Nice Try, Denny's: Salvation, Everyone Knows Your Food Is Shit
Denny's new commercial (via TVSquad) is getting in on that feel good robotic nuclear apocalypse trend. When you go to business school one of the first things they teach you is "ABAYPWTCDOH*." Black market coffee served in the skulls of the dead is for closers. Look it up.
Hey, I've been to Denny's, OK? Lots of times. I'm not some king over here sitting on my velvet thrown of solid pleasure. But I don't think any of us are confused about the quality of Denny's cuisine. We can relax with the whole "artisanal health food" thing. Maybe they don't have actual robots in the kitchen preparing your heart attack, but they definitely have actual halfway house residents. (Not that I'm knocking halfway house residents. We all have to work so we can put cartons of cigarettes on our family.) If my high school experience taught me anything, it's that what Denny's lacks in being able to make food that is not garbage, they totally make up for in making a dingily lit room full of cigarette smoke for kids to hang out in wearing Violent J face paint after the ICP concert.
Make an ad about that.
*Always Be Aligning Your Product With The Complete Destruction Of Humankind.
Posted by Gabe at 4:30 PM in Free Advertising
Tags: Denny's | Terminator: Salvation
Wait, wait, wait, hold up...you're telling me that this ISN'T the promo for the new Terminator movie? That WASN'T Christian Bale's voice?
Shit...
Score = 5
seriously, though, you and me, we're f***ing done professionally.
Score = 8
ha. you're right. I stopped going to Denny's because of the Juggalos too. I made the mistake of being there the night the SIXTH joker card was released. barely made it out alive.
Score = 1
The tragedy of my life is that I will never be able to smoke in a Denny's.
Unless I go to the South, I guess.
In conclusion; I will never be able to smoke in a Denny's.
Score = 8
Have you seen Denny's Allnighter menu? http://www.dennysallnighter.com/index.php/site/allnightermenu/
Taking Back Bacon Burger Fries designed by Taking Back Sunday FTW
Score = 0
Throwing a lot of velvet these days, Gabe? Try throne next time.
Score = 5
Fuck off! Gabe has a homonym disability.
Score = 3
Some how I am rooting for the robo burger vendors. I am sure their employee's won't video themselves bathing in the sinks or farting on food. Yeah there will be a chance of the robots malfunctioning and taking off a limb or two from some customers , but it beats booger burgers anyday.
Score = 3
Was that thrown/throne mix-up a veiled shout-out to Mary Rambin?
Score = 0
I miss Nannerpuss.
Score = 3
ugh, too many cut scenes hurt my head.
There is a Denny's on the AZ-Utah border that serves alcohol! I want to go to there. . .
Score = 2
does this sort of advertising work? They seem pretty serious about it.
SERIOUSLY GUYS GET A GRAND SLAM OR WE'RE DOOMED
Score = 1
made by real cooks...with real records and real prison tats they got for stabbing a real person with a real shiv
Score = 4
What's an "ICP" ? I got ABAYPWTCDOH on first guess*
*not at all.
Score = 0
gabe's google search history this morning:
"insane clown posse members"
"scalp pain"
Score = 4