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July 17, 2009

A History Of The Floppy Sack Mask, America's Scariest Mask

thumbnail icon: A History Of The Floppy Sack Mask, America's Scariest Mask

Yesterday, Empire posted a new trailer for a horror movie called Triangle. You can watch it here. It looks pretty scary! The plot seems to be that a bunch of yuppies sail their sailboat into Scott Wolf's White Squall and when they come out on the other side they are in the Bermuda Triangle, and that's where they discover the Ghost Ship. Careful, that Ghost Ship is full of ghosts! Then it's all stab you in the face this, shoot you in the face that, and if you see a black cat twice it's a glitch in The Matrix. People be going out of their minds up in this Ghost Ship!

I don't know. Go watch the trailer, you'll figure it out.

But one thing that is also in that trailer is a murderer wearing a floppy sack mask. Oh man, FLOPPY SACK MASKS ARE THE SCARIEST MASKS.

After the jump, a brief history of the floppy sack mask*:

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)

The first recorded (?) floppy sack mask. Hopefully this is one of those trends that will never take off. Like the catchphrase "Mazel."

Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)

The floppy sack mask's first appearance on TV. LET US HOPE IT IS THE LAST.

Friday the 13th, Part Two (1981)

Yikes. Two floppy sack masks in one year is TOO SCARY! Take that floppy sack mask off, you creep! Get yourself a respectable hockey mask, like a gentleman.

[Ed. Note: the 1990s are a period of economic growth and relative peace in the United States. They are also a period of NO FLOPPY SACK MASKS.]

Batman Begins (2005)

Ahhhh! They're back! This one is not that scary though. Careful, floppy sack mask, Batman is going to beat your butt! And anyway, we had 24 years to recover from the last floppy sack mask.

The Orphanage (2007)

No. No no no no no. The floppy sack mask has JUMPED THE POND. In Spain they are called el masks del floppy sackos. Strangely, that silly name does not make them any less TERRIFYING. Especially because the Spanish seem to have no problems with putting horrifying floppy sack masks on CHILDREN, which only increases their HORRIFYINGNESS.

The Strangers (2008)

By 2008, floppy sack masks were appearing at an exponential rate. Here is the modern floppy sack mask as seen in The Strangers. As you can see, the modern floppy sack mask is just as upsetting as the floppy sack mask has always been, that is the indelible, unchanging misery of the floppy sack mask.

Triangle (2009)

Scientists predict that by 2012, if the world is not covered in water, which it will be, every movie will feature a floppy sack mask.

I hate you, floppy sack masks.

*It is possible that I have missed some examples of floppy sack masks through time. If so, please email these examples (with photographic evidence, if possible) at gabe@videogum.com. I am hoping to make this America's most complete history of the floppy sack mask. For our children.

Posted by Gabe at 12:30 PM in
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60 Comments

I bet the killers are smelling potatoes the whole time, and they're all like, "Man, so many potato smells up in my nostril's smellbuds."

Yeah, they scare me too.

Posted by: J at 07/17/09 12:39 PM  | Reply
Score = 63 Vote up Vote down

In France they are called Les Masques des Floppes

Posted by: shmooner profile link at 07/17/09 12:40 PM  | Reply
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Les Masques aux Floppes

Posted by: Marie Antoinette: 2 French 2 Furious profile link  in reply to  shmooner's comment at 07/18/09 5:51 AM  | Reply
Score = 18 Vote up Vote down

As much as I want to rag (ha!) on floppy sack masks, I know that if I saw someone in my general vacinity wearing one (standing motionless for effect!), I'd would run away in the least dignified fashion possible.

Posted by: marktron profile link at 07/17/09 12:41 PM  | Reply
Score = 66 Vote up Vote down

ohhhh, you have to cut eye holes in them.

Posted by: .Nick profile link at 07/17/09 12:43 PM  | Reply
Score = 42 Vote up Vote down

You forgot about the most famous real life instance: The Zodiac Killer.
Sure, the sack isn't floppy, but he manages to walk the line between hilarious and completely balls-to-the-wall terrifying quite nicely.

Posted by: dafs profile link at 07/17/09 12:43 PM  | Reply
Score = 28 Vote up Vote down

I can't decide if the sunglasses make him more or less terrifying.....
Though, they definitely make him cooler. Like the 7UP Cool Spot. Relevant.

Posted by: Radi0Waves profile link  in reply to  dafs's comment at 07/17/09 12:53 PM  | Reply
Score = 23 Vote up Vote down

The woman says "When i have a bad dream I close my eyes and think of something happy." Does she sleep with her eyes open? Or does she sleep with one eye open because things are so scary?

Posted by: some.awesome.awe profile link at 07/17/09 12:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down

I hope there is at least one more instance for the "Floppy Sack Masks" tag to be used in the future.

Posted by: Carrie profile link at 07/17/09 12:52 PM  | Reply
Score = 21 Vote up Vote down

I'm an adult, but when the boy came out wearing the Floppy Sack Mask in The Orphanage, a little bit of pee came out. That's true.

Posted by: Sassy Molassy profile link at 07/17/09 12:58 PM  | Reply
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Thanks for sharing

Posted by: Andy profile link  in reply to  Sassy Molassy's comment at 07/17/09 1:10 PM  | Reply
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Don't they make a pill that brings that stiffness and turgor back to these sack masks? You know, for SMD (Sack Mask Dysfunction).
Viagra jokes, you guys.

Posted by: Mitchapalooza profile link at 07/17/09 1:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Do Dumb Donald and Cobra Commander count? Probably not.

Posted by: Jeb profile link at 07/17/09 1:01 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

The Elephant Man, duh.

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid profile link at 07/17/09 1:01 PM  | Reply
Score = 18 Vote up Vote down

David Lynch can make a single hole in a burlap bag creepy.

Posted by: Tooom profile link  in reply to  RobinRubbermaid's comment at 07/17/09 1:14 PM  | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down

"The Town That Dreaded Sundown" 1976

Posted by: creature Feature at 07/17/09 1:02 PM  | Reply
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Posted by: Mabuk at 07/17/09 1:04 PM  | Reply
Score = 98 Vote up Vote down

To be fair, I've always considered "Batman Begins" to be a deconstruction of the floppy sack mythos. In that Scarecrow puts it on, and everyone is all like "That's not scary, that's dumb, you fey little freak." And then Scarecrow blasts them with the Jesus-juice, and then that floppy sack starts BLOWING MINDS.

Posted by: El Bombastico at 07/17/09 1:07 PM  | Reply
Score = 24 Vote up Vote down

For me, the true power of Scarecrow lies not in his floppy sack mask or in his juice, but in Cillian Murphy's blue eyes of doom.

Posted by: Lux profile link  in reply to  El Bombastico's comment at 07/17/09 2:44 PM  | Reply
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Posted by: TheRealMatt profile link at 07/17/09 1:08 PM  | Reply
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Posted by: TheRealMatt profile link  in reply to  TheRealMatt 's comment at 07/17/09 1:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 92 Vote up Vote down

Holy crap, that's actually kind of terrifying.

Posted by: .bryan. profile link  in reply to  TheRealMatt 's comment at 07/17/09 2:01 PM  | Reply
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more of a sack lunch mask than a sack mask.

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link at 07/17/09 1:10 PM  | Reply
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and i fail at html code. i was trying to post this picture.
http://www.suprememanagement.com/being/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/baghead.png

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link  in reply to  kathleen11's comment at 07/17/09 1:16 PM  | Reply
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Yeah, I was going to mention "Baghead"-- it starts out as a kind of parody of this whole idea, where friends are writing a horror movie in which the villain wears a stupid brown bag on his head.... but turns out that shit can be just as scary as a floppy sack mask, too! (Though, maybe not THIS particular screengrab :) )

Posted by: hopeleslie profile link  in reply to  kathleen11's comment at 07/17/09 1:29 PM  | Reply
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And then there's the alien from Signs.

Posted by: Edith profile link at 07/17/09 1:14 PM  | Reply
Score = 63 Vote up Vote down


As a child, I was always scared by this foreboding figure. Fortunately, it could be vanquished if a B-level sitcom star furiously struck a large copper plate.

Posted by: El Bombastico at 07/17/09 1:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

Oogie Boogie is a walking, talking floppy sack mask:

counter,

Posted by: dezien profile link at 07/17/09 1:27 PM  | Reply
Score = 49 Vote up Vote down

Posted by: Lakonislate profile link at 07/17/09 1:29 PM  | Reply
Score = 129 Vote up Vote down

Well, Resident Evel 4 isn't a movie (YET), but let's not forget Dr. Salvador. Before you can even finish emptying your bladder at his floppy sackedness, he's chainsawed your head clean off. Plus he makes upsetting noises.

Posted by: spazmo profile link at 07/17/09 1:29 PM  | Reply
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And that would be Evil, not Evel. I've got my floppy sacks mixed up with my crash helmets.

Posted by: spazmo profile link at 07/17/09 1:36 PM  | Reply
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Posted by: Kenny Powers profile link at 07/17/09 1:39 PM  | Reply
Score = 57 Vote up Vote down

Clive Barker's Nightbreed had a good floppy sack mask, too.

Posted by: rtpout at 07/17/09 1:48 PM  | Reply
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En Español, se les dice mascara de saco flojo. Tambien, el señor Dave me saco el pipi.

Posted by: Martin at 07/17/09 2:01 PM  | Reply
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Translation for all you non-Spanish speakers out there: He says he got tea bagged by a guy named Dave right in the pipi.

Posted by: Kenny Powers profile link  in reply to  Martin's comment at 07/17/09 2:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 33 Vote up Vote down

Hell in that Tim Burton movie 9, the characters ARE floppy sack masks. And if you wanted to expand to video games, there's Sackboy in Little Big Planet.

Posted by: DrinkPlanner profile link at 07/17/09 2:04 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

The floppy sack mask that scares me the most is definitely from the Orphanage. Something about the grandma makeup, burlap and yarn curls (why the yarn curls?) that gives me the willies.

Posted by: Bad tings ah gwan profile link at 07/17/09 2:07 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

I think Magritte did the first floppy sack mask. And fucking - WHAT IS THIS PAINTING. Other than your boyfriend AND girlfriend.

Posted by: chickchick profile link at 07/17/09 2:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 57 Vote up Vote down

Good call! I think this is my favorite Videogum comment ever.

Posted by: Blondie profile link  in reply to  chickchick's comment at 07/17/09 2:33 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I hate to make this joke into a downer, but Magritte actually had a sort of real-life floppy sack mask horror - his mother drowned when he was a child, and was found with her nightgown draped over her face, and that's largely believed to be the inspiration for his paintings of couples embracing like this.

Doesn't it make the image that much more fucked up, and yet poignant? Anyways, forget it and go back to the laffs!

Posted by: rachel  in reply to  chickchick's comment at 07/17/09 6:25 PM  | Reply
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i feel like this should count:

Posted by: Becca profile link at 07/17/09 2:12 PM  | Reply
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Ziss subject iss very intriguing to me! I'm really thinking about what makes this mask so terrifying, and I think it's that there is nothing but horrific intent to it. Nothin schnazzy, you don't have to go down to the mask store ("what about this one? no? you don't like it? I kind of like it.") You just go into the barn (barns are terrifying!), get a sack, cut eye holes, and let your pathological murdering insanity do the rest. That is scary as fuck!

Posted by: Blondie profile link at 07/17/09 2:29 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

I think I know where to get the fanciest ones.

Posted by: Manvnature profile link  in reply to  Blondie's comment at 07/17/09 2:46 PM  | Reply
Score = 49 Vote up Vote down

You. SLAY. Me. You rly do.

Posted by: Blondie profile link  in reply to  Manvnature's comment at 07/17/09 2:51 PM  | Reply
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It slipped!

Posted by: ClownCoffee profile link at 07/17/09 2:38 PM  | Reply
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LMAO! That is some funny shit.

Posted by: Blondie profile link  in reply to  ClownCoffee's comment at 07/17/09 3:07 PM  | Reply
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Walker

Posted by: thenaritaline profile link at 07/17/09 2:42 PM  | Reply
Score = -46 Vote up Vote down

I really don't get it!
Also, I don't want to be the guy that is spoiling all the floppy mask fun around here, but posting pictures of people with their actual face is just kinda mean!

Posted by: Aaron profile link  in reply to  thenaritaline's comment at 07/17/09 4:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

You can already tell this movie will have a terrible twist ending where the guy in the sleeveless shirt turns out to be the sack head guy... yawn

Posted by: Professor Push-Ups profile link at 07/17/09 2:48 PM  | Reply
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The Zodiac killer's floppy sack mask was nice, as far as floppy sack masks go. He chose a nice fabric that matched his suit - it was like the Gucci sack mask of sack masks. He wasn't all haphazard, deciding on the way home from the general store that he was going to kill someone, and he'd need a mask. He wasn't smelling potatoes.

Posted by: Ms. New Jersey at 07/17/09 3:55 PM  | Reply
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There also happens to be some in open range.

Posted by: Andy at 07/17/09 5:17 PM  | Reply
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There also happens to be some in open range.

Posted by: Andy at 07/17/09 5:17 PM  | Reply
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Something I really like about myself is how I was watching an episode of Psych on Hulu a few weeks ago. In the episode (315, it's still on Hulu and, no, I'm not going to screen cap this shit) they semi-parody all horror movies and the stereotypical scary bad guy has a floppy sack mask on!

Posted by: leenie profile link at 07/17/09 7:10 PM  | Reply
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well. it's about time you acknowledged our children gabe. they miss you!

j/k. please don't vote me down.

Posted by: eve at 07/18/09 6:41 AM  | Reply
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I'm not Professor Francais over here (because let's face it I am completely lacking in my baguette, striped shirt, and beret... although I do have one of those tiny tiny mustaches) but isn't aux incorrect? Let's set aside the fact that floppes is a totally invented word for minimal comedic value, but isn't "les masques aux floppes" translated as "masks in flops" whereas "les masques des floppes" is more roughly translated as "the masks of flops?" It's been forever since I participated in the the french canadian grammar rodeo. And on a completely unrelated side not because this is my attempt at making this the absolute longest post because I that nerdtastic... but how do I get funny little pictures next to my comments?

Posted by: shmooner profile link at 07/20/09 12:30 PM  | Reply
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There is a sackhead bad guy in a horror movie coming out called The Collector...I had assumed that's what inspired this post. There's also a Spanish movie called TimeCrimes that has a spooky bandaged head guy (almost the same).

Posted by: duder at 07/20/09 12:43 PM  | Reply
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Posted by: abby r. profile link at 07/20/09 8:42 PM  | Reply
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I'm sorry (not really) but every time you post I have to roll over your avatar and go AWWWWW. Please tell me that is your kitty, and that is your pink scarf and pink knit hat. Just let me have the fantasy.

Posted by: Blondie profile link  in reply to  abby r.'s comment at 07/21/09 5:25 PM  | Reply
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yeah timecrimes is great and this is out next week

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10011524-collector/pictures/3.php#highlighted_picture

Posted by: gimme at 07/22/09 8:05 PM  | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

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