Forget Magical Wizards: Now There's The Vision Board!
If I hadn't looked into this infomercial for a "vision board," I would have thought The Onion had gotten into the infomercial parody game, but nope: it's real, it's ridiculous, and, predictably, it has something to do with The Secret! For just two easy payments of $19.99, you can have anything you want, whether it's "saving money, having a family, or just ("just") being able to do whatever you want." It's all possible with The Vision Board. Are you fucking kidding us? Whoever buys The Vision Board should not have been allowed to have $39.98 in the first place.
This is the infomercial version of that children's fable, Stone Soup. It sucks that all the magical wizards are going to lose their jobs now.
Posted by Lindsay at 1:15 PM in Commercials
Tags: Infomercials
"A vision board is a constant reminder of what you can achieve when your dreams can be seen and touched each and every day of your life."
It was a claim like that that made me subscribe to Teen Beat.
Score = 17
Damn right! I'm going to go out and get me one of these ASAP! Here I was putting all my stock in Merlin, and there is STILL no young Mario Lopez in my bedroom! By the way, math check: $39.90.
Score = 0
You had me at *20 magnetic caption clouds*.
Score = 8
the WGA (the Wizards Guild of America, not the other one) is SOO going to sue them
Score = 4
My Mario Lopez comment, and then your 'Slater' avatar? It's a sign from above!
Score = 5
keep the faith brother
Score = 7
Does it come in red?
Score = 5
I really love the 30 Day Money Back Guarantee. What exactly are they guaranteeing? If all my dreams can come true in 30 days or I get my $40 back, then I'm in!!!
Score = 7
This reminds me of the time my mom and aunt came up with the worst get rich quick scheme ever, involving creating a line of overpriced pens and pencils inscribed with messages like "Remember to use The Secret!" and "The Secret will make it so." When asked how this could possibly lead to instant and unbound financial success, they claimed that anything was possible with The Secret. After three days of planning for their future extravagant lifestyles, they got into a huge new age fight and didn't speak to each other for several months, destroying my imaginary Secret-fueled office stationery inheritance.
Score = 11
I just got my Vision Board in the mail and it's amazing! Just put up a visual stimulant on the board to supress my urges, and presto! It works!
Score = 13
Oh God!, I'm gonna do the same about my porno addiction.... but I'm not sure if putting images of people fucking with the ban sign help me to leave it or just gets me hornier and hornier.
Score = 11
I have had one of these for years. It is called a fridge.
Score = 24
". . . Or finding your soulmate", who is apparently Demi Moore in GI Jane?
Score = 3
It comes with an instructional DVD. Just in case you don't know how to have dreams. Or use magnets.
Score = 14
Did anyone else see a penis in the clouds at the very beginning of the video?
Score = 0
I totes would buy that.
Score = 0
The magnets and dry-erase marker come with an instruction guide. Just in case it wasn't clear that by buying this, you are retarded.
Score = 3
Sorry Gabe and Max, you are totally out of business now.
Score = 1
And to think I've been rubbing magical lamps all these years...
Score = 0
i bet zach galifinakis has had one of these since before it was cool
Score = 0