Remember the heady days of late June, when our heartsicles were melted by the YouTubed story of those guys being reunited with their pet lion in the '60s? This morning, The Today Show played the video and Meredith Vieira cried! Strangely, though, they chose to just show the amateur, kind of awkwardly-done video straight from YouTube with no commentary or reportage other than calling it heartwarming and big on the internet. (This version uses I Will Always Love You, a better choice than the previous version's I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing.):
Showing this video without context is kind of like Meredith Vieira reporting that her friend's brother's uncle woke up in a New Orleans hotel room bathtub without his liver, but whatever, it's summer. Maybe this took the place of one of those "Why you should feed your kids other things besides candy!" Idiocracy segments.
This morning on The Wendy Williams Show, Omarosa Blahblah-Blarghblargh came on to promote her new book Maybe Someone Will Accidentally Buy An Advice Book By Omarosa?, and the question of who would win in a fight, Wendy Williams or Omarosa, was answered before Wendy Williams was famous enough for it to be asked. Wendy used her home-studio-audience advantage, but being a person with feelings, she was no match for Omarosa's low blows. Watch as these two turn a conversation about women's empowerment in the workplace into a childish fight about who has had more plastic surgery:
While it does seem like Omarosa "won", it's important to keep in mind that if there's one thing we know about Wendy Williams, and there probably is only one thing, it's that she is very open about the fact that she wears wigs.
Maury Povitch's bread and butter, People Who Are Afraid Of Ordinary Things, includes the pickle lady and people who are afraid of balloons and cotton balls. Via Mark Lisanti, here's Sean, the guy who is six feet tall, 270 lbs, and deathly afraid of peaches:
When they show that long shot of the peaches tumbling over each other and then they smash the peaches with disembodied hands, it actually is a little bit scary. There should be a horror movie about deadly ordinary foods and objects, because there are clearly a lot of people out there suffering. (Billy Bob Thornton could do a cameo in a scene where antiques attack.)
Matt Lauer and Al Roker accidentally wore the same suit on the same day for the first time in fifteen years today (they say that, I haven't been, like, keeping track). So Al Roker compares them to "Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito in Twins" to which Gabe would probably say "No, Al Roker":
As usual, Ann Curry is there to tell everyone to settle down and stop having fun, and to make an obscure Cat In The Hat reference.
Oh man, with total apologies, Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal were on The Today Show this morning, and this clip from the show has been titled "Aaron Eckhart Tells Moving Story About Heath Ledger's iPod", so, um, yeah. It is a moving story about Heath's friends passing along his favorite music to each other, but it would be so much less cringe-worthy if "record collection" were substituted for "iPod":
It's also creepy because they're all using their weird low-toned "someone died" voices to talk about "crazy whacked out music nobody's ever heard of" on an iPod. It is just impossible to say "iPod" in a serious context, even for Aaron Eckhart. He might want to take that story out of his Dark Knight publicity tour repertoire.
The August issue of Details has a nice profile of Joel McHale, who opens up in his "thinking woman's hearthrob" way about his aspirations as a serious actor, what it's like to balance his job hosting The Soup with being my boyfriend, and, of course, Tyra:
"Her greatest fear in life is dolphins," he says. "How can you not make fun of that? And Tyra, I will continue to talk about you if you continue to talk about whore baths." He gets giddy explaining the term: "It's when you clean your armpits with a wet paper towel or baby wipes," he says. "She's said it like 20 times."
They also reveal that he wears red boxers. Joel continued his publicity tour yesterday with a visit to his victims Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb, who at the very least have more of a sense of humor about themselves than Tyra. Video here.
The Wendy Williams Show finally started its six week trial run this morning! Wendy's show joins The View and Kathie Lee's Today Show fourth hour in proving that the 10-11 am network time slot is permanently reserved for crazy women talking about whatever they want. Wendy's debut this morning was a bit disappointing in that she didn't make any serious live gaffes, but she did a segment where she explained her little catchphrases so viewers can understand what she means when she says stuff like "friends in my head." Wendy assures us that having famous "friends in your head" "doesn't mean you're crazy," but then she tells us about how Heather Locklear is her friend in her head because she has a child the same age as one of Wendy's miscarriages. And because Heather bought strip-malls in the '80s. I don't know either.
The Soup's unspeakably wonderful Joel McHale continues to insult Tyra Banks in every interview he does. Joel spoke at a film critics' meeting yesterday, whatever that is, and was at it again, poking at Tyra like it's a long-term plan for getting on her show:
Asked if he'd ever met Tyra Banks, he said, "I only have had contact with a few of her wigs. And they were in a band. They were on tour. No, I have not met Tyra. She is a foot-and-a-half taller than me, so I can't come face-to-face with her. But, no, I have not seen her yet. And I have no idea what she's going to do. I can't -- my guess is she'll start talking about herself."
Joel might be a little bit over-obsessed. Here's his most recent Soup rant about Tyra's miraculous ability to turn every conversation back to her favorite subject (and apparently, Joel's): herself.
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