Hugh Laurie Is Not Like Us
I'm sorry to interrupt our normal routine of trampoline accidents and clips from last night's Who's Going To Kiss My Mom with CELEBRITY GOSSIP, but it concerns Hugh Laurie, who is on a television show, so it's within my jurisdiction, and moreover, it concerns something called the Burger King Gold Card, so it is IMPORTANT. From the Times Online:
"[Being famous means that] you can get a table in a restaurant," [Hugh Laurie] muses. "But then you've got to go past a line of people who can't get a table - and that's a bad feeling." But he goes on inadvertently to blow the lid off what will, surely, become one of the big media talking-points of the year. "I've [been given] a Burger King Gold Card," he said casually - an invention of which Celebrity Watch was previously wholly unaware, yet is now instantly consumed by the concept of.Nugatory Google research reveals that the American chatshow host Jay Leno is also in possession of this Burger King Gold Card, and that possession of said card entitles one to an almost limitless supply of free burgers. But after that small snippet, nothing. No one else will speak of it - it is as though some manner of celebrity burger omertà has been declared.
Excuse me, but whuuuuuuut?
I used to be friends with this guy named Mike who used to live in LA where he worked as a bartender, and he claimed that one night he was cleaning up the bar after closing and he went upstairs to where they had a private room for parties and when he walked in there was a girl laying naked across the pool table and some guy was fucking her with the thick end of a pool cue, but more importantly Matthew Perry was standing three feet away from her having a casual conversation with a friend and not even paying attention to the insane violation happening nearby. When I heard that story I thought, "You know, celebrities really do live in a world that we civilians can't understand," but that was BEFORE I heard about THE BURGER KING GOLD CARD. Not caring that some girl is getting fucked with a pool cue because you and your friend are deep into a conversation about last night's episode of Gilmore Girls (Mike witnessed this in 2002) is as relatable as apple pie compared to a card that gives you free Whoppers for life. No wonder so many famous people lose touch with reality and end up sliding into a personal hell of self-destructive behavior and narcissistic alienation, Whoppers are delicious.
Posted by Gabe at 1:10 PM in Celebrity Gossip!
Tags: Burger King | Hugh Laurie | Jay Leno
I am most interested by the phrasing of how it grants "an *almost* limitless supply of free burgers." Almost?? There are limits? Celebrities have to deal with paparazzi and now also a cap on the numbers of burgers they can have. I understand why they do so many drugs now.
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I'm sorry Mr. Leno, you've already eaten 6,000 burgers this month.
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Burger King's in the House!
Praise the 'tude and pass the Vicodin...
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burger king's pr department might do better giving out less free food for life to celebrities and putting better pictures of the food on wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whopper
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That entire last paragraph is probably the funniest thing i've read on this site/ on anything in a while.
second funniest would be the whopper picture on wikipedia, good find jim, that is ridiculous.
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Hugh Laurie NEVER SAID he had a Burger King Card. Jay Leno said he had one. Hugh was listening to what Jay was saying about it. His response was "that's fantastic." Go back and review the video. I am sure I am right.
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