Gillette Tries To Corner The Douchebag Market
Gross, Gillette. It's one thing when Kyan Douglas encourages guys to do a little "manscaping," because it's 2002 and America is just getting over SEPTEMBER 11TH by taking better care of ourselves, but you guys aren't talking about gentle trimming or pubic hygiene. This is just straight up shaved balls. You can make as family friendly of a cartoon as you want, and that is still what it will be. I'm surprised this ad wasn't a partnership with Ed Hardy wine. "Make your next guy's night out a hairless balls night out. Brought to you by Gillette and Ed Hardy Wine, because that is our thing now."
These guys know what I'm talking about:
Schick 4 life. (AdFreak via Gawker.)
Posted by Gabe at 6:00 PM in Free Advertising
Tags: Douchebags | Ed Hardy Wine | Gillette | Penises
If I wasn't happily married, that middle picture would make me cry. I'd want to laugh, but then I'd realize that those idiots probably get laid all the time.
I'm not saying women are stupid, I'm just saying the women who would fuck those guys are.
Score = 35
Pretty sure that the kind of chicks who fuck dudes who look like that aren't much less ridiculous looking themselves. Once again, the paradox of the "hot chicks with douchebags" phenomenon. The chicks are douches too.
Score = 25
Is getting laid all the time* worth being those guys? If those two things weren't mutually exclusive, I'd seriously look into monastic living.
*That's assuming the supposedly huge amount of sex they might be having with many partners isn't gross and risky.
Score = 10
The last photograph is terrifying. A human being should not look like that. Ever.
Also, I shave my balls occasionally, and yet do not have a $300/week hair gel budget, a gym membership, or a jar of diarrhea that I rub on my face to appear tan.
Score = 39
this guy literally looks like a golem - as in shaped from earthen clay by rabbinical elders.
yuck.
Score = 15
Mental note for the next videogum meet up: That One is the guy who shaves his balls.
Score = 8
I guess you and I are opposites then because I just let me shit grow. 42 years of unbridled hell fuck yeah growth and going strong!
Score = 0
The defined tan line on the last one's hair line will make me feel better about myself for an eternity. Thank you douchebags, for reminding me I actually am not the worst person in the world.
Score = 21
this has been exceptionally uncouth.
these guys look like they all have lots of fun @ Gilette sponsored dinners.
Score = 10
That guy does not know what you're talking about, as he died in a car accident.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=212307178
Whoops!
Score = 30
Classy.
Score = 4
So now instead of sepia toned montages, we'll have to suffer through memorial GIFs? The future just keeps fucking up, doesn't it?
Score = 3
My jaw was fully dropped after watching the video, which made the passage of vomit out and down my front much easier once I clicked into the post and associated those photographs with the video.
Score = 5
Picture number 2: Gottis, fake bakers, or blackface makeup enthusiasts? YOU decide.
Score = 16
the idea that "getting laid all the time" justifies looking like that ever EVER is exactly what is wrong with youth culture these days.
also those are the people who pass herpes like mixtapes.
Score = 16
i-Five! Basically the same idea and post at the same time. Now we each have to kill the other's mortal enemy.
Score = 12
I would say that most of us men are smart enough not to need an instructional video, BUT I do have a friend that confided in me that he shaved down there and messed himself up pretty bad. I won't get into all of the horrid details, just know that a rash and subsequent infection sent him to the ER at a time that he did not have health insurance. I remind him of it all the time. And, yes, I am so going to forward him that video.
Score = 20
"When there's no underbrush, the tree looks taller."
Score = 11
For added fun, put "douchebag" into Google Images. You'll find at least one of these pics.
Score = 3
I don't really have a lot to say except "This is just straight up shaved balls" is going in my next Xmas newsletter.
Score = 15
I shave my balls.
Score = 4
THANKS FOR THE NIGHTMARES!
Score = 4
I like my dicks smooth as a silk ribbon, long as ball of yarn, soft as a gentle breeze, and thin as a stalk of grass.
Score = 26
gillette has always had the duchebag market cornered.
Score = 3
douchebags. man, i suck.
Score = 11
That last guy is haunting. Truly, truly haunting.
Score = 6
douchebag. my bad.
Score = 0
There is no possibly way that there are women that are attracted to these men. No possible way. I refuse to believe it. I will not lose any more faith in humanity.
Score = 12
Seriously, can't we just burn down New Jersey and start fresh?
Score = 16
Hey! There's a few cool people in New Jersey. We're just hiding out in the Pine Barrens until this whole douchebag thing blows over.
Score = 9
I'm starting WhoopsThoseAreYourEyebrowsGum.com in honor of that last dude. It will mostly be pictures of him drinking Ed Hardy wine and Bawls martinis. (Shaven not trimmed. Duh.)
Score = 16
so many things here: the self-tanner with purple undertones - natural blond died jet black. blowlemia. tanorexia. sonic the hedgehog hair...
soooo many things!
Score = 7
Hint: the tree never ends up looking taller.
Score = 14
I'm surprised no one's commented on the fact that it's Bob Saget doing the instructional voiceover.
Score = 6
Haha. "Kids, before I met your mother, I did a lot of stupid things...like shaving my balls."
Score = 2
Those guys getting laid really does blow my mind because I usually run screaming in the opposite direction when approached by one or in their general vicinity. But it happens, and the girls that make it happen are worse than those asshats.
Also, is this commercial encouraging men to *only* shave their balls?
Score = 4
Where were you when I was in high school?
Score = 1
Also in re: picture #2: can we call that look "boy band face". They look like they want to give girls 10 years younger than themselves grandma-style smooches when they bring them up on stage for that special a cappella number for that one special lady out there in the audience this evening.
Score = 6
Ok, so I'm Canadian, and this has always baffled me. These douchebags in this post (and the hot chicks w/ douchebags website), with the spiky hair and everything, still exist in America? And get women?
I haven't seen a guy like that for five or six years now, I thought they all died out! Honestly. You know who gets girls up here in Ontario? Scraggly hipsters with purple hoodies who listen to Bon Iver and No Age. I'm not joking. Every girl I know is going out with a indie dude, not weirdos like picture above. It really bugs me, because I can't join in youse guyses fun, cuz I can't relate.
Score = 10
Gillette- The best a man can get?
Score = 2
Gillette- The best a man can get?
Score = -4
LAT THE RAZER DO THE WORK
Score = 2
And after manscaping, slap some Jovan Musk on it.
Score = 0
I find the "moisturizer" part most disturbing. Is it just me or is there a subtle "ah" noise in the background at that part?
Score = 3
Shaved balls? Shit is so cash!
Score = 1