Videogum Home - designed by Guilherme Rosa

 

December 17, 2008

Fred Phelps Is Back To Make Us Wish Hell Existed Just For Him

thumbnail icon: Fred Phelps Is Back To Make Us Wish Hell Existed Just For Him

At this point, writing a diatribe about hating Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church is as pointless and absurd as Fred Phelps pretending his new Christmas video is about Santa, but I'm going to do it anyway in case there's one person who doesn't already use Fred Phelps as the #1 example of evil in America. Fred and family are back with their annual Christmas festival of hate, bad singing, and brainwashed offspring, with "Santa Claus Will Take You To Hell." Let us gaze upon it and let our hearts swell with the brotherhood we feel with every other person who can't wait to see the beautiful day when the Reverend's funeral is overtaken by joyous picketers:


(Via Socialcrisis.net Via Buzzfeed.) Normally, people this bad shouldn't be rewarded with attention, but Fred Phelps deserves our attention, because he exists as the physical embodiment of reverse psychology: even the most homophobic person has been known, when confronted with the reality of Fred Phelps as the face of their own bigotry, to say something like "Well that man is just pure evil." I bet even Elisabeth Hasselbeck hates Fred Phelps to the depth of her tiny black willfully ignorant heart. If everyone in the world just came together and put all their hate-feelings on Fred Phelps, the way the world came together against the aliens in Independence Day, the world would be a better place. At the very least, his Wikipedia page should be the top Google hit for Worst Person In The World instead of John Fitzgerald Page.

Posted by Lindsay at 2:00 PM in
Tags:  |




25 Comments

I can't decide if I should press play or not.

Posted by: Beefy profile link at 12/17/08 2:24 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Wandicorn

Don't do it. It made me want to kidnap those children so they wouldn't have to sing that song anymore. If any children need to be kidnapped for their own good, it's those ones (guys, kidnapping is the solution to the world's problems).

Posted by: Wandicorn profile link in reply to Beefy's comment at 12/17/08 2:50 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
iamsosorry

My, what pleasant husky voices those old hatemongers have.
Also, SNL needs to call Westboro to see who writes for them.
The large, conservative Baptist church I was raised in was once protested by the Westboro folks for being too liberal (note: there is no way that was happening.) They were really mad that we had a tacit policy that allowed homosexuals to come sit and hear that they were in sin. What Westboro wanted (obvs) was more of a guard dog at the church door policy (also obvs).

Posted by: iamsosorry profile link at 12/17/08 2:31 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
I PEE GOLD

"Fag X-MAS"
HAHAHAHA, Is there anything these people don't hate?

Posted by: I PEE GOLD profile link at 12/17/08 3:07 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Darren87

While I think the text of the "Fag Santa" sign is funnier, that illustration for "Fag Christmas" can't be beat.

Posted by: Darren87 profile link in reply to I PEE GOLD's comment at 12/17/08 3:58 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

This man makes me physically ill. I'm not particularly religious, but I do believe that somewhere, sometime, some God will have his/her justice with this cretin. I only wish we could be there to watch.

Posted by: Stella at 12/17/08 3:12 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I think unrelated conservative groups should just go ahead and apologize to the rest of America for this, acknowledging that getting all pissed off about homosexuality and abortions (et al.) only breeds further, more dyed-in-the-wool wackjob antics.

Posted by: Chadams at 12/17/08 3:12 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

This is the first time I wished I owned a gun.

Posted by: y at 12/17/08 3:46 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Ugh. That made me feel sick in the pit of my stomach. Poor kids, being raised to hate like that.

Posted by: El Zilcho profile link at 12/17/08 3:56 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Comedy gold.

Posted by: Michael at 12/17/08 4:04 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

"You will eat your children"? What's that all about?

Posted by: Adam at 12/17/08 4:12 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I saw the title of this post and then the lede and I was all about to write a thing saying you should be quiet because the B-52's are actually amazing but I realized I'm dumb.

Posted by: Max Silvestri profile link at 12/17/08 4:13 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
grace6697

i thought it was about Michael Phelps at first so you're not alone.

Posted by: grace6697 profile link in reply to Max Silvestri's comment at 12/18/08 12:54 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

"Santa Claus will rape your kids at night?!" What the fuck? He is real?

Posted by: Colby profile link at 12/17/08 4:51 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

FAG SANTA! LOLZ! SANTA-DEVIL PORN!

Everyone in this video needs to be sent to attention whore jail with Anne Coulter and everyone on The Gossip Hills: OC.

Posted by: Jay at 12/17/08 5:06 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

i know this is a really esoteric issue, but what really confuses me is the effort they put into syncopating the triplet phrases in the music. its not in the music, and it makes me feel wierd that not only did some member of the church knew enough about jazz and choral music to add the technique, but he felt it was necessary enough to add numerous times, and obviously make them PRACTICE the fucking thing, because there's no way anyone knew what they were doing.

plus i wouldn't God Hate Jazz or something?

Posted by: jacob at 12/17/08 5:36 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

They have been doing this for years. I first saw them with a "Fag Santa" sign 6 years ago when my wife and I went to Topeka Kansas to have Thanksgiving with my Grandparents. The day after they were all over the place picketing stores with black friday sales with "fag santa" signs.
A couple years ago they also picketed my grandmother's funeral. Well, not specifically, they were at the church my Grandparents attended to protest women or puppies or something, and it just happened to be on the day of her funeral. So they stood outside and yelled stuff about god hating everything. It was an interesting ambiance for a funeral.

Posted by: subtle at 12/17/08 9:29 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

they have nice voices, thanks.

Posted by: thumper at 12/17/08 9:32 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I'll be directing a production of Paul Rudnick's "The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told" as part of an annual AIDs benefit this coming June. It is our fervent hope that Westboro gets wind of the show and comes to protest. Oh, the glorious publicity they will generate for us!

Posted by: Brian at 12/18/08 12:14 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

The Phelps Family Singers ARE the ending to THE WATCHMEN.

Posted by: thedarkbackward at 12/18/08 9:43 AM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

i was 10 feet away from fred phelps & co. when he protested my friends funeral. the police had to guard them so there weren't riots. BUHLEE DAT!

Posted by: joe at 12/18/08 1:36 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Garmanbozia

Brother, I think you're entitled to beat the snot out of Phelps & Co if they protest your friend's funeral. I would congratulate you for doing so. The person that finally does come along and send Phelps to hell will be a national hero.

Posted by: Garmanbozia profile link in reply to joe's comment at 12/22/08 4:00 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Garmanbozia

Further on your "Independence Day" coming together: maybe we could just get Will Smith to personally put Phelps in an early grave. No jury in the world would convict Will Smith.

Posted by: Garmanbozia profile link at 12/22/08 3:56 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

My first exposure to Fred Phelps' group was about 12 years ago when I visited a relative in Topeka. They were picketing at the zoo entrance with their "God Hates Fags" signs. As we drove by, I rolled down my window and said to them "God loves you!" and they waved to me. Then I added "Even though you're all full of shit!"

Posted by: Old_Davy at 12/23/08 3:35 AM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I think these guys hate everybody and everything because I still don't know why they're convinced that the soldiers dying overseas are making God laugh. They came to Ohio earlier this year to protest a church for being too lenient towards gays...but that church was staunchly against gays, so they end up being the PETA of the religious world; doing it for the publicity.

Posted by: SailorAlphaCentauri at 12/23/08 4:59 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Leave a comment


Staff

  • Founder/Editor-In-Chief: Scott Lapatine
  • Senior Editor: Gabe Delahaye
  • Executive Editor: Amrit Singh

Info

Contact

You Can Make It Up logo
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.

You Can Make It Up: Rip Torn Gambles On The Puppy Bowl

Rip Torn's eyes would barely open and his face was a ravaged, haggard, stubbly mess. His chapped lips stuck together, and the pavement had left a red, mottled impression against his cheek. He looked around blearily, barely able to focus...

MORE »

The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time logo
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.

The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Serendipity

You know, the truth is, I actually like romantic comedies. I am man enough to admit that. We all would love to live in a world of love and friendship and gentle laughter. Why not? You think I want it...

MORE »

Monsters' Ball logo
This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.

Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments

In the future, when the ultra-light telepathic super-mecha, derived from the core technology of the Cybertronics "Real Boys" line of love children, are sifting through the ice wastes for any remnants of the long extinct human race that once created...

MORE »

Double Dog logo
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.

Double Dog: I Took A TV Bus Tour Alone In A "Just Jack" Tshirt

The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...

MORE »

Videogum Movie Club logo
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.

The Videogum Movie Club: Avatar

"Whoa." --Kebanu Roves It is weird that you can't do things normally in New York sometimes. Like, I'm so sorry that I ate an early dinner before going to see Avatar on Friday night the way that a HUMAN BEING...

MORE »