That's Your Penis Enlargement System: The Pro-Extender
Needless to say, your penis enlargement system is NSFW.
TRULY.
You know a penis enlargement system is super pro when it comes with a CD ROM. Kiss your concerns of this being a dangerous, hackneyed scam preying on male insecurity away. CD ROM, dude. 2 legit. 2 legit to quit extending your penis. So pro. All of the doctors are like "I endorse this science product." Don't believe me? HERE IS AN ILLUSTRATION OF SOME DOCTORS STANDING AROUND.
You also know a penis enlargement system is super pro when the person doing the voice over talks like a computer but is not a computer. Was it weird hiring your boyfriend to do the voice over for your penis enlargement system? I'm sorry, I know it's none of my business. Crooked penis?
Seriously, though, that CGI Penis designed by a graduate of the local technical institute's night classes in computer animation program is some Dune monster shit. Turn your penis into a total SPICE WORM.
Posted by Gabe at 3:15 PM in Dream Merch
Tags: Penis Enlargement | Penises | The Pro-Extender
Haha, the voice-over guy should do EVERY voice-over from now on. He even squishes certain words together awkwardly like a computer. Love it.
Score = 3
I'm pretty sure by "voice-over guy" you mean:
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I just went to youtube to see if I could find a video of a speak and spell working. Nostalgia! However, most of what I found was a dane cook bit about them.. UGhhhh. Please vote me down - I made a dane cook joke by accident and I hate myself for it.
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LOL dere is a weenie on dat!!! i never laff so hard!!
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where do you even find these pictures?
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On the interwebs.
Score = 10
you can always trust clip art doctors...
Score = 12
I enjoy these captionned polaroids from the website. I did not enjoy, however, the real photos of the extended in use. I will not link to them, but you can basically watch any Saw movie and use your imagination.
Score = 3
Captioned*. Extender*. I'm the worst.
Score = 4
I like how they made the penis cells look like boobs.
Score = 3
I think that penis ate Beetlejuice.
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Ironically, watching those cells split made my penis shrink.
Score = 6
Only $429.95!!!
P.S. Most disturbing motion graphics EVER.
Score = 2
I've always wanted my penis stretched until the cells split!
Score = 8
yea - I'm really concerned about the ATOMIC ENERGY being released in penises all over the world if that's what this product is really claiming to do.
dick nukes!
Score = 12
So I didn't just have to tie a brick to the end of it and jump around? DAMN!
Score = 2
This gave me a boner.
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you didn't like my penis animation? i was desperate, i had to put food on my family. there's a lot of work in the penis arts because no one wants to offer their penis as the guinea pig... penis (that's 4 times in one post).
Score = 4
I was watching this while talking to my mom on the phone. I had to stop it. . .I felt too dirty.
Also is the main theory you stretch the penis out until it stays that way? I don't think you need a special scary torture device for that.
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that penis model, the one suspended in space, that thing looks like an alien creature. Or an alien creature's fetus.
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I thought the penis was a horse at first glance of the video.
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Finally! The stretch mark penis I've always wanted!
Score = 3
No mail-order product can increase penis size.
Follow up for drfwangy who assumed I was giving misinformation: http://quackwatch.org/search/webglimpse.cgi?ID=1&query=penis
I did find that exact quote there, but perhaps they were covering only the ingestible stuff. Still, if you look, people debunk that stuff everywhere: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=51093
Score = 0
which enlargement pills works.
Boys enlarge penis, girls get boob bobber
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The voice work would have been better if it were McG or Michael Bay.
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if this is supposed to make your peen bigger, i'm going with a big ol' interweb FAIL. that commercial just gave me an instant vagina from the total fear it managed to invoke.
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thank you for info, very interesting.
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