As someone who has held a job sitting in a cubicle typing up character-limited marketing descriptions of products no one wants, I understand how important it is to stay fresh and amuse yourself. I also understand genius when I see it. Whoever wrote this should have their own show. And then write the description of their own show.
Posted by Gabe at 4:00 PM in DVR Descriptions
Tags: High Tension | Puns | Spoilers
Carrie Prejean turned the video camera off, put on some clothes, and stepped out of her house. It was a beautiful day outside. The air smelled like apples, and the late morning light hit the world in just such a...
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If you are a sassy and sarcastic young man in an American sitcom who represents the sitcom writer's desire that a nerdy Jewish teenager can somehow be the desirable romantic hero in this world, then eventually you will get a...
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I shouldn't even be here right now. I SHOULD BE GETTING INTO MY COSTUME! If I don't hurry, my facepaint won't be dry before I get to the MOONVIE theater, and everyone will be like "hahah, you look like you're...
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The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...
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Uh. OK. Well, first let's address what this movie did well, like the disappointed parents we are (or at least that I am), recognizing that the negative feedback won't be useful or constructive if it isn't preceded by something positive....
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My roommate at my last apartment noticed that description, and made a similar comment. We were then delighted to discover that a LOT of the FEARnet movies have similarly awesome descriptions. Check them out. The amusement is endless (except for when you have run through all the movies and then it ends).
Score = 4
The description for "The Last House on the Left" (also FEARnet - coincidence????) was HYSTERICAL... but its gone now and I didn't commit it to memory.
i know - proof or it didn't happen. you're just going to have to take my word for it.
Score = 3
Amazing.
Score = 0
Cable television? Aren't we fancy...
Score = 5
I just spent four minutes watching that Circle of Life video, even though I have a midterm in 1 hour 40 minutes, and need to get much more studying done.
Because if you embed it videogum, I watch it. That is my videogum promise.
Except, "Gizzie" was damn hard to justify.
Score = 2
When you have a midterm in 1 hour 40 minutes, you can somehow watch paint dry and find a reason to be interested. VG embeds are pretty great, but telling anyone that you watched the whole 4 mins of "Circle of Life" may need some serious explanashe.
Good luck on your midterm! In a really weird move during my last final, the teacher passed out Fig Newtons (?) ==> I was obsessed with the packaging of Fig Newtons for 2.75 hours, the duration of the exam. Ask me a question about F.N.'s and I'll give you a full nutritional analysis.
Score = 1
Did you see the first 'Waxwork' about the wax figures that come to life and kill people? Mark and Sarah survived that one. Unfortunately, so did a wax hand that followed Sarah home and killed her stepfather. Now people think Sarah did it. Stupid wax hand.
Score = 2
Aside: High Tension is a pretty good horror flick. Fun to watch.
Score = 3
i just remembered how much i love the music to the lion king.
Score = 0
Yeah, the FEARnet copywriter is an underrated genius. He's like the new Arcata Eye.
I also feel that if FEARnet is going to capitalize the first part of their name, they might as well go the whole nine yards and officially make the change to FEAR!net.
Score = 1
is that....brian from family guy in the background? does gabe....secretly love seth macfarlane?
Score = 3
I wondered the same!
Why, it would be the scandal of the 2009 feb 11!
Score = 4
When is Gabe going to get his own show he can write descriptions for?
Score = 0
The guy who writes those FEARnet descriptions is pretty great. I have an addiction to shitty horror movies so I've probably seen all of them at some point.
Score = 1
I do this job for another on-demand channel. I tried to be funny one month and got yelled at. I'm jealous of the FEARnet guy.
Score = 0