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May 4, 2009

Denise Richards Can't Sing. No, Really.

Look, a lot of people can't sing. So that's why a lot of people, if (inexplicably) asked to sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" at a Cubs game, would have said no. But not Denise Richards. Denise Richards belts out this easy song so off-key that it's impossible for the fans to sing along:

Also, please appreciate that Denise has to look down at the lyrics the whole time. She has one job (literally, in the world) and it's to sing a simple kid's song from the comfort of her luxury viewing suite, and she can't even do that. But check out that confidence! That Denise Richards swagger! In Denise Richards's head, Denise Richards is the Barack Obama of Hollywood, or wherever she has to live now. This video, which was clearly shot with Denise's delusional permission, is Denise Richards's press release to the world saying "I'm still terrible!" She's the worst.

Posted by Lindsay at 11:45 AM in ,
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14 Comments

Woof. Her singing voice is as dead as her career.

Posted by: Bubbles profile link at 05/04/09 11:53 AM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Maybe it's because these people have six innings to get hammered before they have to sing, but enjoyable celebrity seventh-inning stretches are few and far between. I think Bill Murray is the only celebrity who can pull this gig off.

Posted by: Maggie B. at 05/04/09 11:55 AM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

This isn't worst material. Her drunk-ish lack of self-worsness is cute like your neice.

Posted by: Ben at 05/04/09 11:57 AM  | Reply
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The Cubs are for yuppies.

Posted by: briewer profile link at 05/04/09 11:57 AM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

The sound of her voice is the sound of me putting a gun in my mouth.

Posted by: sarcasticmeow profile link at 05/04/09 12:01 PM  | Reply
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Posted by: Kenny Powers profile link at 05/04/09 12:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

Has never been more fitting.

Posted by: ber profile link  in reply to  Kenny Powers's comment at 05/04/09 1:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

No one on the corner have swagger like Denise.

Posted by: booferama at 05/04/09 12:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Well Denise Richards is not a great actress, and she chose that as her profession. Don't you think if she was a better singer, she would do that instead?

Posted by: Aaron profile link at 05/04/09 12:15 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

This is why the Cubs are cursed!

Posted by: dude profile link at 05/04/09 12:19 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I always appreciated the intro of her reality show that was something like: "Moody...crabby....bitch....skank...has-been...Denise Richards, it's complicated..."

And it's like, no, it's not really complicated, all of these descriptors cohere into a pretty clear and simple picture.

Posted by: Dubby at 05/04/09 12:48 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

Wow. Someone needs to swap out her beer for some shutup juice. Actually, that should happen all the time.

Posted by: Mcluskyist profile link at 05/04/09 1:34 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Yup--drunk.

Posted by: angeler at 05/04/09 3:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Hon, that's a microphone. Stop yelling.

Posted by: TroyJMorris profile link at 05/04/09 4:45 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

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