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November 12, 2008

Goodbye, Fringe

thumbnail icon: Goodbye, Fringe

I think we're done here. You had your chance. Perhaps you would like to know where you went wrong. OK, let me tell you:

  • A show's characters should NOT be constructed like a high school term paper. Once you've established them, it should be enough to have those characters operate naturally within the fictional world that you have provided for them. But you, Fringe, feel the need to constantly harp on the already flimsy and unengaging two-dimensional traits you've mapped out, as if you were unsure of yourself and wanted to convince everyone you'd done the homework. Walter Bishop is soooo eccentric! Peter Bishop is such a cynic with a heart of gold! Olivia is retarded! We get it, Fringe. In fact, we got it four episodes ago.
  • You might actually be surprised at how much bullshit I am willing to allow when it comes to science fiction. That's the whole point. But the over-the-top experiments have really crossed some kind of tolerability threshold whereby shut up, Fringe. Between the shared dream state, the dead woman's retinal JPG scans, and last night's electrically-charged cadaver mind reading, you have gone too far. I'm an idiot, Fringe, but I'm also not an idiot, you know?

More of what you did wrong after the jump.

  • You basically have only one structure, Fringe. Crazy thing happens at the beginning. Walter chuckles because it reminds him of his work. Things almost get out of control. Walter does some impossible science that is infuriating. Peter is like "This just might work." Olivia Dunham draws her gun and saves the day. Cedric Daniels reminds her just how little she knows about "The Pattern." For a show to have genuine dramatic tension there has to be some element of the unknown or the unexpected, the belief that things could go another way. The Fucking Hills has more dramatic tension than this show.
  • In order to establish a sprawling web of intricate conspiracies that pulls the viewer in and makes them want to know the answers, you kind of need to solve all of these other problems first. You've really gone all in with the massive globe-spanning humanity-endagering mega-mystery before anyone even had time to give a shit. So we don't. Have fun with your big mystery! Don't bother letting me know how it all turns out!
  • Sorry, you're not the X-Files.

Oh, Fringe. We had such high hopes. J.J. Abrams! Paranormal excitement! And you are so shiny and expensive looking! It's hard to say goodbye. Just kidding. It is easy. Goodbye.

Posted by Gabe at 11:30 AM in
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11 Comments

adrienne

I can't give up a show that easily, but I feel you here. I just wish something would happen already! Like if you're going to begin a mystery with a character (like the agent from last night, the woman from massive dynamic, the bald man, etc.) then keep him in future episodes. Otherwise who cares?

Posted by: adrienne profile link at 11/12/08 11:43 AM | Reply
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Gabe

Well, I am sure they will come back to many of those characters. The bald man was at the Frankfurt Airport in last night's episode when Olivia arrived to interview Mr. Jones or whatever. But the problem is that they've opened up about 10 major threads for investigation, from the over-arching threads of The Pattern and Massive Dynamic, to the smaller threads of last night's agent, Little Hill, why they're downloading Agent Smith's brain, who is ZFT, what happened to Peter as a little boy that Walter's being so weird about, etc. And while all those mysteries could create a detailed, complex narrative world to explore and unravel, somehow it all just feels like a hyper-speed version of Lost, where I'm completely convinced JJ Abrams is going to drop all the balls (that's what she said) and leave this show a ragged mess of loose ends and unexplained mysteries. I DON'T NEED THE HEADACHE.

Posted by: Gabe profile link in reply to adrienne's comment at 11/12/08 11:49 AM | Reply
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coming from boston, this gives boston way too much credit of being a hotbed of anything other than ivy league pompousness


I agree with everything you said

now can you talk about how infuriating the third season of Dexter is and how bad the character developement of True Blood is? (Kill them all they are all so annoying)

Yet I keep tuning into both

:(

Posted by: memoo at 11/12/08 11:57 AM | Reply
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Why is no one pointing out the ridiculous fact of THE COW???

Seriously, am I the only person that refuses to expand my imagination and believe a mad scientist needs a fucking COW in his HARVARD LABORATORY and must MILK HIM EVERY EPISODE?!

Posted by: Max at 11/12/08 12:00 PM | Reply
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You forgot the part where Olivia must spend one sequence toward the end of every episode chasing some dude because every criminal is a track star. Actually this may only apply to the first four episodes because after that I quit because DEAD WOMAN EYE SCANS.

Posted by: bec at 11/12/08 1:59 PM | Reply
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shame

"Bones" is way better anyway.

Posted by: shame profile link at 11/12/08 2:05 PM | Reply
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I wanted to like it. I tried to like it. I was all, "Oh, maybe it's like a cross between Alias and The X-Files! I love those shows!" But no. It's maddening in its formulaic execution, and I expected so much more.

Posted by: Katie profile link at 11/12/08 3:26 PM | Reply
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You forgot the part where Peter realizes his dad and his ideas are CAAAAAAH-RAAAAZAAAAAAAAY and feels the need to harp on it fifty fucking times per episode to every single person before cutting ye ole codger some slack so he can solve the "mystery" just in time to drink a fucking ginger ale or take a shit in a bowl of jerky or whatever crazy thing those great writers have dreamed up this week.

Or the part of the show where Walter has been involved in every major piece of globally-threatening fringe science since the dawn of mankind and he can easily solve every problem so why does this show even exist?

Thanks Fringe. I gave up on you after that stupid-ass elevator episode. J.J., just get Lost in gear already, huh? I don't know if i can make it till January.

Posted by: glass_family at 11/12/08 7:15 PM | Reply
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ricardo

This show might be garbage, but you have to admit that little Petey Piranha eating that guy's heart was pretty adorable.

Posted by: ricardo profile link at 11/12/08 11:43 PM | Reply
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after watching last weeks episode, i think you guys are dead wrong. the show is half x-files normal episode and half x-files joke episode. i think we're all preconditioned to think j.j. abrams is working for a high and lofty artistic goal, as opposed to seeing the fun that ensues if you cross dick wolfe with joss whedon. once you give yourself over to the ridiculousness, it's actually quite fun mindless tv watching. Not everything has to be so easily categorized. I could care less if they ever explain the pattern or the bald guy (and his male-PATTERN baldness, get it? I'm hilarious.). And the more I watch it, the less I care about the terrible acting. Also, I predict a Lost cross-over built on a Cedric Daniels bridge.

Posted by: nathan at 11/13/08 6:23 PM | Reply
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shame

Fringe is filming outside of my apartment right now at midnight. They are loud.

Posted by: shame profile link at 11/19/08 12:02 AM | Reply
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