Mentos, The FAILmaker
Mentos used to be the candy of success. Let's say, for example, that you wanted to get into a music concert but the bouncer wouldn't let you. EASY. Just eat a Mentos, and now you're crawling through the back of a limo to get across the traffic-blocked street, a businessman is like "whoa!," and the bouncer is like "I like your fake moustache style. VIP section, sir." The next thing you know, you're IN the band and it's just bottles and models for the rest of your life because of candy. This was a real thing that happened all of the time, and all it took was a roll of colorful candies that seemed like they were purchased by a friend at a Swedish airport or some European airport when they forgot to get you a present on their vacation and thought weird candy would be enough of a present, but in fact they were from your local Candy Shoppe.
Those days are gone now. Based on their newest advertising, Mentos is the candy of failure.
You are the champion of Deliverance beat boxing, little piggy. (Incidentally, you're not even the stranded Deliverance traveler looking for directions. You're the native Deliverance creep on the Deliverance "you are about to get raped" swing.) Yuck, and what is that packaging? Mentos is Axe Bodygum from the future of 2002.
They literally do not make them like they used to. (Via AdFreak.)
Posted by Gabe at 2:00 PM in Free Advertising
Tags: Candy | Food | Gum | Mentos | Nostalgia | Yuck
WHAT THE fuck HAPPENED Mentos? I remember in GOOD OL Merica, all you needed WAS SOME CAN-DO attitude, SOME MENTOS, some WHITE SKIN, SOME BOOT STRAPS, and some fuckin MENTOS and then the WORLD WAS YOURS.
I mean, SOME CAN argue that things have improved, BUT I'LL BE DAMNED if someone argues that MENTOS have improved.
Score = 40
Mentos have improved.
Score = 18
I HAVE BEEN DAMNED!!!
Score = 62
Mentos 'Beat it' goes out to you, MJ. He died for those that didn't know.
Score = 10
On the other hand, based on this and the vintage commercial where eating them allowed four people to deadlift a car, Mentos both now and them simulates the side-effects of PCP.
Score = 17
"Wow, the way your lips were billowing because of gum -- I WANT YOU INSIDE ME!"
Score = 39
I do not want to see the motorboating sequel.
Score = 7
What's the problem with the packaging? You can put your driver's license in it.
Score = 13
This could have merited a "That's your boyfriend" tag so easily...sigh...my boyfriend has scary primate lips and beat box wars with a traveling hipster while sitting on a porch swing. I guess we don't have to overdo it, though--there are so many boyfriends on this great Earth of ours.
Score = 22
Mentos used to be problem-solving brain food (my dress ripped oh no! Oh wait! Mentos suggest I just wear the dress shoter! Genius!). Apparently now it gives you terrible rubber-mouth super powers?
Score = 6
I'm pretty sure this is just Mentos gum. Your personality/strength altering candies that can turn a grey day all sunshiny bright bright still exist. Relax Eurotron.
Score = 3
RELAX, technojeremy*
Score = 5
No way I'd makeout with a guy who looked and sounded like that.
Score = 2
The only fresh that this freshmaker makes anymore is a gigantic fresh turd of a commercial
Score = 0
I'm going back to the hot dog pepper video right now to get this shit out ma head.
Score = 7
I genuinely lol'd at this thing.
This my friends is a mirror where we see our entire society FAILING.
(Excuses to AAP for borrowing his unique sense of typing)
Score = 1
Is anyone going to say anything about how confusing and strange this post was???
Score = -1
Well, the scientific properties only work in a small disc shape. The gum form is devoid of life-changing properties.
Do you remember the soccer mentos triumph. Maybe the best one... A wedding party didn't want kids playing soccer in the middle of their ceremony...
UNTIL THEY POPPED SOME MENTOS!!!
Score = 0
HELL yes I do!
Score = 1
I'm not embarrassed when I say I loved this. They really visually nailed everything that Deliverance scene. The spacial continuity, even the framing of most of the shots, exactly like Deliverance. Attention to detail, folks...
(pause for introspective moment in which I realize that I am a nerd)
Score = 3
Beatboxing is the worst
Score = 4
So that's where Pete Doherty's been.
Score = 4
Come on people we all know that here in the future we eat twix. What it may lack in its ability to stimulate us mentally it makes up for with its ability to freeze time while being eaten.
Score = 5
Sorely lacking someone in a new business suit accidentally sitting on a recently painted bench.
Score = 6
Yeah. New things are stupid. Nothing is ever going to be better than the shit I liked when I was a dumb fucking kid.
Score = -3
This is too much like a real life incident I lived through. Two gypsy girls (we have actual Gypsies in CZ) get on the bus and start beat boxing. Then another one gets on the other end of the bus. And Beat Box Roma War breaks out. Ugh. . . It was kinda funny to see the grandmas get pissed about the noise though. Lot's of baffled old folks.
Score = 1
that nice lady sure likes acapella drum n bass.
Score = 1
But, most crucially, what happens when you drop one into a bottle of soda? The Discovery Channel must know!
Score = 2
I said squeal like a wikka-wikka!
Score = 4
I think you should change your name to Gaybe. Because you're gay.
Score = -4
I wonder how long you've been holding on to that zinger, waiting for the right time to strike.
Score = 5
Hm, was I the only one who's eyes immediately went to porch-screen-dude's bulge right before he had mentos? I think the chick got in the way. Clearly those boys were about to fresh maker each other.
Score = 0