Duracell: When Your Child Absolutely, Positively Needs To Not Be Kidnapped
Best Week Ever points out the obvious scare tactics used by Duracell in their latest partner commercial with a company called Brickhouse that makes "child locators." A child was almost kidnapped, but the Duracell battery and the Brickhouse child locator joined forces and protected him, like angels:
What kind of a name for child locators is "Brickhouse"? I thought that was a hot disco girl. Also, don't bother buying a Brickhouse child locator to put in your friend's purse or wallet as a practical joke, I already worked out the logistics on paper and it wouldn't make a very good prank even if it worked.
Posted by Lindsay at 3:45 PM in Commercials
Tags: Duracell
so, the takeaway is duracell stops child molesters.
can we think for a moment about how duracells may have been used to help child molesters? think Johnny Red Balloon would have gotten into that van if it weren't for the battery powered Batman RC car that looked so tempting?
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great. so now millions of teenagers are having unprotected underage sex just so they can make a baby just so they can buy a brickhouse just so they can use duracell.
way to go duracell.. way to go.
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The Duracell company will obviously go to any extreme just to get their name popular. The most important issue at hand would be the missing child, but Duracell only seems to care about the use of their product; for instance, Bon Jovi's mic on stage: used by a Duracell battery -- woopie!!! Young Kevin goes wandering off alone at a park... but for the fact that the Brickhouse was powered by a DURACELL battery, that makes all the difference doesn't it.
What a cheap way to get a product launched.
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Everyone needs to read the Word of God. It clearly states that the Mark Of The Beast is going to be a system that will not let people buy or sell without having the mark. This commercial is launching the biochip that the bible has been talking about for 2000 years. So, if you don't attend a church, you need to get into one asap before the rapture happens and it's too late......
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Hahaha, thanks for the laugh, Kevin! Tell us more about this invisible man in the sky who needs money. Meanwhile, you can prepare for the glorious return of Artemis soon after the Saturnalia. This commercial, with its portrayal of the typical inattentive American parent buying convenient electrogadgets to substitute for paying attention, has put us on a path to a future of anti-masturbation webcams and skin-monitoring panties. Join the ressurection of Potnia Theron before it's too late...
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