Chainsaw Bayonet Mounted Assault Rifle Is The Ultimate Weapon In The Pumpkin Apocalypse

This man (via BoingBoing) has mounted a chainsaw onto an assault rifle. Fair enough.

Some people are arguing that this is the ultimate weapon for the Zombie Apocalypse. Let's get real, you guys. Zombies are fast now. They have been since 2002, and they're only getting faster. Besides, a chainsaw is a blunt instrument. It's not going to get through the vertebrae fast enough to end brain function before you get bitten, and since nowadays even just exposure to zombie blood can be enough to cause infection, I think you're looking at a sluggish weapon that's going to weigh you down with minimal improved defense. Good luck. I won't hesitate to destroy you if you get turned.

On the other hand, as this video shows, this is an unparalleled weapon for the Pumpkin Apocalypse. Even if the pumpkins aren't pulverized by the bullets, once they've fallen off the log onto the ground, you can awkwardly chop them up using the mounted chainsaw. Those pumpkins won't be taking over the mall anytime soon.

Posted by Gabe at 1:45 PM in Dream Merch
Tags: Gears Of War | Guns | Zombies

7 Comments

Life's good when you're a "red-stater" - that cackling in the background is way too creepy. I can just picture a razzled old mammy in a rocking chair on the deck of a log cabin who's obviously so proud of her son - he's a surefire recruit when the next backwoods militia tryouts are held - job well done skeeter.

Posted by: Hit the Switch at 12/02/08 2:00 PM | Reply
Score = 1

I feel like this should belong on Failblog, for what reason I'm not sure.

...and is it bad that I almost wanted him to fall onto the chainsaw?

Posted by: Peter at 12/02/08 2:16 PM | Reply
Score = 0

I'm pretty sure the ultimate weapon for the Zombie Holocaust is to grow the fuck up because zombies are for teenage boys whose mothers' drank.

Posted by: Sean Robinson at 12/02/08 2:44 PM | Reply
Score = -4

Not to say that this wouldn't be the ultimate weapon in a Zombie Holocaust, but it is really the Lancer Rifle from Gears of War.

Posted by: dt at 12/02/08 3:01 PM | Reply
Score = 0

When it comes to zombie apocalypses, I prefer a pimped out force gun a la Dead Space. Very effective for getting the fuck out. Or one could always keep it simple and stick to the old board with a nail in it.

Posted by: Wandicorn at 12/02/08 3:28 PM | Reply
Score = 0

but wandicorn, what if your board with nail (nailboard?) gets stuck in a zombie, then you are out a nail, a board, and you have a bunch of angry zombies, one of which has a nail in his head, on your hands

Posted by: tr3ble99 at 12/02/08 7:29 PM | Reply
Score = 0

whoops

Posted by: tr3ble99 at 12/02/08 7:31 PM | Reply
Score = 0