The best thing about this video is that it's just a straight-up excerpt from a DVD that you can purchase, uploaded by the distribution company that's selling it. Everything Is Terrible and the YouTube Goons had nothing to do with it! Grassroots marketing! The only problem is that you can't have the DVD shipped to you. You have to go to this dude's house for a vegan potluck dinner to pick it up. NO SHOES ALLOWED.
Here's how the full experience of Body Memories is described on the website, with director's commentary (me!):
You are invited to come and dance the edge between what is deeply personal and very human, between laughter and grief and wonder.
Oh shoot! I'm busy! Maybe I can get a rain check on dancing the edge between what is deeply personal and very human, between laughter and grief and wonder?
The Sony Pictures Home Entertainment comedy, which grossed $146.3 million in U.S. theaters, continued to see heavy action at retail, with its rental activity falling off just 26% from the previous week, according to Home Media Magazine market research.
I don't know what any of those words mean, but I do know that America is retarded. Have you ever been married for so long that you wake up in bed one morning and look at your spouse and think "who are you?" Me neither, but that is a cliched experience that I have heard of before that seems similar to the experience I am having with America. Who are you, American public? What is wrong with you? Get out of my bed!
Seriously, why is everyone buying Paul Blart: Mall Cop?
I have a new saying that isn't going to catch on for things that are always about to happen but never actually happen, like The State coming out on DVD or an Arrested Development movie existing: "Trailer or it didn't happen." There is now a trailer for The State's July 14 DVD release, and even as a fan of The State, this trailer got me more excited than I thought I could be. In addition to being exciting news in itself, it's also going to open up a whole new world of every single interview with any of these actors no longer including a stupid "When is The State coming out on DVD" boring question. Yay!:
Role Models, aka the only good comedy we've been given in the past five months, came out on DVD today (I never got around to seeing Four Christmases, but I think I can still stand by this.) If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing it, the comedy that was criticized by comedy nerds for being "mainstream" because it was directed by David Wain, whose fans want him to starve to death, wasn't actually mainstream at all -- the entire last third of the movie is a (spoiler) epic battle in a park between children and adults dressed in medieval costumes (it's more than that, but that's basically it, and it's hilarious.) And the movie's moral, about sticking up for the underdog, is more complicated than the marketing about boys becoming men would suggest. It's also totally earned.
I was browsing through recent new releases on Netflix today, and there are so many movies that are now out on DVD that seemed kind of interesting when they were in theaters that I just could not give an effffffff about now. What Just Happened?? Lars and the Real Girl? Who has time for this stuff? Both of those movies seemed like perfectly legitimate ways to spend two hours a few months ago, but not anymore. The world is changed, I can feel it in the water. At best, I would put them on my Netflix queue to fester unsent, only to be rediscovered two years later, hovering down in the 300s, where I'm like "Eagle Eye? I don't even know what that is." So, what happened?
The window closed on middle ground movies. CURSES!
There are so many classic movies that I have still never seen, and so many legitimate new releases that deserve an audience, that this middle-of-the-road stuff will never make it. You are the middle-of-the-road-could-go-either-way-and-I-kind-of-feel-like-if-you-were-at-all-worth-watching-someone-would-have-told-me-about-it-by-now-so-who-has-the-time link. Goodbye. Some of us are busy, you know. THESE ED HARDY T-SHIRTS AREN'T GOING TO ORGANIZE THEMSELVES IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER OF PURCHASE.
You might complain that it's this type of attitude that has forced the studios into shorter theatrical releases, making big marketing pushes for record opening week sales and pulling films from distribution quickly if they don't perform. Thus the tendency towards horrible remakes and endless sequels, which have a built in audience that can be mobilized quickly, unlike a more thoughtful or original movie that might need explanation or at the very least time to find an audience. The studios then also ignore smaller films, forcing them to find a life on DVD. You might complain that. You might be right.
But seriously, who has time for these movies? Do you have time for them? Why do you have time for them? Shouldn't you be busy Painting, Exercising, Playing Ping Pong, and Organizing Your Ed Hardy T-Shirts as we discussed? Let's go, y'all!
This deleted scene from The Ten is going around this week. Somehow I missed it on the DVD, but it's Paul Rudd protesting too much about an illicit affair with a girl he met at Starbucks, and it's very funny:
Between this and Paul's rant about coffee cup sizes in Role Models, well, um, he has at least two funny scenes that are about Starbucks. I guess that's it. Paul Rudd is obsessed with Starbucks, the end. (If you haven't seen The Ten, it's hilarious.)
Look, I love to see things in the sharpest resolution possible. I watch the world through 1080p eyes. I would rather watch TBS Superstation in HD than Friday Night Lights on a standard definition television. (That is not true, but it is an example that makes my point.) I'm a pixel snob. But so far I've satisfied myself with my PAUPER'S up-convert DVD player. The Blu Ray thing just reminds me of the Mini-Disc Player fiasco of the mid-90s, and I VOWED NEVER TO BE BURNED AGAIN. But that doesn't mean I don't see the appeal. Admittedly, in our current ECONOMIC CRISIS, spending 300 dollars on another DVD player in order to watch SLIGHTLY CRISPER movies that I have already seen seems a bit excessive, and yet I remain CURIOUS and KIND OF WANTING ONE. (Why am I YELLING SO MUCH?)
As with any nascent technology, there is a limited selection of compatible releases as the entertainment companies slowly acclimate consumers to the idea of replacing the DVD collections that they just started building up a few years ago, and, um, I was going through them today, and, um, there are a bunch of movies on Blu Ray that do not need to be movies on Blu Ray. Like, obviously The Dark Knight and Planet Earth are going to be great. Sold. I'm even willing to accept that someone might want to see Kung Fu Panda at its most vibrant. But something tells me the world could do without a Super High Definition copy of ROUNDERS. After the jump, please help me figure out which is the least necessary movie released on Blu Ray (to date):
Simon Pegg Doesn't Want Us To Buy His DVD• Simon Pegg and Robert Weide are mad that the US version of the DVD of their movie, How To Lose Friends And Alienate People, doesn't have their chosen bonus material on it, so they're all "Don't buy it, guys, for real." DEAL. (Zing.) We still might Netflix it out of a mixture of curiosity and contrarian-ness, though.
The Terminator trudged along the wooded path towards the lake, his gun dangling by his side, the taunts still ringing in his hypersensitive bionic ears. He stared at the ground as he walked, and didn't even bother scanning anything with...
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
Do you ever eat foods that you know you don't like, just to remind yourself why you don't like them? I think that's a good thing to do sometimes! The worst case scenario is that you might momentarily have a...
Last weekend, something strange happened. Some of the Videogum Monsters created their own secret, password-protected chat room. In 2009! Incredible! I suppose every monster has his cave, or whatever. As it turned out, though, we already had a Videogum Chat...
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.
The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...
I went to see Where the Wild Things Are on Saturday, but it was sold out. Ay-ay-ay. That was a surprise! I mean, anticipation for this movie seemed pretty high, but anticipation for lots of movies seems high, especially when...
