How Is It That Every Cat On The Internet Is Cute?
Look, the Internet is basically the caternet. We know that. In the future, there won't be an infinite number of websites appealing to every niche of the human world. There will just be one website. And it will be a top 10 list of cute cats. Some of them wearing casts on their broken paws. But how is it that every cat on the internet is cute? Surely there have to be some cats that are not cute, but none of them are on the Internet. (They're probably in some catfugee camp somewhere, hiding.) Like look at this little guy. He has a 13-INCH ARROW STICKING OUT OF HIS HEAD. And yet, when you hear the reporter tell his harrowing story, all it sounds like is "awww awww awww, cute cute awww."
What a great attitude he has, right crazy lady who thinks cats have attitudes? Still, so cute, despite having a giant weapon sticking right through his fuzzy face! The Internet sees the world through cat-colored glasses. (Via HuffingtonPost.)
Posted by Gabe at 3:45 PM in Cute As Balls
Tags: Cats | Internet 1.0
When the voice over came on, I was like...Brian Fellows?
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HOLY hell this IS MY favorite POST ON this site EVER. This is FUCKIN adorable AS ALL FUCKIN HELL.
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Watching this based on the screenshot alone took an extra ounce of courage at first, then I was all "thank f*&% that cat's okay" and then the anger towards someone who'd actually shoot an arrow through a cat's head sank in and that leaves me disgusted - cats are cute, yes, people who do that, sick. If there's one thing I dislike about the interwebs the most, it's how readily available stories about animal abuse become and now i've gone all emo on the intended topic of "cute" - boo.
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I'm actually getting the feeling that it could have been a freak accident. Anyone trying to shoot an arrow through a cat's head was probably trying to kill it, and wouldn't have let it get away.
PS, I fucking hate cats, and the internet has only fueled my hatred for them. Go ahead and downvote me America, they are ungrateful little shit factories who wouldn't think twice about eating you if your sizes were switched.
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As you requested. DownVOTED. Happily. I heart cats.
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i'm so glad they read my mind and knew i wanted to see repeated close-ups of the wounds on the cat's head.
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Before the internet (WAS THERE SUCH A TIME??) I actually hated cats. I still don't think I've ever actually personally met a nice cat. They either want nothing to do with me or they always end up sitting next to me and staring directly into my eyes, like they're quietly imagining all the ways they could kill me. And then I go on the internet and all these cats look so adorable and sweet!
Is this just personal? Is there something about me that just pisses cats off?
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Maybe you're a vampire :o
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VAMPIRE! BURN IT!
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Well I do burn in the sunlight and have been alive for four hundred years.
But then again, it's not like I bite people's necks or anything, my dad just goes out and kills people and drains their blood for me to drink.
(love that movie, five star reference, apesofmath)
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Or was he her dad?! eh?! maybe he was like oskar thirty years ago! who knows! Intriguing! Sorry I liked that movie as well.
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yeah, i think he was the oskar, before oskar was her oskar.
also, what was up with her naughty bits? seriously, we discussed it for a long time afterwards and couldn't figure it out.
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yeah, something was definitely wrong there, right? vampires can't breed? i dunno.
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Read the Wikipedia entry for the movie; it explains what that was about (the movie is based on a book and some parts were left out). I don't wanna say, because you know, NO SPOILERZ.
Also, "Cat massage." Looks like that cat could use one.
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whoops i meant
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Dressing the poor little guy like King Tut would have been bad enough. But you've gone way too far, Hoosier Steve Martin fans. Way too far.
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charlyne yi doing her ET impression??!
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Am I being a pussy, or am I the only one who wants that screengrab moved after the jump (where it will land on its feet)? (Whoa! Hilarious cat jokez! But really. This makes me so :(.)
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Why would I want to see that? I've been trying to avoid the story all day, and here of all places, it catches up on me.
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aw man.. i agree.. i need 10,000cc's of :(.. stat!
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Wouah ce chat est dans une situation fâcheuse folle! Bonne chose il a une attitude positive et un visage mignon!
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Translation for all you non-French speakers out here: He says that he accidentally steps in cat shit 5 times a day and he's glad that somebody tried to kill that vile beast.
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I believed you and downvoted the A Frenchman! AW! I'm SORRY, A Frenchman! If I could turn back time...
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Nope. "That cat is in an unfortunate situation! Good thing it has a positive attitude and cute face!" Arrow in your head, KP.
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Q: What is this cat's favorite football stadium?
A: Arrowhead!
Thank you for your time.
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That headline combined with that picture made me LOL. But seriously, Sacred Mother of God, that is horrifying.
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Monsters.
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"I want chicken, I want liver, also, a bit of assistance with this arrow situation if you please."
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Made me Lots of Love even though this story is the saddest, most horrible thing I've seen in a while.
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Gabe, are you trying to say cats *don't* have attitudes? Because if so, hoo boy, do I have the comic strip for you.
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i feel like we're only getting half the story here. this cat could be a total asshole.
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Since AnAmPat isn't doing it, I will
What IN THE name OF CHRIST in HEAVEN is THAT? A BULL Jesus??
Wow. That was SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT than I expected. I wonder how he does it...
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i want to whip whoever shot the arrow at the cat on the genitals with that arrow and then kill them a bunch.
if there WAS a god, he would immediately kill anyone who hurt a kid or an animal on purpose. it's only fair. fuck karma and they'll end up in hell and whatever. no. have them die immediately and that solves the problem. that breaks the cycle. it would just be a glitch in the matrix. "whoops! all better now! carry on, guys!"
p.s. cats are way cuter when they don't live in your house all the time and step on whatever book you're in the middle of reading and get the zoomies in the middle of the night and leave hairballs for you in unexpected places. the internet is the perfect medium for appreciating cats.
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hehe.. zoomies.. i love it when my cat gets the zoomies.. though not so much on school nights..
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ZOOMIES!!!
i cry.... i cry.....
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SWEET CUPPIN' CAKES, GABE!! Some of us are totally PMSing right now and do NOT need to see pictures of adorable wittle kitties with ARROWS through their heads!! Just the picture alone has all of my lady emotions riled up!!
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I think the worst part of this was not the arrow through the cat's head, but rather the same Trojan condom commercial that bookended the clip, making the running time of the commercials longer than the clip itself. Whoever decided that should take an arrow through the head, Steve Martin style.
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A man who thinks that cats do not have attitudes has never met the asshole cats in my grandma's house.
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CANNOT WATCH! CANNOT WATCH!
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AAAAWWWW Battlescars AAAAWWWW
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At first I thought the small still showed a funny cat's idea of Halloween prankz. But that arrow is real :(
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BOOM! HEAD-SHOT!!!
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I think what Gabe meant was Catitude. (sorry)
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Hi, by looking at the arrow on the cat head I too was shocked for a while. How these cat owners treat such cute cat only to make their web presence. such activity should be strictly prohibited.
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Am I a bad person if I am much more emotionally affected when something terrible happens to a cat than with an actual human?
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Cool blog you got here. I'd like to read something more concerning that topic.
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