/09 4:13 PM | Reply
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Scott

This video wins the award for most words that almost rhyme with shuffle.

Posted by: Scott profile link at 01/05/09 4:16 PM | Reply
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Animal Collective ftw!

Posted by: Kate in reply to Scott's comment at 01/05/09 6:41 PM | Reply
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Becca

these people are like animated corpses... and the world *animated* is being applied very liberally....

because these people are just barely moving.

Posted by: Becca profile link at 01/05/09 4:26 PM | Reply
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"We're all enthused"? Nope...

COME ON old white guys, listen to the beat!

Posted by: y at 01/05/09 4:41 PM | Reply
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this video....which was made circa '86......is going to set white people of today back about 60 years. Thanks SFB!!!!!

Posted by: Crentist at 01/05/09 4:47 PM | Reply
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well, what's notable is that this is a rip-off of another fake rap, the superbowl shuffle. so perhaps it's somewhat tolerable because it's a fake rap that takes on fake rap? like an enigma wrapped in a puzzle of stupid?

Posted by: bree at 01/05/09 4:53 PM | Reply
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jacob666

Wayne is my favorite!!!!!!

Posted by: jacob666 profile link at 01/05/09 10:27 PM | Reply
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The first, um, rapper was clearly the winner of the Super Broker Shuffle. He must be the "cool guy" in the office. But the other dudes were the true winners. I want to be their grandkids.

Posted by: karl at 01/06/09 1:56 PM | Reply
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woah! sufjan stevens! 1:01...so that's what he's been up to...

Posted by: Caleb at 01/08/09 9:36 PM | Reply
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