Your Guide To Celebrating Avatar Day
Today, in IMAX theaters around the country, audiences who have reserved tickets on-line will finally be able to see 16 minutes of James Cameron's Avatar in the anamorphic-3D format for which it was intended. The movie, years in the making, is highly-anticipated both by fans of James Cameron, as well those excited for the movie's revolutionary visual technology (Cameron developed entirely new cameras to make the film), and when tickets were originally made available on-line, servers crashed, such was the anticipation. So, here is your guide to celebrating this special day:
- Don't go to see 16 minutes of Avatar on IMAX. If you want to see the movie, that's fine, see the movie when it comes out, but don't be a nerd
- Go outside! It's nice outside!
- Have a nice, cold beverage. Yum!
- Call someone that you care about and talk about things that are meaningful to you
- Eat a healthy meal, not an entire pizza, and if you do eat pizza, eat a reasonable amount of pizza. You know what that is
- Have a contest with your friends to see who can draw an alien that looks like Jar Jar Binks fucked a World of Warcraft character THE LEAST
- Read a book. Just kidding. But you know what I mean.
- Make a list of your priorities, and see if they're in the right order. Is taking time off of work to go see 16 minutes of a movie that looks like deleted scenes from a videogame at or near the top of the list? They are not in the right order then!
- Get a coffee or a snack and rewrite your list
You know what I call Avatar Day? A really pleasant normal day!
Posted by Gabe at 12:30 PM in Events
Tags: 3D | Aliens | Avatar | Avatar Day | Funtimes | James Cameron | Nerds | Pizza | Space
I love Delgo!
Score = 2
I can't but help that this movie is going to end up over at The AV Club under an epic entry in "My Year of Flops" although I guess it's so absurdly hyped that it's got to at least make money.
I'm going to celebrate my Avatar day by avoiding the NYC gross-heatness and continuing to read The Road. It's pretty great so far! (No spoilers, you guys?)
What's everyone else doing?
Score = 0
whoa, I'm not supposed to be asking like a pansy for you guys to avoid the spoilers.
Score = 0
Weird, those are my exact plans.
Score = 2
Get out of my mind!
Score = 1
At the end of the Road there's another road.
Score = 3
He made entirely new cameras? What, do these ones paint and exercise too?
Score = 3
What the fuck is this movie, and who is James Cameron?
Score = 0
Use those (approx.) 30 minutes (travel time + 16 minutes video game reject footage) to take a nap! Your body will thank you.
Score = 1
I was hoping this had something to do with the Nickelodeon show of the same name about children who control the elements. I was gonna tell my 11-year-old cousin, "Look! They made a movie about those kids who move the bowels of the earth and break wind!"
Score = 2
Don't worry -- M. Night Shyamalan has you covered.
Score = 2
You're in luck on that count. Shyamalan had to change the name of his movie to avoid confusion with this one, so it's just called The Last Airbender.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9W1dhqc-JBs
Score = 0
Captain Planet would be nice though, eh?
Score = 3
I suppose it's safe to go ahead and guess that by then end of today, after seeing only 16 minutes of this film, the fanboys will have mostly declared this movie to be the greatest ever made.
Score = 1
When I saw the poster image, I thought it was going to be something "realistically" computer animated, like Beowulf, but I guess the uncanny valley has scared people away from that for a while (I hope... I really do)... now that I realize it's a "live-action" movie featuring the revolutionary technology that brought us Jar-Jar Binks I'm not so sure if that's better or worse...
Score = 2
Where is Aang, Katara and Sokka?
Score = 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0ZjjMBXMpk
Right there!
Score = 1
I had not seen that trailer before so I commend you good sir for making my day.
Score = 0
Can't wait to see the look on Cameron's face when Avatar places 2nd in its opening weekend to Marley & Me 2.
Score = 2
Is that alien played by Hayashida from Cromartie High School?
Score = 0
Since when could you refer to something that lasts 16 minutes as "day"?
I am temporally confused!
Score = 2
Does this movie remind anyone else of a high-budget Wolf Productions?
http://www.utahwolfproductions.com/productions.html
Score = 0
Recently I'd been drifting from Videogum. This post brings me back again. I feel grounded.
Score = 1
I need to see this movie just about as much as I need a kick in the dick
Score = -1
I've always wished theaters would screen shorts throughout the day. You'd just pay a buck or two, and you'd get a 10-40 minute film. It'd be great for those days where you've got a little time to waste, but not enough to see a feature. In that respect, I think this is a great idea, and I wish we'd see more of this kind of thing.
Why is this so terrible? Let the nerds have their day!
Score = 4
Gabe knows what a world of warcraft character looks like because he is an adult (douche).
Score = -10
Look who crawled out of the toilet, you guys! Aaaaaaand...DOWNVOTE!
Score = 6
Once I saw I could vote on the Tyson post, I came back here as soon as I could.
Score = 1
Score = 9
Awesome
Score = 0
Wow, that made me nerd-giggle a little. Nice work.
Score = 0
I'm not too interested in the preview, but I hear the trailers for other preview before it are supposed to be awesome.
Score = 0
This movie is going to suck. I can't wait for it to be a haz-bin. That's how I am,. Ahead of the curve with sci-fi.. And so cool I use phonic abreevz.
Remember the last time everybody got all wet thinking about how their dream boat director was finally going to make the movie after a long ass hiatus? Steven George Spiellucasberg gives his full endorsement. Because once you hit the top, who gives a fuck.
The way this sort of thing works is that they jack us off the best they can to as many of us as possible, because we like it, and once the big day approaches and you shovel out the doe like you should, and take the ride, the hope is that the buzz lasts long enough so that you stumble out into the world and realize that you have been had.
It's The Tops Baby!
Score = 0
Gabe, you don't understand. James Cameron developed a technology that allowed him to make an Angelina Jolie/CCH Pounder/Blue Cat hybrid!! Hello?!
Today is the grand day for all the furverts, boytaurs, girltaurs and regular non-sexual furry enthusiasts, who will converge on their town's local IMAX for a brief glimpse on what will probably be a 2 hour yiff-session!
(Sorry Flushophiles, you just got G-Force)
Fuck off, juggalos! You had your day!
Score = 2
Holy fucking shit.
After I wrote that comment I was like "Hmm, now that I'm thinking about it, I wonder what CCH Pounder is up to these days. I haven't seen her in anything since the Shield."
One IMDB later...
"Oh shit, she's in AVATAR. That's her in Avatar. She's a big blue cat person."
I just made what i thought was a joke but it turns out I'm just stating facts again. *SIGH*
Score = 2
Wow! She was also in Orphan! Wow.
ANYway, I'm gonna go stick my head in the microwave! It's where my CCH Pounder fan club is!
Bye!
Score = 2
After a short intro from Cameron, the first scene is of a group of
human soldiers in a cafeteria being addressed by some sort of superior
officer who has a scar from some sort of claw across his head, which
lets everyone know that he's a bad ass. He is telling everyone
how dangerous Pandora (the planet they are on) is and how his job is
to make sure they don't die and how he is going to fail miserably at
his job. Sam Worthington wheels in on a wheelchair late to the
meeting and makes a bunch of noise as he takes a spot in the back of
the room. So we know he's basically supposed to be like the crippled
Zack Morris of Pandora's Bayside High.
In the next scene Sigouney Weaver is strapping Sam Worthington into a
tanning bed on the set of the Enterprise from Star Trek and it's going
to scan his brain, which she says is really small and pathetic and
they're flirting with each other and Sigouney's still got it even
though she's gotta be 60 now. Then the other scientist who used to be
the fortune teller from Drag Me to Hell is like "Wait a minute
Sigourney, you were wrong about his brain. His Thetan levels are off
the charts!" The technology in the Star Trek Enterprise has come a
long way since the beginning of the summer and everyone is carrying
around big touch-screen iphones that are made out of glass and this
was the first time in a long time I've seen a sci-fi movie and
thought, yes, technology moving in this direction would make complete
sense.
The next scene Sam Worthington wakes up on a gurney, but now he's
Jar-Jar Binks AND he can walk! He's so excited that he can use his
legs that he gets up (when all the scientists are all "SIT DOWN") and
runs away.
The next scene he is hunting on Pandora with Sigourney Weaver, who has
also turned into Jar-Jar Binks, and they find a triceratops whose mom
had sex with a hammerhead shark and Sigourney is like, "Don't shoot -
your bullets will do nothing against his armour but make him angry.
Stand your ground instead". So the thing charges and Sam Worthington
not only stands his ground, but yells in the beast's face and the
beast runs away and Sam Worthington is proud of himself, but it turns
out it didn't run away because Sam Worthington screamed, it's because
there was a jaguar who's mom had sex with the cloverfield monster
standing behind him. The cloverfield monster then chases Sam
Worthington around and might eat him, but probably not because Sam
Worthington is in the next scene...
And in that scene a sexy female Jar-Jar Binks (or Na'vi as they are
called in this movie so they can't be sued by George Lucas - SMART) is
fighting off a baby cloverfield monster and shoots it in the head with
poison arrows because the Na'vi are in touch with nature and don't use
machines like guns because they make you like a screaming baby, which is what
she calls Sam Worthington because his ignorance made her have to kill
an animal, which makes her really angry because she loves animals and
nature. And he's like, "Well if you love them so much, why did you
save me?" and everyone knows it's because of sex, but she lies and
says it's because he has no fear. He's surprised that she knows this
because he doesn't have his favorite No Fear t-shirt on like he
usually does.
Then they take a walk in the forest, which turns into a glow in the
dark miniature golf course at night and James Cameron is all like
"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you my beloved peyote-smoking
demographic".
The last scene is of a bunch of the Na'vi training Sam Worthington
about how to be more green and eco-friendly by catching a dragon on a
water-fall and riding on his back while he flies. Sam Worthington is
really good at this at first because of the whole no fear thing and is
winning the respect of the Na'vi guy who is the boyfriend of the Na'vi
chick who has a not-so-secret crush on Sam Worthington and yikes -
alien love triangle! Then the dragon knocks Sam Worthington off his
back and the boyfriend laughs because he remembers that he wants Sam
Worthington to die, but then he doesn't die and connects his magic
ponytail to the dragon's ear and they fly.
Then there was a montage of a bunch of shots from the movie with loud music.
Score = 1
Um, can this guy have a job here? Maybe Alex Blagg's job?
Just until they kidnap Lindsay and tie her to a swivel chair in the Videogum Offices that totally exist.
Score = 1
God, you fucking hipsters make me so sick. You're talking about something that you've never seen, and you're so sure it's going to fail. You're actually hoping it's going to fail. Did any of you fags actually see the 16 minutes of footage? If you did, you'd know that it was unbelievable and truly revolutionary. But you were all probably too busy trying to squeeze into your girlfriends jeans and grow a 'hip' pot belly at the same time. What a dumb fucking site.
Score = 1
Score = -3