If Sacha Baron Cohen Is Murdered By Terrorists, Then The Terrorists Win
Uh oh. It is like 9/11 all over again. From the New York Post:
Sacha Baron Cohen has stepped up his security after being threatened by a terrorist organization that is angered at its portrayal in the film "Bruno."The al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades, a coalition of Palestinian militias in the West Bank, said it was "very upset" that it was featured in the movie, starring Baron Cohen's homosexual fashionista alter ego.
The Martyrs' Bri gades has issued a statement to a Jerusalem-based journalist including a veiled threat against Baron Cohen, 37.
"We reserve the right to respond in the way we find suitable against this man," it said. "The movie was part of a conspiracy against the al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades."
Oh jeez. Don't these terrorists get that it was a comedy? Sacha Baron Cohen was playing a character, duh! But you know how these terrorists organizations get: total PC Police.
Also, I am pretty sure that the "conspiracy" against the al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades involves publicly acknowledged concerted military efforts on the part of the United States and Israeli governments, and very little to do with a morally and politically confused movie that dropped 70% in ticket sales in the first weekend. Shhhhh!
Although this part is kind of creepy:
Abu Aita claims that he was tricked into appearing in the film and has insisted that he is no longer involved in the Martyrs' Brigades. He has threatened to sue Baron Cohen."This man, I think he is not a man," Abu Aita said. "He is not saying the truth about me. He lied."
Abu Aita's lawyer, Hatem Abu Ahmad, has said that he is preparing a legal action against Baron Cohen and Universal Studios alleging that the terrorist reference could get his client in trouble with the Israelis and that the gay association could get him killed by Palestinians.
Abu Ahmad said: "This joke is very dangerous. We are not in the United States, we are not in Europe, we are in the Middle East, and the world operates differently here."
PRANKS!
Posted by Gabe at 9:30 AM in Feuds
Tags: al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades | Bruno | Sacha Baron Cohen | Terrorism
"We reserve the right to respond in the way we find suitable against this man,"
i'm pretty sure the interview contract didn't include this line originally. terrorists and their addendums.
Score = 7
This will make for an awkward terrorist meeting: "Item 1: More bombings! Item 2: Do we attend the 8:40 or the 9:30 showing?
Score = 10
They might also wanna Google Jim Dunham while they're at it.
Score = 9
Jeff Dunham, moron.
Score = 26
"Hey guys, this asshole made us look like we want to mercilessly attack and kill a bunch of people! How do we respond? What, Greg? Yes, yes we should totally kill that dickweed! That'll tell him. High five you guys!!!"
-This guyz.
Score = 36
Terrorists: so hard to please.
Score = 46
Terrorists: Like Conservatives but with Towels rapped around their heads
Score = -45
Terrorists: Like the people who downvoted me but with towels rapped around their heads
Score = 50
you're a spelling terrorist
Score = 57
Yes, it's so open-minded to refer to a cultural practice embraced by probably a full tenth of the world's population such as head wrapping as a "towel." You're so above the conservatives on this one.
Score = -12
"Oh jeez. Don't these terrorists get that it was a comedy?" ... but... its ok... lets all be friends again
Score = 13
No.
Score = -7
It's hard enough forming a brigade these days and having it be taken sersiouly without some comedian implying you're gay.
Score = 24
Abu Aita will use any excuse to be part of a celebrity feud.
Score = 45
Everyone's a critic!
Score = 7
"the terrorist reference could get his client in trouble with the Israelis"
Well, that's the understatement of the year.
Score = 12
oh life.....
Score = 0
it's bigger...
Score = 0
Also, Lindsay's on Jezebel now: http://jezebel.com/5323683/lindsay-robertson-is-the-nicest-blogger-in-all-of-new-york
Score = 23
Aw. I'm mixed with feelings of "Yay!" and "Ugh."
Score = 4
Me too.
Score = 1
Whew. Was afraid I'd be targeted as sexist. That website just has too many entries of "This woman wasn't a main character--SEXIST." or whatever that I rarely read through it. And I'm a woman.
Score = -4
That is Tha Coolest! As of late I have been phasing out Jezebel on the Where I Waste Time On The Internet schedule, but I will have to go back and force myself to wade through more articles on "Is this sexist? We can't tell" to check out some Lindsay goodness.
Score = 5
Nice camera-phone headshot. Can we all chip in and get Lindsay some sexy publicity photos like Gabe?
Score = 18
Sure. But she has to wear the "Just Jack" shirt.
Score = 13
wow .. i always thought lindsay was a guy .. i feel totally embarassed now :'(
Score = 2
You mean Abu Aita wan't in on this?! But Brittny Gastineau WAS in on it?
Score = 11
I heard that the ghost of Rob Pilatus has also declared a fatwa against Sacha Baron Cohen.
Score = 13
Those gifs only work when you're not looking for an excuse to use them. Context!
Score = 3
You gotta strike while the iron is hot. I've got a sweet Borat gif that I've been sitting on for 3 years and the thing is fucking useless now.
Score = 15
I didn't realize al-Aqsa Martyr's Brigade did movie nights.
Score = 4
I don't know, it sounds to me like they're coming on to him.
Has anyone ever told them how pretty their eyes are?
Score = 1