I am excited to announce, in partnership with our sister site, stereogum.com, the opening of this year's Gummy Awards ballot boxes. It is time once again to come together as a family and determine through the democratic (sort of) process what our majority-rule favorite things in this world are at least at the moment. Again this year, in addition to Stereogum's music categories, we have some pretty exciting Videogum-related categories to vote on:
Best Movie
Best TV Show
Best Web Video
Neat! We were going to offer a "Best Kiss" category, but apparently MTV has trademarked that important award. Probably. I don't actually know whether or not the "Best Kiss" category is a trademark owned by MTV, but I do know that it is a ridiculous category for an award, and that MTV doesn't even make any sense anymore. It's a channel about stupid people? And the M stands for MySpace? I don't know.
Do you guys remember Charlie Sheen's bonkers 9/11 fan fiction? Of course you do. Because you printed it out and bound it in leather, and embossed the cover with gold-leaf lettering that reads "Most Important Fiction." That shit was insane, though. Everyone knows that. Doctors were like "Let me give you my diagnosis for free just this once, because I would feel bad taking your money to tell you the obvious: he is a crazy person." Well now he wants you to pretend like he's not a crazy person for the chance to win $14,000 (basically the most money ever, probably) by making a video in which you DRAMATIZE the fan fiction's purported conversation between CHARLIE SHEEN and BARACK OBAMA on the subject of the government's (conspiracy-theorist-endorsed) failure in investigating the true causes behind 9/11! One lucky winner will get $14,000 and the pride of knowing they at least tried to legitimize Charlie Sheen's apparent mental illness!
This is a real thing that is happening! And people be submittin'! Here are a couple of my favorites (SO FAR! I don't want to count out any late entries):
OK, I've got a last minute costume idea, you guys, but it's only going to work if we ALL do it (and by all I mean everyone in the entire world. Even Europe.) From People:
The son of legendary pitchman Billy Mays, who died in June, has an unlikely message for those macabre souls who plan to dress up as his father for Halloween: Go for it!
Billy Mays III, who recently launched a Web site called Where's Billy Mays? to honor his father's legacy, has even decided to hold a Hallow-clean Contest in which he's asking people to send in photos of themselves dressed as his dad for Halloween. He'll select three winners to receive various Billy Mays goodies as prizes.
While some might see the contest as inappropriate, even tasteless, Mays's consistent message on his Web site is that people shouldn't take everything so seriously, particularly themselves.
Whoa. Easy with the editorializing, People. Some might see the contest as inappropriate, even tasteless? That is not the clear-eyed, objective journalism I have come to expect from People magazine. Just present the facts and somehow make them relate back to Jennifer Aniston's love life like you always do, please. Besides, if anything, the contest isn't as inappropriate and tasteless as the name of that website. Where's Billy Mays? He is in heaven. Because he died. Dot com.
But who are we to judge how Billy Mays III reacts to the loss of his father? Who are we to say what is or is not appropriate or tasteful?
Do you know what it is? It is October, that is what it is. And at the end of October is when the Halloween occurs. I'm not showing off, I'm just stating the FACTS. Halloween is October 31st, look it up.
This year, we would like to offer one lucky Videogum reader the perfect (perfect?) Halloween costume: a Kate Gosselin wig. "But Gabe, Kate Gosselin has since changed her hairstyle. This is no longer relevant and I will be the laughingstock of my entire Halloween Party." Oh, relax! For one thing, everyone will KNOW what you are supposed to be (emphasis on the "what"), which is more than half, perhaps three-quarters, of the battle. And in any case, Halloween is stupid.
So, in order to win the prize of a Kate Gosselin Halloween wig (wardrobe not included, but just wear your normal everyday clothes, probably) we are running a special contest To enter: submit your own Kate Gosselin fan fiction. The winning post will be republished as a You Can Make It Up post on Videogum, and the winner will receive their very own Kate Gosselin wig. How exciting!
Entries must be e-mailed to tips@videogum.com (no attachments!) by Monday 10/12 at 6PM EST.
Another "great" freakout from the "world's greatest freakout" kid.
Nope! Here's the thing: this kid's videos are obviously fake. We know that, and we been had knowing that for awhile. And these freakouts are OK (although in this latest freakout, he keeps his shirt on the whole time and never once puts a remote control in his butt, which is not the caliber of freakout I have come to expect from him) but I doubt they are the world's greatest. If, as we have established, these freakouts are fake, then surely they should be better. It's one thing to catch a less-than-great freakout on tape when it is real, but if it is fake then the freakout should be extraordinary.
That is why I am inviting you, the Internet, to submit your world's greatest freakouts. I'm sure we can beat this kid. He's barely even trying anymore. The rules after the jump:
The Forbes list of 100 celebrities was released today, and Angelina Jolie is number one, and supposedly that means something. From the Hollywood Reporter:
Angelina Jolie is now the most powerful celebrity in the world, taking the No. 1 spot on Forbes' 2009 Celebrity 100 list, which ranks stars from the film, TV, music and sports worlds based on entertainment-related earnings as well as exposure in the media.
This pushes Oprah Winfrey, who held the top spot for two consecutive years, down to No. 2 on a list dominated by females.
Being in the spotlight throughout the past 12 months brought Jolie to the top of the list. However, Winfrey remains the highest-paid, earning $275 million over the past year, compared with Jolie's $27 million.
Huh? I already didn't get it, and then they tried to explain it and I more didn't get it. Being in the spotlight throughout the past 12 months makes Jolie the most powerful? She has lazer-cannons for eyes now or something? Her grip is like a vice and her hair has the tensile strength of a spider's web? Seriously, I don't understand. At least Oprah has a highly-watched television show through which she broadcasts and explores her ideas and opinions on a daily basis. She has (and uses) the capacity to influence her viewers' spending choices, reading choices, charitable notions, and instantly bestow increased celebrity on the guests she choses. That is a sort of power. Angelina Jolie was in Wanted, and she was terrible. I know that she went on a tour of the U.N. cafeteria once or something, but come on. Barack Obama is #49? This list was literally put together by making a cat wander over a field of 100 names on a living room carpet. Play yourself off, living room randomizer cat.
A very stupid young lady by the name of Miss California ruffled judge Perez Hilton's feathers at the Miss USA Pageant this weekend with her nonsensical answer to a question about gay marriage (as opposed to "opposite marriage.") Seeing Perez's face fall when the contestant explains that where she comes from, they want to deny basic rights to others, "no offense," is a confusing experience. Perez then took to YouTube to make his feelings known.
Some stupid rich person with no life will be spending a lot of money for what will surely be an awkward, brief, unsatisfying lunch for two with Mad Men's dreamy Don Draper and avowed "comedy nerd" Jon Hamm, who will absolutely for sure not, during the course of the lunch, realize that he and the stupid rich person have a similar sense of humor as they riff back and forth, quoting from Wet Hot American Summer and having a flirtatious fake "argument" about their favorite Mr. Show sketches (hers will be "The Joke: The Musical" while his is the more masculine "The Audition," but truly, both will be right), realize that they are kindred spirits and should at the very least be best friends forever.
Nope, that stupid rich person, whoever she or he turns out to be on April 16th when the ebay auction for a charity benefiting female filmmakers comes to its mercenary close, will instead realize immediately that the prize she or he has bought with her or his stupid filthy probably-somehow-connected-to-the-Madoff-scandal money was the realization that Jon Hamm, while polite and warm as can be, would rather be pretty much anywhere else on the planet than having lunch with some desperate pathetic rich fan. He prefers more interesting people. With lives.
Carrie Prejean turned the video camera off, put on some clothes, and stepped out of her house. It was a beautiful day outside. The air smelled like apples, and the late morning light hit the world in just such a...
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
If you are a sassy and sarcastic young man in an American sitcom who represents the sitcom writer's desire that a nerdy Jewish teenager can somehow be the desirable romantic hero in this world, then eventually you will get a...
I shouldn't even be here right now. I SHOULD BE GETTING INTO MY COSTUME! If I don't hurry, my facepaint won't be dry before I get to the MOONVIE theater, and everyone will be like "hahah, you look like you're...
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.
The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...
Uh. OK. Well, first let's address what this movie did well, like the disappointed parents we are (or at least that I am), recognizing that the negative feedback won't be useful or constructive if it isn't preceded by something positive....
