Kings: The Drinking Game
So I watched the two-hour premiere of Kings last night for some reason, and it was hilarious. Even though the show is really up-front about the fact that it's modeled on the story of Saul and David from the Bible, I still couldn't help but crack up whenever they threw in a really obvious reference, like David's name being "David Shepherd," or a newspaper headline about David defeating Goliath. It's not a bad show or anything, it just takes itself and its mythology VERY seriously. It's a total male fantasy soap opera as imagined by a very smart fourteen year old boy. It's like the grown-man version of Gossip Girl. Last night's two-hour premiere was more than enough material for a predictive drinking game, assuming it stays on the air, so let's get this started.
Drink Whenever:
1. Something happens that happened in the Bible, like David defeating (a) Goliath.
2. You see that stupid butterfly symbol -- Silas's brand logo as a king. (This alone should keep you constantly drunk.)
3. Someone refers to his or herself as King, Queen, Prince, or Princess.
4. The King suggests in code that someone be killed.
5. There's a news report about that person's accidental death.
6. The King calls someone "puppy."
7. Someone refers to a new fake country or place, as when the princess said last night that a piano "Was a gift from the Prime Minister of Austeria."
8. The King mentions god. The King talks about god all the damn time.
9. The secretly gay prince (the Chuck Bass of this show) is referred to as "The Party Prince."
10. The Queen is an entitled bitch.
11. The King speaks unnaturally about how he is the king, as in: "King of all I survey, and I still can't find an office chair that doesn't give my back spasms." He said that. For real. If you must watch Kings, drink responsibly.
Posted by Lindsay at 1:45 PM in Drinking Games, New TV Shows
Tags: Ian McShane | Kings
As a male who loves fantasy, I enjoyed the shit out of this ridiculous show.
Score = 0
Sorry, puppy.
Score = 0
Agreed. Best thing on NBC in years.
Score = 0
I thought it was awesome - in a heavyhanded-Biblical-Allegory-but-somehow-not-preachy-and-oh-yea-everyone-is-hot-and-someone-is-gay,-doesn't-this-all-remind-you-of-The-First-Knight-starring-Richard-Gere-and-Sean-Connery kind of way.
I'l be tuning in next week
Score = 3
I loved how the queen made everyone search for her cell phone just so she could give it to someone to hold it for her.
Score = 0
Oh pretty prince of parties where's the party now? (I don't know)
Score = 7
Wait, so it's actually about a royal family? I was wondering about that. Also, you forgot to capitalize "God", as it's a proper noun.
Score = -3
yea, the King did get weirdly old-timey without any warning "WE ARE THE KING. bla bla bla bla... MINE EYE... bla bla bla bla."
Score = 1
hahaha, "we are the king." I forgot about that. Also, the chicken or egg speech what? Why does anyone even listen to him? He's the Michael Scott of Kings.
Score = 2
I just want to see the David and the Party Prince hump.
Score = 2
I'm just waiting for Andy Samberg to come in and try to beat the King's ass to prove to him that he is a man. "I'm going to my happy place"
Score = 0
I don't like to get involved in politics but I hope this show makes it into the Videogum recap schedule.
Score = 1
SWEARINGEN.
Score = 2
T-minus 5 minutes until my friends and I watch the premiere and play this game. I'll check back in. If I can type.
Score = 0