September 14, 2009
Well, here we are. We stand at the precipice of an enormous crossroads. After months of speculation about how Jay Leno would forever change the face of late night television (or of prime time television? I'm not a Television Scheduling Scientist), all will be answered tonight. For the most part I think we know what to expect, though, right? It's going to be tepid, toothless humor aimed at Brawndo sipping Buy-N-Large customers. But with more race cars.
I would like to say that I am curious, but I am not curious, because Jay Leno has built his career on a lack of curiosity. There is no ambition* or innovation in Jay Leno's work. What we have always seen is what we have always gotten. There is no suggestion that this will be any different. Tonight will not be New Leno, it will be Classic Leno, and Classic Leno is awful. "No desk" is not innovation just as "talking to Jerry Seinfeld about expensive cars we own" is not funny.
Nevertheless, I will be watching. And we should take what little enjoyment we can find in this world where we can. So might as well have fun with it, right? After the jump, the rules for the Jay Leno Show Drinking Game.
Continue reading The Jay Leno Show Drinking Game...
Posted by Gabe at 4:15 PM in , ,
Tags: Jay Leno | The Jay Leno Show
latest by amanda
August 11, 2009
Yay! It's finally happening! Tonight is the season finale of NYC Prep, and hopefully maybe just finale finale if we're lucky. It was not cool sitting next to you in biology this year, have a terrible summer, please don't K.I.T.! Oh, I really was not sure if this show would ever end. Anyway, while you're watching tonight, you can play this funtimes drinking game (because there is nothing more appropriate than a drinking game for a show about children! Besides, whatever, "you learn how to drink in sophomore year," right?). Don't get too drunk, though because then you'll be too sick tomorrow to enjoy the lightness and beauty of a world without these terrible children up in your face. I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD! We pop champagne!
Take a drink:
Continue reading The NYC Prep Finale Drinking Game...
Posted by Gabe at 3:30 PM in ,
Tags: Alcohol | Children | NYC Prep | Rich People
latest by Mara
June 11, 2009
Gwyneth Paltroooooowwwwwwww! Killing it! Everything she does is perfect. Wait, what did I say? Everything she does is retarded? Perfect. From her latest issue of Goop:
The summer before last, a mutual friend brought the lovely Katie Lee Joel and her husband William over for dinner. Much to my delight, she brought a fresh batch of these cookies with her. I adore the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries - heaven.
Right. William Joel. That's what everyone calls him. The piano sir.
Man, Gwyneth Paltrow, everybody. The only person who somehow manages to take the awfulness of name dropping to a the next level! This ain't your father's name dropping. Let's hear it for her!
Continue reading What Is Your Gwyneth Paltrow Name?...
Posted by Gabe at 2:00 PM in
Tags: Billy Joel | Goop | Gwyneth Paltrow
latest by wheatus
April 2, 2009
After 15 years, the beloved hospital drama ER is broadcasting its final episode tonight. It's a time to reflect on the show's award-winning history, but as the New York Times likes to point out, it's also a time to point out that this show probably should have ended awhile ago:
This medical drama that won 22 Emmy Awards and at its height commanded audiences 30 million strong hasn't received an Emmy since 2005 and is outshone in the ratings by newer hospital dramas like "House" and "Grey's Anatomy."
Aww. This is worse:
All that angst, conscious and unconscious, made for a bracing season. Just as TB patients develop rosy cheeks in the final stages, "ER" at the end recovered the vigor and urgency of its prime.
There you go, ER, congratulations. After 15 years, the paper of record compares you to a tuberculosis patient. You did it! Drop dead.
In any case, as a tribute to this show's impressive run in a well-worn genre, please enjoy the ER Series Finale Drinking Game:
Continue reading The ER Series Finale Drinking Game...
Posted by Gabe at 2:00 PM in
Tags: Alcohol | ER | Hospital
latest by Jocelyn
March 18, 2009
After a two-week hiatus, Lost returns tonight with what will undoubtedly be a great episode (because they're all great, duh, even when they're not as great as other episodes, for example the great Beard Whoops of 2009 that was still the weakest episode of the season no matter how mad it makes the Beard Police, so boo hoo to you, nerds). What's become clear this season is that we're in a new era of Lost (I'm the Mayor of Duh Town) with exciting new tropes and mysterious new mysteries. Which means it's time for the Lost Season 5 Drinking Game.
This is not to be confused with the Lost Season 1 Drinking Game (drink every time someone asks what is in the hatch), the Lost Season 2 Drinking Game (drink every time someone says "I'm going back to the hatch"), the Lost Season 3 Drinking Game (drink every time you wonder if this whole season is seriously going to take place in a fucking zoo), the Lost Season 4 Drinking Game (drink every time Jack drinks), or any other subpar Lost Drinking Game. This is a NEW Lost Drinking Game, you guys. The future is now.
Continue reading The Lost Season 5 Drinking Game...
Posted by Gabe at 5:15 PM in
Tags: Lost
latest by Rose
March 16, 2009
So I watched the two-hour premiere of Kings last night for some reason, and it was hilarious. Even though the show is really up-front about the fact that it's modeled on the story of Saul and David from the Bible, I still couldn't help but crack up whenever they threw in a really obvious reference, like David's name being "David Shepherd," or a newspaper headline about David defeating Goliath. It's not a bad show or anything, it just takes itself and its mythology VERY seriously. It's a total male fantasy soap opera as imagined by a very smart fourteen year old boy. It's like the grown-man version of Gossip Girl. Last night's two-hour premiere was more than enough material for a predictive drinking game, assuming it stays on the air, so let's get this started.
Continue reading Kings: The Drinking Game...
Posted by Lindsay at 1:45 PM in ,
Tags: Ian McShane | Kings
latest by Dr. Crentist
May 5, 2008
Last night, I caught a few episodes of The History Channel's Ax Men, a one hour reality show about Oregon loggers from the creators of Ice Road Truckers (because even things that happened five minutes ago are technically "history." I want The History Channel to just say "fuck it" and have a show that takes place in the future.) I have to admit I started watching it a little ironically, but the show soon lured me in because it's a show about a bunch of dudes almost killing themselves cutting down trees while cursing constantly. Next Sunday at 10 when you have people over to watch Ax Men, here's a drinking game to make it more interesting. Take a drink whenever:
- Anyone curses
- Anyone says "load"
- A logger accuses another logger of being lazy
- A logger complains about technology
- Someone almost dies
I promise you'll be wasted.
Posted by Lindsay at 2:24 PM in ,
Tags: Ax Men
latest by Christal's Dad
