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October 28, 2009

Who Cares Why Charlize Theron's Nickname Is "Ass-Nuts"

thumbnail icon: Who Cares Why Charlize Theron's Nickname Is "Ass-Nuts"

There is an expression that says "don't look a gift horse in the mouth," and what this expression means is that when someone gives you a gift, say they tell you that Charlize Theron's nickname is "Ass-Nuts," don't set fire to the gift to kill any Trojan soldiers that may be hiding inside. (I'm sure I got that right.) Rude! Anyway, Charlize Theron's nickname is "Ass-Nuts." Just satisfy yourself with that wonderful gift! From E!:

The Oscar winner revealed at last night's Hollywood Film Awards that Breakthrough Actor honoree Jeremy Renner bestowed her with the nickname during the making of their 2005 drama, North Country.

Theron and Renner along with the rest of the cast went out for some drinks and...

"I can't tell you what transpired, but lemme just say I found a friend for life in Jeremy, and he has ever since then referred to me as...Ass-Nuts," Theron said. "I wish that was a joke, but it's true!"

What a fun name! Cool friend! We believe you, Charlize Theron, that it's true and not a joke. And no need to tell us what transpired, Ass-Nuts, we don't care. We're just happy to know what to write on your nametag at the pot luck. "Hello, My Name Is Ass-Nuts." That is what your nametag says, Charlize Ass-Nuts, now put your cassnutserole on the table with the others.

Posted by Gabe at 3:45 PM in
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33 Comments

"I can't tell you what transpired, but lemme just say I found a friend for life in Jeremy, and he has ever since then referred to me as...Ass-Nuts."


Hey, I didn't know Charlize Theron was playing BNPG 10.5. No fair!

Posted by: The Life of the Mind profile link at 10/28/09 3:50 PM  | Reply
Score = 35 Vote up Vote down

I just hope this revelation doesn't hinder the filming of The Ocean Walker. Must See Movie of 2010!

Posted by: GodspeedLaika profile link at 10/28/09 3:52 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

Photobucket

Posted by: Ghostface Lady Killah profile link at 10/28/09 3:53 PM  | Reply
Score = -34 Vote up Vote down

I don't like you

Posted by: hlebtastic profile link  in reply to  Ghostface Lady Killah's comment at 10/28/09 4:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

Say what you will about my Glenn Beck gif, at least I was trying to be funny.

Posted by: That One profile link  in reply to  Ghostface Lady Killah's comment at 10/28/09 5:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

What a monster.

Posted by: Teh Cazbar profile link at 10/28/09 3:53 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

can we pretty please give her the beneful of the doubt for her tour-de-force, pitch-perfect performance in between two ferns

Posted by: tutukulatu profile link  in reply to  Teh Cazbar's comment at 10/28/09 4:19 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

Ass Nuts more like Ass Butts! I need the self esteem boost plz upvote

Posted by: pleased customer profile link at 10/28/09 3:54 PM  | Reply
Score = 26 Vote up Vote down

I upvoted you for fear of your mental health.

Posted by: hlebtastic profile link  in reply to  pleased customer's comment at 10/28/09 4:19 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

I think she can't tell us because there's a court-ordered publication ban on the story.

Posted by: Gobblegirl profile link at 10/28/09 3:55 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

Is this because her ass has nuts or has nuts in it?

Posted by: Lulubelle profile link at 10/28/09 3:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

So many ways to go, but I'll play it straight -

My bet is she had some assholes behind her randomly throwing table nuts at the back end of her jeans, where they bow out and form a cup with the back.

Posted by: DS3M profile link at 10/28/09 3:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

I was going to suggest that someone put a handful of bar nuts on her stool when she went to the bathroom so she sat in them when she came back, but your story is better.

Posted by: Superglue profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 10/28/09 4:03 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

It hurts when you sit on my nuts.

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  Superglue's comment at 10/28/09 4:17 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

I'm thinking it was a really smooth pick up line by Mr. Renner: "Is your name 'Ass-Nuts', because that ass is driving me nuts!"

Posted by: The Dubba Dubba profile link  in reply to  Superglue's comment at 10/28/09 7:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

There was a table of beer nuts on the bar, and let's just say Charlize has a strange method to stay confident.

Posted by: talkingstove profile link at 10/28/09 4:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

I believe you Charlize, every time I see Jeremy "Awkward Vulgar Word Pairing" Renner he calls me "Dick Bitch".

Heh...right...nickname.

Posted by: Spice Weasel profile link at 10/28/09 4:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

Posted by: hans profile link at 10/28/09 4:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

So somebody calls her Assnuts and they are her friend for life. Talk about an Mr. F

Posted by: hlebtastic profile link at 10/28/09 4:20 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

monster

Posted by: petepetepete profile link at 10/28/09 4:27 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

This was supposed to be a reply to someone further up, but whatever... caption contest, anyone?

Posted by: petepetepete profile link  in reply to  petepetepete's comment at 10/28/09 4:29 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

"No, YOU HANG UP FIRST."


Makes no sense, but i like it anyway.

Posted by: Lakonislate profile link  in reply to  petepetepete's comment at 10/28/09 4:37 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Give me those nuts, squirrel.

Posted by: Lakonislate profile link  in reply to  petepetepete's comment at 10/28/09 4:38 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Who threw those bar nuts into my jeans-ass gap?

Posted by: Superglue profile link  in reply to  petepetepete's comment at 10/28/09 4:53 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

I prefer to think of the hyphen as representing the word 'to'.

Posted by: cousincarmody profile link at 10/28/09 4:32 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

Renner was trying to blackmail her, so she decided it was better if people heard it from her first.

Posted by: Lakonislate profile link at 10/28/09 4:34 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

My nickname is Jerkface. Not as good as Assnuts, but still.

Posted by: Napoleon Complex profile link at 10/28/09 4:48 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I think my new nickname is going to be... "Charlize Theron's Nickname Is Ass-Nuts"
Yep, I'll only respond to that from now on...

Posted by: TheMinisterofLongitude profile link at 10/28/09 5:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

People will be constantly confusing us, as that is my given name.

Posted by: Godsauce profile link  in reply to  TheMinisterofLongitude's comment at 10/29/09 2:27 AM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

In Japan they call her "Donkey Fruit".

Posted by: Zayin_451 profile link at 10/28/09 5:07 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Man, being a celebrity must be awesome. Hijinks! Wacky nicknames!

Posted by: Mcluskyist profile link at 10/28/09 5:32 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

"Cassnutserole", LOLZ
I can't stop saying it!

Posted by: Morgan profile link at 10/28/09 7:39 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Just so you know, what you call Dingleberries, Jeremy Renner calls "Ass Nuts," but only after they've developed a hard outer shell.

Posted by: NYC magician profile link at 11/03/09 7:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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