These Monkeys Having A Pool Party Are Making Us Look The Fool
Here it is, early August, and I'm sitting in my office staring at a computer screen like an absolute IDIOT, while these monkeys (literally, they are monkeys) are having a fucking pool party? Ooh la la, look at me with my evolutionary advantages and my rational thought and my lack of a prehensile tail. Aren't I so great. CLEARLY I AM NOT. The summer is running through my fingers like the sands of a beach I still haven't been to this season, and meanwhile, these wonderful little guys are living life the way it was meant to be lived. Who is the savage beast now? We share 99 percent of our DNA with these guys, but apparently they have a bonus one percent FUN GENE. Unbelievable.
Gabe: 0
Monkeys: 1
(Via Arbroath.)
Posted by Gabe at 12:45 PM in Cute As Balls
Tags: Monkeys | Parties | Pool | Summertime
I'm pretty sure the margin is wider than that...
ZING!!!
Score = 14
Douch chillll
Score = -13
i'm pretty sure it's 97 percent, so not that much wider
Score = 0
I bet if you held their heads under as a joke they wouldn't seem so fun.
Score = 10
Mannnn... Why did they waste this on YouTube? This could have been the AFHV $2,000 grand prize winner.
Score = 17
"Break out the margaritas." Ugh. Fascist.
Score = 0
"Look at you: you're all wet! You're soaked!" - Me
"..." - Monkey
Score = 14
Diseases of Monkeys...seriously not sanitary.
Score = 1
There`s people on the street getting diseases from monkeys
Yeah that`s what I said, their getting diseases from monkeys
Whys this happening, please, whose been touching these monkeys
Leave these poor sick monkeys alone
There sick, they`ve got problems enough as it is
Score = 18
I'm so glad you posted that as your first post made me think of that song! What are you're overheads?!
Score = -3
The catch is: without people like you there would be no pool parties. Pools don't pay for themselves, you know? Maybe it's time that those ingrate monkeys stopped running crazy-circles around the pool all day and pitched in a little. At least chip in for the pool guy, right? I mean, monkey pool? Filthy.
Score = 8
Did everyone see da cake eatur trying to find his sister's clitoris on the diving board?
Score = -12
Monkeys took you to POOL SCHOOL.
Score = 11
Hopefully this will drive Gabe to the brink and he'll float out into the pool on a raft, hurling monkeys into the water like Klaus Kinski in Aguirre: The Wrath of Summer Fun.
Score = 5
What you wrote represents exactly how I feel about my summer Gabe. Thank you for this.
Score = 7
somebody tell these guys to quit "monkeying" around!
but seriously, i wonder if they would be more attracted to this regular pool or a pool covered in terry cloth?
Score = 5
I'm stuck in my office AND can't swim. No pool party, even if I wanted to.
Me: 0
Monkeys: 2
Score = 7
Is this from the Tucker Max movie?
(Sorry, monkeys! I don't mean it.)
Score = 8
I feel empowered by the gorilla paw that I keep as an oven mitt. Every time I think a primate has a leg up, I make muffins.
Score = 16
i cannot be sarcastic about this clip, as it is way too awesome. monkeys! swimming underwater! golden.
Score = 2
Monkeys gone to heaven.
I'm with Gabe, I need to get to the beach.
Score = 0
Where do these people live that they have like 10 monkeys hanging out their pool? Are they near a jungle, do they have 10 pet monkeys, is this Big Brother: Monkey Edition? Monkeys can never be trusted, stay vigilant.
Score = 10
Tarzana.
[Shoots self in face.]
Score = 0
truth, brother.
i went on vacation to bali and the monkeys in the sacred monkey forest were always sneaking up and trying to steal your stuff and they'd get mad at you and hiss at you and show their big teeth!
but then sometimes a mama monkey carried a teensy tiny baby monkey around while she foraged for treats. cute!
but still scary when they're sitting on your table, trying to take your coconut.
Score = 0
all i can think of is the unbeilevable amount of shit that is now in that pool
but really, so worth it.
Score = 1
"You are just going to LOVE this next one. It's a 2500 square foot colonial with 3 bedrooms and two baths situated on 1.5 acres and includes its own monkey pool. Yes, before you ask, the monkeys are included. The liability insurance is a bit pricey."
Score = 5
Why the hell aren't these people jumping in that pool and swimming with the monkeys? Seriously, how many chances do you get to swim with fucking monkeys? Life is fleeting, we could die tomorrow, and these ingrates are just standing by while a horde of monkeys are having the time of their lives? Break out the margaritas, indeed.
Score = 0
That's just like my backyard, except substitute children for monkeys, and they can't swim.
Score = 1
I''ve had it with these monkey-fightin' apes in my monday-to-friday pool.
Score = 0
First person to "remix" this by intercutting it with the Schmitt's Gay commercial wins.
Score = 0