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August 3, 2009

This Halloween's Scariest Costume

thumbnail icon: This Halloween's Scariest Costume

Dlisted has discovered this year's scariest Halloween costume. It is a midwestern secretary working at a dental hygienist's office in a strip-mall who spends most of her days wondering if she ever even had dreams of a better life to give up on in the first place Kate Gosselin. It is only $14.99, the same price Kate Gosselin originally paid for her haircut!

The one thing that's nice about this costume is that anyone who buys it already owns the pre-requisite BAD DECISION MAKING SKILLS.

"Zing"
--Kate Gosselin's children

The only thing worse than this Kate Gosselin costume, which is very very bad, is the inevitable hipster version. Like, wearing some glittery high-collared shirt from the '80s and being Flock of Gosselins or whatever. Ugh. I don't know! It's bad enough that I'm going to have to see the hipster version of this costume, don't make me do the actual work of inventing it as well.

Boo. This guy knows what I'm talking about.

Posted by Gabe at 4:30 PM in
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35 Comments

The woman in that picture looks so happy.

Posted by: Godsauce profile link at 08/03/09 4:36 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Shit, wait! I meant dead inside.

Posted by: Godsauce profile link  in reply to  Godsauce's comment at 08/03/09 4:37 PM  | Reply
Score = 18 Vote up Vote down

AIDS > Kate Gosselin

Posted by: jawbone profile link  in reply to  Godsauce's comment at 08/03/09 5:17 PM  | Reply
Score = -14 Vote up Vote down

AIDS = Kate Gosselin

Posted by: Jenn  in reply to  jawbone's comment at 08/04/09 2:43 AM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Willingness to exploit one's own children and impossibly stretched vagina sold separately.

Posted by: moonmaster profile link at 08/03/09 4:39 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

This young lady looks like an extra on set of Night Court.

I don't imagine Kate Gosselin dresses well, but I don't believe she dresses like this. This hilariously frumpy.

Posted by: cubiclechaos profile link at 08/03/09 4:48 PM  | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down

however, they did get the Jon costume dead on.

Posted by: bingo gas station profile link  in reply to  cubiclechaos's comment at 08/03/09 5:04 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

Needs more Ed Hardy.

Posted by: Liz profile link  in reply to  bingo gas station's comment at 08/03/09 10:47 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

That's just a remaindered Cindy McCain costume.

Posted by: Lord Growing profile link at 08/03/09 4:48 PM  | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

At least you can't buy fake octomom lips yet. Wait till you see what the hipsters will do with that!
(Hint: it involves genitalia.)

Posted by: Fizz profile link at 08/03/09 4:49 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

It was marked down from $20. It's a steal!

Posted by: Elizabeth profile link at 08/03/09 4:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

i hear the Jon Gosselin costume is gonna be a clown outfit with a hat that looks like an ass (self-esteem not sold at all, much less separately).

Posted by: Weeam profile link at 08/03/09 4:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Add some zombie makeup to this thing and we've got a winner. Being Zombie Kate Gosselin will definitely get you all the candy+party invites this Halloween.

Posted by: Brian Farrelly profile link at 08/03/09 4:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

Halloween shouldn't have to be about forgiveness.

Posted by: Smokey Harem profile link at 08/03/09 5:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 22 Vote up Vote down

There will probably be various Jon Gosselin costumes. He has quite the fashion range:

Posted by: cubiclechaos profile link at 08/03/09 5:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 27 Vote up Vote down

Those are the most awesome jeans I have ever seen. I would wear them proudly while pouring five ounces of Ed Hardy wine on the ground for my fallen homies.

Posted by: Godsauce profile link  in reply to  cubiclechaos's comment at 08/03/09 5:20 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

Good luck obtaining them! These jeans are over $600!!

And can only be paid for in rolls of pennies.

Posted by: cubiclechaos profile link  in reply to  Godsauce's comment at 08/03/09 5:31 PM  | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

you mean they can only be paid for in the souls of your children. no wonder he has 8!

Posted by: swinglow profile link  in reply to  cubiclechaos's comment at 08/03/09 6:30 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Panty dropping jeans if there ever were any.

Posted by: Yep.  in reply to  cubiclechaos's comment at 08/03/09 11:41 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

"fashion is expensive, but this love don't cost a thing"

Posted by: pandamystery profile link at 08/03/09 5:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

You can really tell how hard they are trying not to overtly say the words Kate Gosselin, but that they reeeeeaally want to imply it.

Posted by: DotheFeedback profile link at 08/03/09 5:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Oops, and now it's out of stock. BECAUSE I BOUGHT THEM ALL.

Posted by: DotheFeedback profile link  in reply to  DotheFeedback's comment at 08/03/09 5:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 18 Vote up Vote down


Suffering? You haven't seen anything yet.

Posted by: tinyghosts profile link at 08/03/09 5:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 22 Vote up Vote down

My friends and I are going as the cast of What About Bob. As the Jew I of course get stuck with the role of Dr. Leo Marvin.

Posted by: Kahdooze to all of us. profile link at 08/03/09 5:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

Mediocrity...Im drowing in it.

Posted by: I am Black Wizards profile link at 08/03/09 5:27 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

It's sad when a wig based on a person's haircut has more even highlights then the person's actual hear.

Posted by: Mcluskyist profile link at 08/03/09 5:46 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

*hair

Posted by: Mcluskyist profile link  in reply to  Mcluskyist's comment at 08/03/09 5:47 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Well I guess you are supposed to be scary on Halloween. . .

Posted by: abby r. profile link at 08/03/09 6:49 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Roland Emmerich should make a movie about this family. "Jon and Kate plus 8 plus hate plus date other people now you low-life bottle nose crawlfins"

Posted by: I am Black Wizards profile link at 08/03/09 7:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I think I'm more worried about the Michael Jackson 'tribute' costumes this year, but at least they won't be in black-face.

Posted by: El Chombo at 08/03/09 9:23 PM  | Reply
Score = -6 Vote up Vote down

I don't know if this has been noted in other threads, but guys! Today is Gabe's birthday!

Posted by: uh oh! at 08/03/09 9:28 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

if i had photoshop i would put the wig on a penis, then we would rate ^ x1000 = comment of the week.

Posted by: BRAAAAAAAINSSss profile link at 08/03/09 11:45 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

You know there's going to be some poor kid out there who's mom decided to be a "cool mom" and take them trick-or-treating like that. Which is still not a step up from the moms as Borat fiasco a few years back.

Posted by: Abby profile link at 08/04/09 3:34 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

"Flock of Gosselins". Genius. The end.

Posted by: Detroit Dutchgirl profile link at 08/10/09 3:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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