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August 10, 2009

The Legendary Jeremy Piven/Chris Kattan Feud Of 2009

thumbnail icon: The Legendary Jeremy Piven/Chris Kattan Feud Of 2009

Oh, this is great. Since Joe Rogan never took Dan Quinn's bait, a feud between Jeremy Piven and Chris Kattan will have to do. Which is fine, since Joe Rogan and Jeremy Piven are basically the same person. They are both the poor man's version of each other. From the New York Daily News:

Backstage at Alexa Chung's MTV talk show on Thursday, the "Entourage" star got into a screaming match with fellow comic Chris Kattan over the fishy situation.

Kattan - who's been in town talking up his IFC miniseries "Bollywood Hero" - greeted Piven with a snarky, "So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?"

HAHAHA, OK, FIRST OF ALL: a feud between two grown men that begins "backstage at Alexa Chung's MTV talk show" is already basically EPIC. But also Chris Kattan got in a pretty good zing! You know, because of Jeremy Piven's persistent Fish Lie. He's the zingonator, makin' copiiiiieees. (That's Chris Kattan, right? Perfect.)

Anyway, Jeremy Piven, like all bullies, smiled and laughed and realized that he was an adult, and that he could take some gentle teasing from a fellow professional comedian, so the two men shook hands and put it all behind them.

Just kidding.

Piven, who famously dropped out of "Speed the Plow" in December, is in a legal battle with producers who believe the actor fabricated his illness in order to get out of completing his contract, and was none too happy to be reminded of the incident.

The actor sniped back irritably, "Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?" - a reference to Kattan's swishy "Saturday Night Live" stripper character.

HA! That is a pretty good zing, too! Jeremy Piven, head of his own Zingtourage, makin' copiiiiies.

Since they are two grown men who've built careers on their abilities to make and take a joke, though, this is where it ended, with a couple of well traded barbs, backstage at a television show for teenagers.

Oh, no? Right, no.

The actors continued to bark for a few minutes, but while Kattan thought the argument was in jest, Piven did not.

Says an insider, "After some back and forth, Jeremy said something really personal to Chris that basically attacked his career. He said 'Whoa, man - I thought we were just fooling around here.'"

Not the right thing to say to the man who plays Ari Gold, apparently. "I'm getting sued for that s--t!" the actor shouted. "It's not funny!"

Our source adds, "Jeremy slammed the green room door right in Chris' face, and about 20 people in the hallway outside could hear him yelling obscenities. He was furious.

"Chris felt really badly about the whole thing, so about 15 minutes later he tried to approach Jeremy again to apologize, to tell him he was just kidding and that he didn't mean to offend in any way. But Jeremy wasn't having it at all. He slammed the door in Chris' face AGAIN."

Haha. Man, Jeremy Piven. Just the best dude. It's incredible how he's able to portray a mean-spirited, overly aggressive, self-involved, petulant, narcissistic nightmare of a shithead on television. Acting! I bet he wins an Emmy for this feud.

Posted by Gabe at 9:30 AM in
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50 Comments

thank you so much for helping me realize the rob schneider and chris kattan are actually the same person (rob schneider and chris kattan are NOT actually the same person).

Posted by: Saad profile link at 08/10/09 9:42 AM  | Reply
Score = -22 Vote up Vote down

not only is your profile pic a failure game franchise, you don't seem to have a brain.

Posted by: the dust collector profile link  in reply to  Saad's comment at 08/10/09 10:38 AM  | Reply
Score = -34 Vote up Vote down

i like your posts both have grammatic error when you are argue.

Posted by: BRAAAAAAAINSSss profile link  in reply to  the dust collector's comment at 08/10/09 11:01 AM  | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down

If there's one thing that Videogummers hate more than sarcastically criticizing Gabe, it's unsarcastically criticizing Sonic the Hedgehog.

Posted by: moonmaster profile link  in reply to  the dust collector's comment at 08/10/09 6:44 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

Hey man, I upvoted you.

Posted by: Max the King of All Wild Things profile link  in reply to  Saad's comment at 08/10/09 11:15 AM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

Same, the monsters are out to play today!

Posted by: jawbone profile link  in reply to  Max the King of All Wild Things's comment at 08/10/09 11:26 AM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

i think videogum needs grammar and spell check...that is a good investment...or i could actually read my own post before posting...but...

Posted by: Saad profile link  in reply to  Saad's comment at 08/10/09 3:05 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

"C'mon Jeremy...I don't know, what can I do? what else can I say? its all for you."
"Don't hurt me... no more."

Posted by: daebhid profile link at 08/10/09 9:47 AM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

@daebhid I don't know whether to upvote or downvote that Tommy Wiseau icon. It disturbs me.

Back on topic. As a Brit who wasn't a fan of Chung before she moved to the US (and still hopes she stays there so we avoid her!), it amuses me that serious business is taking place backstage on her shows.

Posted by: Bridgey profile link  in reply to  daebhid's comment at 08/10/09 10:28 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

serious business lawls

Posted by: the dust collector profile link  in reply to  Bridgey's comment at 08/10/09 10:39 AM  | Reply
Score = -10 Vote up Vote down

How can this comment be down-voted when it's clearly science fact?

Posted by: Angiekins profile link  in reply to  the dust collector's comment at 08/11/09 4:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I also dislike Chung strongly, since Alex Turner has been dating her he has slowly but surely morphed into her. It creeps me the fuck out.

Posted by: jawbone profile link  in reply to  Bridgey's comment at 08/10/09 10:47 AM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

I did not hit herrr... I did nottt... oh... hi Brigdey!

Posted by: daebhid profile link  in reply to  Bridgey's comment at 08/10/09 10:51 AM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

If Jeremy Piven and Joe Rogan were in a room together and one of them was evil, I wouldn't know which one to shoot.
But that would never happen. Because both of them are evil.
Shoot them both is the solution to this problem. Every time.

Posted by: Becca profile link at 08/10/09 9:49 AM  | Reply
Score = 31 Vote up Vote down

But what if you only had one bullet? WHAT THEN?

Posted by: sarah palin profile link  in reply to  Becca's comment at 08/10/09 11:31 AM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

I think we all know how this story ends.

Posted by: Becca profile link  in reply to  sarah palin's comment at 08/10/09 11:48 AM  | Reply
Score = 21 Vote up Vote down

Your comments always make me laugh. Basically, everything you say gets an automatic +1.

Posted by: Jamie profile link  in reply to  Becca's comment at 08/10/09 1:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

@THE_REAL_SHAQ Just saw all my favorite actors and actresses. I even got corky ramonos autograph. Whewwwwwww

Posted by: trevormail profile link at 08/10/09 9:52 AM  | Reply
Score = 19 Vote up Vote down

It must've been like watching two jockey's fighting.

Posted by: Sean B. Fitzgerald at 08/10/09 9:55 AM  | Reply
Score = 23 Vote up Vote down

I'm guessing this wasn't the point of this, but I've got a bit of respect of Chris Kattan now.

Posted by: whoa! profile link at 08/10/09 10:05 AM  | Reply
Score = 24 Vote up Vote down

let's not go crazy, now.

Posted by: bryan profile link  in reply to  whoa!'s comment at 08/10/09 10:18 AM  | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down

Perhaps, upon seeing each other, they realized their own insignificance in this world. And essentially they were saying to one another, "you suck!", "no, you suck!!!". But inside they were thinking, "yes, i really do suck". I will now go home and cry into a vat of marshmallows - because they are my only true friends.

Posted by: Not So Goodie Mob profile link at 08/10/09 10:08 AM  | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down

In the movie version of this a turd sandwich will be playing the part of Piven, while a giant douchebag will portray Kattan. Right? RIght?

Posted by: Mitchapalooza profile link at 08/10/09 10:12 AM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I forgot Chris Kattan even existed.

Posted by: Funtastik profile link at 08/10/09 10:14 AM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

How loud do you think Piven was crying? (Piven is totally the kind of guy who cries in private and then rides friends for being "pusses" and "gay." Basically he's this one guy I went to high school with. Ugh.)

Posted by: Max the King of All Wild Things profile link at 08/10/09 10:24 AM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

We all went to high school with a Jeremy Piven.

Posted by: kiss the pan profile link  in reply to  Max the King of All Wild Things's comment at 08/10/09 12:23 PM  | Reply
Score = 21 Vote up Vote down

The NYDN referring to Piven as a comic is an insult to comics.

Posted by: Syd profile link at 08/10/09 10:35 AM  | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

Chris wins for best ZING!

Posted by: ber profile link at 08/10/09 10:44 AM  | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

i agree. the mango comment is far from funny. he was reaching

Posted by: the dust collector profile link  in reply to  ber's comment at 08/10/09 10:45 AM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

relax, technojeremypiven.

Posted by: Ginger Ball Z profile link at 08/10/09 10:56 AM  | Reply
Score = 41 Vote up Vote down

DAMN IT, I was meticulously scanning these comments to make sure no one used that before I could say it. I am very sure I should not be as upset about this as I am.

Posted by: Carrie profile link  in reply to  Ginger Ball Z's comment at 08/13/09 11:23 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

"The actors continued to bark for a few minutes..."

Really? I never knew a KATtan could bark! Ha Ha right, guys?

Don't worry, I'll show myself out.

Posted by: The Great Philouza profile link at 08/10/09 11:16 AM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

I kindly ask that you cease and desist with any future Piven news items. It reflects badly on my image of him simply as a man who happens to be in every single John Cusak movie.

Posted by: bytor13 profile link at 08/10/09 11:20 AM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

OH YEAH JEREMY PIVEN WELL NICE HAIR PLUGS! YOU ARE BALD!

Posted by: sarah palin profile link at 08/10/09 11:32 AM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Truth! Also, Jeremy Piven was cast as fictional George Costanza on Seinfeld mainly b/c of his baldness. You can't fool us!

Posted by: Nicolina Marie profile link  in reply to  sarah palin's comment at 08/10/09 8:13 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I wonder how many people watching this just burst out laughing. I also want to know what the real personal thing was.

Posted by: jneslo profile link at 08/10/09 12:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Sure the Piv (that's right, I'm too busy use his full name. I'm important and have numerous business activities to attend to, like freelance graphic design) is a jerk who can't take a joke, but he's a key cog in "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon."

Posted by: BSteck profile link at 08/10/09 12:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

I want to know what Piven said to Kattan that was so personal and hurtful that the battle had to end.

Posted by: Godsauce profile link at 08/10/09 12:21 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

Boy do I have a surprise for you! A friend interviewed Tommy Wiseau this weekend. A good 35 minutes of Tommy-Time on the telephone! TW complimented my friend's voice.

Posted by: whoawhoawhoa profile link at 08/10/09 12:31 PM  | Reply
Score = -3 Vote up Vote down

Color me disappointed. I was hoping for an "I am an adult" JPEG at the end of the post a la McG or Seth MacFarlane. Piven's in great company there!

Posted by: Mcluskyist profile link at 08/10/09 12:36 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

The Piv was promoting his new movie by appearing on Big Brother this weekend, so it must be tough to have a million undeserved Emmys and still have a sadder career than Chris Kattan.

Posted by: moonvest profile link at 08/10/09 1:02 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

A few years back Christ Kattan was going to be in a Broadway musical with Nathan Lane but was fired during the previews because he wasn't good enough. These guys are both. great. actors.

Posted by: Beardzoid profile link at 08/10/09 1:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

And it ran for only 92 performances (under three months). Kattan has exactly one bit and it is Mango.

Posted by: aftershock profile link  in reply to  Beardzoid's comment at 08/16/09 9:36 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Jeremy Piven: You're toupee called. It's wants it's personality back.

Posted by: Snakesterbator at 08/10/09 1:44 PM  | Reply
Score = -4 Vote up Vote down

Piven's the worst, but seriously though -- he was there promoting Mango, right?

Posted by: John Jay Smith profile link at 08/10/09 2:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

I met Chris Kattan in the city once....he was walking down the street with this really tall blonde (well maybe not so tall, he is after all like 5 foot 4) but I stopped in my place, shot a look back like "that guy looks oddly familiar, is he on the television?" and he must of caught me doing this and he stopped as well, smiled the biggest smile possible, and winked. Needless to say I had Chris Kattan nightmares for weeks

Posted by: ihavetoreturnsomevideotapes profile link at 08/10/09 2:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

It's sad that Alexa Chung is the biggest star in this situation.

Posted by: Sedusa profile link at 08/10/09 3:23 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Who the hell is Alexa Chung and why does she have her own show?
Am I missing something?

Posted by: Lucky profile link at 08/10/09 4:10 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Posted by: moonmaster profile link at 08/10/09 6:53 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

(In reply to ihavetoreturnsomevideotapes grumblegrumblepreviewgrumblegrumble)

Posted by: moonmaster profile link  in reply to  moonmaster's comment at 08/10/09 6:54 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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