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June 30, 2008

UPDATE: "Booty Sweat" Not The Most Racist Energy Drink

thumbnail icon: UPDATE: "Booty Sweat" Not The Most Racist Energy Drink

On Friday, AdAge published a story about the licensing of another imaginary energy drink, Booty Sweat, as a tie-in for this summer's Ben Stiller movie Tropic Thunder. The article included a report that two versions of the drink were going to be created, a plain can for "rural" markets, and then another can for "urban" markets covered in "street slang." Let's revisit that, because it's insane:

Metropolitan stores will carry the description of the concoction as a "delicious and bump up struttin' energy drink that will pump up a brotha's ass right-pronto. This swill will crank yo' metabolism up skippin' right over jiggy to straight G-pimp level, word to your mutha. Brothas will be layin' down the 2-3 on the wiggy jig focusing the energy flow into cold-face benjamins that will fill yo' pimp pockets to burstin'. Damn straight! Booty Sweat will keep a brotha pitchin' straight game all night to the baby-dolls."

I've now been informed by SOURCES CLOSE TO HOLLYWOOD that this copy was printed on prototype cans displayed at a licensing fair and will not be appearing on actual cans of Booty Sweat, and furthermore that there will only be one version of the drink, which makes sense since it's just a silly movie tie-in and not a real thing. Therefore, Booty Sweat, when it hits stores, will not be the most racist energy drink. That title continues to be held by Drank.

But there's one thing that is still bothering me.

THAT THAT COPY EXISTS AT ALL.

I'm glad to hear that both Ben Stiller and Paramount believe that this energy drink should be presented in its simplest, non-racist form, but the fact of the matter remains that those words were strung together in our planet's history. Even a thousand monkeys typing on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years would never be able to be racist in such a weird, tone-deaf way. Let's just look at it one more time:

Metropolitan stores will carry the description of the concoction as a "delicious and bump up struttin' energy drink that will pump up a brotha's ass right-pronto. This swill will crank yo' metabolism up skippin' right over jiggy to straight G-pimp level, word to your mutha. Brothas will be layin' down the 2-3 on the wiggy jig focusing the energy flow into cold-face benjamins that will fill yo' pimp pockets to burstin'. Damn straight! Booty Sweat will keep a brotha pitchin' straight game all night to the baby-dolls."

"Brothas will be layin' down the 2-3 on the wiggy jig." Amazing. Whoever's responsible for that is a shoe-in for the 2008 Clio for "Most Ridiculous And Offensive Thing."

Posted by Gabe at 2:45 PM in
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4 Comments

Yeah, it's still terrible that they even thought to do this for one second. It's not funny, and just adds fuel to the fire of already being a tasteless film.

Good luck with getting people to buy into this crap, losers.

Posted by: SailorAlphaCentauri at 06/30/08 3:14 PM | Reply
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I can't believe Drank exists. That's both bizarre and incredible.

Really, though, Booty Sweat is so ridiculous in every way, including that paragraph that I can't take it seriously. "wiggy jig" and "jiggy to straight g-pimp level" is so beyond insulting that's it's really just sad. I feel bad for whoever could have come up with it because it really says something about him (or her).

Posted by: adrienne profile link at 06/30/08 3:47 PM | Reply
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It's probably supposed to be really bad, I mean what ad man would use "Word to your motha" in copy after 1992.

Posted by: dannygutters at 06/30/08 4:39 PM | Reply
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doesn't anyone remember the lil jon put-on, crunk juice? that shit was real. ingredients include (for real): horny goat weed and the most thugg fruit flavor ever, pomegranate.

Posted by: tom at 06/30/08 8:36 PM | Reply
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