Jaime Pressly May Or May Not Be The New Hugh Jackman
Ever since X-Men Origins: Wolverine became the highest grossing movie of all time (surprising! also not true!) in May, Hugh Jackman has earned himself a much needed vacation. He is with his family somewhere, peeing his board shorts on a beach somewhere. Peeing his tuxedo at a romantic dinner. You know. So here comes Jaime Pressly, maybe. From the HuffingtonPost:
Jaime Pressly was photographed Sunday afternoon squatting outside a Los Angeles restaurant as a puddle of liquid pooled around her feet. Was she really so intoxicated that she urinated on the sidewalk in broad daylight?
Haha. Classic Pressly. The actress in her is always taking over. OR IS IT? Jaime responds via Twitter, which is incidentally just absolutely the best way to respond to everything:
Yes....that is me doing dare #8 at my bridal shower..Things are not always what they seem.. Notice my hand in the back..its pouring a bottl
UH OH, NOW WE WILL NEVER KNOW WHETHER OR NOT THINGS ARE ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM! Maybe this is the one time that it would have been better to respond using something other than the highly limited and ineffective method of communication that is Twitter.
Oh wait, she has another Twitter (phew, still the best):
So many funny things about this. Like, OH OK, you were doing dare #8 of your bridal shower. Classic dare #8. What? I guess I haven't been to enough (any) bridal showers. Is that a thing? "Dare #7: pee your pants in front of a restaurant." "Hey, someone put the dares in the wrong order!" I also like that DAYLIGHT is what is most bonkers about the idea of Jaime Pressly urinating in public. "You know me, it's a classic Pressly move to pee in front of a crowded restaurant at night, but in DAYLIGHT? I thought you guys were my fans!" Also, I'm sure that Jaime Pressly has had her eyes replaced with expensive Hollywood eyes, but as someone who still has civilian eyes, sorry, David Blaine, but your slight of hand is actually not as obvious as you might think. Bottl of water? What bottl of water?
This, though, is my top favorite, also from the HuffingtonPost:
Sorry, Jaime Pressly. We live in a democratic society. And we have elected that you peed your pants.
Posted by Gabe at 3:30 PM in Caught On Tape, Celebrity Gossip!
Tags: Hugh Jackman | Jaime Pressly | Pee
"I'm having a hard time letting go.." "OOOHHHHH MYYY GAAWWWWD". pee. exeunt.
Score = 15
I look forward to the "jaime pressly pees herself" meme, which will have taken over the internet by friday.
Score = 4
That's 80 years in internet time!
Score = 3
If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Score = 41
I sit down when I pee.
There's nothin' weird about me!
Mind your biz.
I'm just takin' a wiz!
Score = 2
she was just crossing things off her bucket list COME ON
Score = 10
unrelated to urinating. but, elaine stritch: YES.
Score = 0
As funny as this is, and as sure as I think I am that she actually did urinate herself in front of a crowd of people in broad daylight, it in no way takes the throne from Hugh Jackman's front-center stage, musically charged, golden pants-ed, high-note hitting urination in front of an audience at full attention. That's the stuff of legend.
Score = 18
Maybe Hugh Jackman Double-Dogged her to do it. Somebody has to carry the torch for you guys now. (Yes Gabe, Hugh Jackman plays you in this scenario.)
Score = 13
I demand a recount!
Score = 8
Fergie started the trend.
Score = 8
Y'all judge as if judges of the book in the Bible. it is not your job. If she says she didn't pee her pants then peeing her pants is not what she has done. Why would she lie! And you cannot be sure of not seeing a bottle in that video because it is too pixelated to tell if you can or cannot see. All it is here is judge and judge as if you have been given a throne on which to stand and make your decrees. ha! such stuck upness is absurdly weird. Where does it come from? Does your girlfriend like things you don't like and you are stressed and feel the need to vent? Or do you just want to believe someone has weird taste and you want to share each others taste with each other? Jaime Pressly (and Hugh Jackman for the matter!) are talented actressse and she plays great roles in fantastic things such as My Name is Earl and other quality broadcasts! That you likely judge and don't like because omeone tell s you not to enjoy what you see! Well open your eyes and minds to see what you really see and see there is no pee! only water from a water bottle that you cannot see because you're too busy allowlying yourself not to see and be your own!
Score = -7
I don't know. Do you like things that Gabe doesn't like? Cause you are totally his girlfriend.
Score = 15
I am not his girlfriend. I am indepenent! but I do not know him or have not met him and why would we date? He is too critical of things that doesn't require a criitical sense. YOu make no sense with this statement "Godsauce" like most statements made by the people here. You must learn to open your mind and accept what is different before you are eaten by your own stubborness that comes like a cloth in the night waiting to strangle you as you dream your sweet sweet dreams about how much better you are in the world because of that you like.
Score = -3
Until the strangling in the night bit, that's actually pretty adorable.
Score = 4
Adorable? what is adorable? the fact that I school all of you with my logic that you cannot best despite your best tries? Ha that is adorable! One day maybe you will go a school that doesn't just teach tired politics and you sheeple can learn how to think and think right for yourself. I cross my fingers and hope deerly that one day you will be freed when you take the red pill and go down the hole but I doubt it will come because you're all so concerend with what is thought by others who are thinking it. Haha!
Score = -3
When you say "deerly", are you just sticking with the "sheeple" animals-as-words theme?
Score = 14
That was a typo and was not meant to be a long running theme on y'all being animals but if that was the case you would still be sheep, doing whatever it is you are told to do by the people who are telling. Your retort just proves further that you are someone who wants to try to feel better than others because you are so lacking in good feelings yourself that you must judge everything. Only when you have fufilled yourself, will you be open to other things and realize how good they are indeed!
Score = 0
Awww.
Score = 8
Score = 12
I just realized Cut My Heart Out With Love and Passerby are the same lonely, bored person. Palahniuk couldn't have written it better.
Score = 13
That's too bad, cause I was totally going to set them up.
Score = 5
I've been using the word "totally" a whole lot lately. Also, I've been replying to my own comments more than usual. Self-awareness!
Score = 5
Gabe I got a new double dog for you. Go on a date with Passserby.
Score = 12
These comments are chock-full of bizarre, fortune-cookie caliber mantras...
"That you likely judge and don't like because omeone tell s you not to enjoy what you see!"
"Only water from a water bottle that you cannot see because you're too busy allowlying yourself not to see and be your own!"
"You must learn to open your mind and accept what is different before you are eaten by your own stubborness that comes like a cloth in the night waiting to strangle you."
Score = 5
"I am not his girlfriend. I am indepenent! but I do not know him or have not met him and why would we date?"
because you're gay.
also LULZ>
Score = -2
Seriously, Godsauce. She's not Gabe's girlfriend. She was, but then he went to Europe for two weeks, and well...time makes fools of us all.
Score = 30
For the love of God, don't get eaten by your own stubbornness!
Score = 6
yes, hugh jackman is a 'talented actressse' well noted, m'am.
Score = 5
If she really did intentionally piss outside of a busy restaurant, she is my new favorite person. It's long been a dream of mine to walk very matter-of-factly up to an upscale diner and piss on the window while the upper-class patrons look on aghast. I'd need a suit and tie, and a briefcase or something, and I'd have to be checking my watch like I'm late for an important meeting. I'm not joking about this.
Score = 33
You're a strange bird.
Score = 2
That photo would make one overlook a lot of flaws.
Score = 1
I just clicked on the pee tag, and my browser says "Pee on Videogum".
Score = 20
There have been 10 posts on Videogum that have a pee tag. I think somebody has a fetish.
Score = 0
It's an epidemic! http://www.worldcupblog.org/files/2009/08/capt3607a91a9621498ab6e8505d8ab3b502soccer_netherlands_england__pdj106.jpg
Score = 0
um, isnt your bridal shower a tea party where your future inlaws give you sets of towels and williams sonoma gift certificates? arent bachelorette parties generally held under the cover of darkness where the paparazzi can't be sure what kind of liquid is pooling around your ankles?
Score = 6
Jaime is clearly taking a leaf out of Fergie's book. At least Fergie had the wherewithal to claim it was sweat instead of an obviously nonexistent bottl of water.
Score = 3
It's called Acting.
Score = 1
My favorite part is the end, where the dude says "Oh my god!"
He sounds so happy.
Score = 1