Remember When The Future Was Going To Be About Using Tools On The Beach?
This ad for a '90s concept car called The Stinger, "the car of the future," gets funnier and funnier as the voice-over guy describes its features in an increasingly manic tone, and as you realize that whoever created this car back in the '90s thought that the only thing the people of the future would want in a car would be Things We Could Use At The Beach. Seriously, everything about this car is beach-based for some reason:
No built-in sunscreen dispenser? BOO! Lest the TWO vacuum cleaners not sound beachy-enough, remember: they're for the SAND. (Via Everything Is Terrible.)
Posted by Lindsay at 3:45 PM in Commercials, Video Skeletons
Tags: Cars
I never realized how expensive "sheer traffic stopping ability" was. It adds up!
Score = 5
Instrument Cluster. Heh,
Score = 1
Traffic stopping as in you're having a beach party on the free way after the economy fails and road upkeep stops and the freeway turns to dust? Sorry, still thinking about that Frontline.
What use is a garden hose at a beach party?
Score = 3
It's also for people who lose their houses after the economy fails and have to live in their cars.
"The Stinger - Almost as much a condo as a car!"
Sad.
Score = 3
Like "The Homer" but for real.
Score = 2
http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/resources/2008/06/TheHomer.jpg
I was thinking the exact same thing.
Score = 1
I've always wanted a garden hose in my car! It will let me find the creators of the Stringer and then strangle them with it, ala the rope in Clue.
Score = -2
It's nice that they say it has a lot of personality rather than just calling it ugly.
Because it is really ugly.
Score = 2
ngl I'd totally buy one of these. Each new amenity sold me more than the one before.
Score = 7
I'm sorry, what beach is this that you can park your ugly Future Car right in the middle of? Is this a Future Beach? Also, wouldn't it be cheaper (i.e. less than two million dollars) to just buy a garden hose and picnic set and put it in the trunk? I guess this is different, because there are little "nooks and crannies" all over the inside for these things because the Future. I love how one of the sales pitches was actually "If you like a bunch of little nooks and crannies, how about some storage bins???"
Score = 6
I love nooks and crannies. That's pretty much what sold me.
Score = 2
did they ever address how it drives?
Score = 1
yo dawg, we heard you like the beach.
Score = 7
What I like best are the see-through doors. I've always wanted to show off my legs to other drivers!
Score = 4
. . .I kind of like it. What can I say, I enjoy creative storage! Not in green tho plz.
Although I'm not quite sure how effective an ice chest would be if you get rammed by a Hummer on the driver's side door. . .
Score = 2
Holy cow, TWO vacuum cleaners! THAT'S future.
Score = 1
seriously in the very likely case that someone steals your removable storage pod/ ice chest, then you're stuck with a big and fairly retarded looking hole in the side of your car. that's 20 million well spent
Score = 2
Ha, the "very likely" instance that someone steals your sideboard/ice chest... You live in the real world, my friend.
Score = 1
"Just take out one of the removable seats and place it on the beach! You'll be carrying the beach around with your for weeks! No, seriously, you will, 'cause that chair is gonna get sandy as hell."
And I am LOLOLOLing at that driver's side "ice chest." Something tells me that's not going to hold up in a side-impact collision. Unless all Future Cars are made of plastic and inflatable shit you can use at the beach, in which case, win.
Score = 2
what the fuck?!
Score = 0
BUT DOES IT COME WITH A ROOF?
Score = 6