Charlie Sheen Wants To Give You $$$ To Pretend He Is Normal
Do you guys remember Charlie Sheen's bonkers 9/11 fan fiction? Of course you do. Because you printed it out and bound it in leather, and embossed the cover with gold-leaf lettering that reads "Most Important Fiction." That shit was insane, though. Everyone knows that. Doctors were like "Let me give you my diagnosis for free just this once, because I would feel bad taking your money to tell you the obvious: he is a crazy person." Well now he wants you to pretend like he's not a crazy person for the chance to win $14,000 (basically the most money ever, probably) by making a video in which you DRAMATIZE the fan fiction's purported conversation between CHARLIE SHEEN and BARACK OBAMA on the subject of the government's (conspiracy-theorist-endorsed) failure in investigating the true causes behind 9/11! One lucky winner will get $14,000 and the pride of knowing they at least tried to legitimize Charlie Sheen's apparent mental illness!
This is a real thing that is happening! And people be submittin'! Here are a couple of my favorites (SO FAR! I don't want to count out any late entries):
I love how seriously that last one takes itself. Like, that guy is for real doing an Obama impersonation? To the point where he was probably selected through an actual casting process? Good work, everyone. You're all winners in my book. The book, incidentally, is called CRAZY PEOPLE: AN ALPHABETICAL LIST. Thanks for the tip, Julian.)
Posted by Gabe at 1:00 PM in Contests, Fan Art
Tags: Barack Obama | Charlie Sheen | Fan Fiction | September 11th | Yikes
Oh COME ON Sheen.
Score = 24
Is there anything you DON'T have a gif for?
Score = 30
Score = 68
Ahhh...Kristin Wiig "bitch face" will always get an upvote from me.
Do y'all remember the A-holes? That's how I fell in love with her and Sudeikis.
Score = 5
i'm really curious, what's your day job? how are you pulling these constantly?
Score = 7
I'm an English professor, which means I've got a lot of hours at my office or between classes and meetings to check vgum. It's not that I'm not busy (I'm teaching 18 credit hours this semester!); it's just that I've got a lot of little moments I can check in.
Score = 5
Do you find it ironic that you are an English professor who mostly communicates through gifs? Are we your brief respite from Wordworld?
Score = 26
Gifs speak louder than words, as I tell my students (I never tell my students that)
Score = 26
Your class is where I want to fill my brain with special things.
Score = 5
it makes me sad that the only black kid in the classroom is throwing shit at the substitute. granted, i haven't seen this whole episode of "Chuck Norris: Karate Kid", so maybe he teaches the OTHER kids a lesson? about themselves?
Score = 9
Two can play at that game, sir!/madam!
Score = 8
One day I will find the perfect gif and then I will get all the upvotes and everyone will have to be my friend. Gabe will come to my birthday party. Lady Gaga will write a song about me called and Charlie Sheen will wrap himself in ribbons and give me "himself".
Score = 9
One day I will learn how to make gifs appear.
Seriously, I have no idea what I'm doing. I thought "embedding" was what Roman Polanski did to 13 year olds.
Score = 17
sooo i don't usually post but... if i don't say this now then when? werttrew i love you. i've loved you for a long time now.. i just don't want to look back 10 - 20 years from now and wonder what if?
PS: i measure love by lolz and ingenious gifs
Score = 4
Score = 8
i was hoping this was going to say 'charlie sheen wants to give you herpes.'
Score = 5
He does?! *Blush
Score = 9
Charlie Sheen is really helping to legitimize the Truther Movement...
Score = 3
When you've got a "movement" that consists almost entirely of complete dumbfucks, you really are inviting a leader like Charlie Sheen.
Score = 7
This headline just snapped me out of my bad mood.
Score = 3
The fine print rules include the caveat that by accepting the $14,000 you agree to let Charlie Sheen snort cocaine off a hooker's ass in front of you.
(That was a thing he did, right? I mean, obviously he did.)
Score = 10
I haven't been this confused since I saw Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa on a lunch date.
Score = 2
You should write for Family Guy.
Score = 32
:-(
Score = 27
Charlie needs to stop wasteing our time and go make Hot Shots 3. Maybe he knows that's the only reason we keep him alive.
Score = 6
Man some PEOPLE ARE JUST fuckin PSYCHO-ASS attention SEEKERS. Fuckin DISGRACEFUL, y'all KNOW?
Score = 0
The one with Franklin should win.
Score = 24
If you really wanted to get Charlie Sheen's vote on this, you'd act this out with a couple of RealDolls.
Score = 9
I like how the first video utilizes occupational forces in its belabored telephone game styled Truthing. Nice work, Saboteur.
Score = 1
Plus, having characters from The Sims act out the dialogues adds a whole new layer of realism to it.
Score = 7
Videogum is Google's top search result for "Barack Obama is Charlie Sheen's boyfriend," "Charlie Sheen loves slash fanfiction," and "Charlie Sheen makes shit up." Things to be proud of, Gabe!
Score = 16
I THINK we should ALL SUBMIT AN official VIDEOGUM entry TO THIS contest!
EVERYONE GATHER your boyfriends! AND WHOEVER'S dad that WAS IN THE A/V ROOM! ALSO, we'll NEED you and YOU. Let's NOT BRING that one sex OFFENDER guy though.
C'MON, Y'ALL let's fuckin PAINT, EXERCISE, and make a
DAMN MOVIE for MARTIN Sheen.
Score = 16
I am honestly not sure if I am disappointed or relieved that this was not made part of the Videogum Everywhere movement.
Score = 6
The $14,000 comes from money Charlie Sheen stole from hookers.
Score = 4
I am going to make one starring an Obama bobble-head doll and an old Jurassic Park action figure. The voices will be performed by the Mac's text-to-speech program. Obama will be the Pipe Organ" singing voice while Charlie Sheen will be played by the "Bad News" undertaker voice.
What should I do with my 14,000 dollars guys?
Score = 14
FUND THE fuck out OF THIS film.
Score = 2
Use it for a down payment on some retail space for your new Genius Ideas store.
Score = 7
I truly hope that the government can sense the irony with which I'm watching these as it tracks my youtube history.
Score = 9
Obviously I am going to enter and win this thing.
Score = 4
Jeff Dunham, Jr. needs to work on his "Charlie Sheen voice" a little more.
Score = 2
when they say to reenact the "open letter" they mean "gabe's fan-fiction" right? because i want that.
Score = 2
Did you know that mastering audio levels for crackpot redneck-narrated conspiracy movies starring Sims is totally optional? Pass it along!
Score = 2
You all seem to be taking this in stride.
Score = 3
The Crank Yankers one would have been better if they could have gotten Tracy Morgan to do the President's voice.
Score = 1
I've never seen anything so perfectly depict the birth of a conspiracy theory than that first video.
Score = 1
Somebody just have Christopher Walken record the thing as a monologue and claim your $14k (all in one dollar bills, btw) already.
Score = 0
I think you could just take gabe's fanfic and run it through http://www.xtranormal.com/, and be set for life. So long as your life is very cheap, particularly considering that you'll have to split the 14K with Gabe. It's only polite, after all.
Score = 1
I think they based an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" on this whole thing: "Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass."
Score = 4
Rock, Flag and EAGLE.
Score = 1
Man, the guy in the last video has one helluva Barack Obama impression. But he does not own a suit.
Score = 2
gabe: double dog
Score = 2
All of these entries easily cost at least $15,000, so it's not about the money.
Score = 0