Scenes From The Hilariously Pointless "Fire David Letterman" Protest
As tempting as it is to get depressed by this GENIUS NY Mag video of diverse, yet uniformly insane David Letterman protesters at a rally outside his show last night, there are too many things that make it the most hilarious video we'll see today, like "You know what schmuck means in Jewish?" and "I only watch Fox News." Not to mention the guy with the "I Am A Right Wing Lunatic" sign, who should be a guest on Letterman, and the two dudes pretending to make out behind a hysterical woman. This video is so funny it almost makes up for the whole stupid Palin publicity stunt. Almost.
Ugh, it's still kind of depressing, actually. Sarah Palin, those are your fans. (Via NY Mag.)
Posted by Lindsay at 11:00 AM in Caught On Tape
Tags: David Letterman | Sarah Palin
You think you're so smart. You think you know soooo much.
Score = 44
"What do you think of Jay Leno?" "I don't watch t--... I only watch Fox News Channel."
Score = 6
"He will rape them with his mouth!"
Score = 46
The woman screaming about Letterman being a "verbal pedophile" (there should be a LAW!) has a grill that looks like it may have experienced the phenomenon known as "mouth raping" at some point in her life. This is a real thing. Ask Gabe.
Score = 12
That women kind of looks life the Cheif from the "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" TV show.
Score = 10
Could y'all explain this damned joke to me? CAUSE I DON'T FUCKIN GET IT. They were at a baseball game and the girl had sex. ZING?
It seems less like a joke and more random words just thrown the fuck together.
Score = -7
you need to stop cursing so much, mr. patriot.
what does "ZING" mean?
Score = -13
FUCK NO ya FATASS
Score = -10
I told you I was gonna start working out. Remember? You got upset when you couldn't find my vagina last night.
Score = -12
i wouldn't even touch you
Score = -6
:(
Score = -8
Patriot / Fat Ass. Are you so bored & lonely that you had to create yet ANOTHER "character" so that you can reply to your own posts? That's just... sad. Seriously, I feel bad for you that you need this in your life.
Score = 13
Helll to the naw dude. You can hate on me ALL YOU FUCKIN want (asshole), but I swear on my grandpa's Bible this new cocksucker ain't me. I legitimately think it's another commentator who changed his named cause the first time he popped up, I clicked his name and that shit took me to a BLOG.
Score = -6
Can we please ignore them from now on?
Score = 10
It's almost like the Democrats paid some actors to go out and make Republicans look shitty. Almost.
Score = 48
For sport i shoot people like this with a rifle from a helicopter.
Score = 86
Who will stop the rise of these verbal pedophiles, these mouth-rapists? JAY LENO.
Score = 38
SCENE: David Letterman in his mirror-windowed office, looking down through the glass at these people like so much Bathman. Paul Schaffer enters.
DAVID: You see them, Paul?
PAUL: Y-yes, that's what I'm here to talk about, you know that.
David does not turn, but lightly clasps his hands behind his back. Paul sees his head tilt up slowly, he is looking at the city now.
DAVID: They want me to apologize don't they? They want me to back down from this, this, pitbull?
Paul nods, David notices his glinting head in the reflection.
DAVID: I'm not going to, Paul, and do you know why? It's not because I think we should all be able to make fun of whomever we want to. It's not because of the little guy in the nightclub who gets a hiss admist the shining bath of applause.
He turns and Paul involunatarily shudders. David has been looking out at the city, her people, life, for so long some of it glows in his face.
DAVID: For the ratings, Paul. As long as these people are mad, they will make others watch. I will beat Conan, I can feel it.
HE begins to laugh. The city reverberates with it and Paul falls down and rushes, scrambling, from the office, tears streaming down his face.
Taken from the Office of Sarah Palin for the Promotion of Sarah Palin.
Score = 9
You can't make it up.
Score = 51
tl;dr
Score = 0
I don't like either side of the political spectrum, but Jesus H., this is INSANE. It scares the shit out of me that I am either in front or behind these people when I cast a vote.
Score = 13
My God, people are stupid. It never ceases to amaze me just how much this is true.
My personal favorite:
"... A 14-year-old girl, sitting on the sidelines, watching, of all things, an all-American BASKETBALL game."
And I also loved how the whole thing seemed to spiral out of control into completely irrelevant rants against socialism and immigrants, because of course it would.
Score = 47
Also, they were actually at a BASEBALL game...
Score = -16
Exactly.
Score = 10
And basketball was invented by a Canadian immigrant - YIKES.
Score = 19
This is probably Mexico's fault anyway.
Score = 6
"I'm a Jay Leno fan" -Everyone you shouldn't listen to.
Score = 68
Some of the people don't even seem sure why they're there, which is pretty inspiring stuff.
I may just pick a building to stand by and just BOOOOOO and hiss at it. That, my fellow patriots, is what the armed services are fighting for.
Score = 34
Ted Nudgent for Late Night Host!!
Score = -4
Also, I'm going to write a porno called Late Night Mouth Rape. I knew teabagging was no passing fad.
Score = 12
haha! da republicans are so stupid! all republicansj are like that manj! dere all soo dumb and confoosed! its hilaris! im soo glad im not a stoopid republican manj! i lubs da obama and da gabe and lindsayj! lets kill sarah palin! lolololololol!
Score = -82
What
Score = 6
you're no da cake eatur but you'll do.
Score = 17
You need an avatar.
Score = 5
At the end Richard and Sal from the Howard Stern show are "making out" in the background.
Score = 12
For loving Leno so much, I'm amazed they missed this:
“Gov. Palin announced over the weekend that her 17-year-old unmarried daughter is five months pregnant. And you thought John Edwards was in trouble before! Now he has really done it.” — “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. 9/2/07”
Score = 57
Not to mention the guy with the "I Am A Right Wing Lunatic" sign, who should be a guest on Letterman
Way to go Dave!
RON & FEZ 11 - 3. XM 202 & Sirius 197
Score = -8
Yeah, this was kind of funny until they started talking about his bastard son and slut wife. What the fuck? What kind of morals are you even promoting?
It's like watching an Alexandra Pelosi documentary. I don't want to laugh at these people. I want them to go away.
Score = 17
This joke was taken off of the intended target and redirected to address some bored conservatives agenda about who knows what. I want to make a urinal cake with all these people's faces on them so I can feel better.
Score = 20
One thing I would never want: To be raped by that woman's mouth. EEK!
And I'm still going to watch David Letterman.
Score = 5
How nice of them to dedicate a portion of their day to such a great cause while visiting the Big Apple! Did this happen in the morning? After they left the Today Show?
Score = 27
i especially like the other touristy people taking pictures of the crazies. i can imagine them coming home and pasting them into their scrapbooks to share these precious memories with their grandchildren in 40 years.... "look here, billy and ricky! this is when grandma went to new york to see the big city, and stumbled across the great beginnings of the letterman coup of 2009!"
Score = 6
"I only watch Fox News Channel". That's code for "I never get laid".
Score = 60
"I only watch Fox News and have never seen a Proactiv infomercial."
Score = 38
D&D code to be exact!
Score = 0
Sarah Palin and her minions aren't happy unless they can claim someone's victimizing them... otherwise they're stuck trying to find some REAL ISSUE to tackle, God forbid.
Score = 23
Sarah Palin has minions?
Score = 1
im not very very frustrated OR upset
Score = 6
These people are clearly insane, but I wouldn't blame Palin. She actually had a good reason to be upset by the joke, until Letterman apologized. We'll see how she responds to the apology.
Score = -2
She responded by thanking the troops for protecting Letterman's right to free speech. In other words, like an opportunistic moron.
Score = 25
whoa. i cant believe no one else has commented on the crazy ranty white guy doing the finger in the face head wag at a black woman. sure fire way to win an argument: being so offensive that your opponent walks away!
Score = 24
Please see the very first comment.
Score = 1
well, i guess i do think i am so smart, and know so much, except how to read things good.
Score = 16
Rape joke = socialism?
The Daily Worker should start a Party Jokes section, like Playboy, except all the jokes will be about raping Sarah Palin's mouth.
Score = 7
I think that David Letterman will rape you with his mouth is going to be on every birthday card and wedding guest book I sign from now on.
Score = 6
If these people, by virtue of their political and moral beliefs, represent my opposition, then I will sleep pretty soundly tonight knowing that I am on the right side.
Score = 7
Someone should remind them that we're in two wars. Takin' it to the streets... against the evil force that is Letterman!
Score = 6
I know it's painfully obvious, but I would just like to point out that Bristol Palin's son is a bastard as well... but, you know, that's ok, i guess. cuz, well... cuz of how socialism is bad and letterman will rape your kids with his mouth and... stuff.
Score = 32
Some serious Late Night wars going on...
Score = 6
I have to hurry home to save my children from Letterman's verbal pedophilia. They could all be raped with his mouth! Plus his wife is a slut!
Score = 5
East Side Dave is the best!!! He is the guy with the beard shouting "Enough is enough..."
Viva la Eastside Dave!!!
Score = 5
I should have scrolled first- but yeah, I noticed it too. the guy is great
Score = 3
Yeah, I wanna hang out with east side Dave.
Score = 3
Thank god I can just catch Jack Paar in the morning...
Score = 1
Theres your average W. Bush voters... wow, this video actually made me really angry and sad for the world
Score = 9
David Letterman turned A-Rod into a pervert with his jokes. That's how things work, right?
Score = 13
Hilarity !! ! ! ! That's why maybe it wasn't such a good idea for Jay Leno to leave the tonight show. All these people with no sense of humor have no place to go for now. OF COURSE THEY LOVE LENO . They just don't get it.
Score = 0
This is my country. Dammit. It's things like this that make the terrifying prospect of President Palin seem that much closer to terrifying reality. If you need me, I'll be cowering in the corner of a locked, windowless room with a fifth of Jack and a shotgun. Call me when the crazies die off.
Score = 2
Sarah Palin degrades women every time she opens her mouth.
Score = 23
I actually worked with the guy with the right-wing lunatic sign. his name is "east side" dave and he does the ron and fez radio show. he's a nut
Score = 5
whoever has the loudest mouth wins!
Score = 2
I like Sarah Palin, she is cute.
David Letterman... Is that the guy from Candid Camera?
Score = -11
I love the two guys who are kissing behind the 'he will rape you with his mouth' "woman"
Score = 4
I love how Palin tried to make this into a "women's rights" issue. Like as if Letterman was insulting all womanhood with his joke about her daughter. Because lord knows if there's one person who's sympathetic towards the rights of women, it's Sarah Palin (if there's one person who's sympathetic towards the rights of women, it's not Sarah Palin)
Score = 5
Man, that woman in the screen grab looks like Becky Fisher from Jesus Camp.
Separated at heterosexual, Christian birth?
Score = 9
This whole shit makes me so fucking sad. The bitch told a straight up baldfaced LIE about a fucking stupid joke. I know these people don't give a shit about the truth but this is seriously some abject stupidity going down right here. Sad.
Score = 5
HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT THIS IS THE FUCKING MOST EXCITED I HAVE EVER BEEN ABOUT ANYTHING ON VIDEOGUM, THE GUY WITH THE "I AM A RIGHT WING LUNATIC SIGN" IS EAST SIDE DAVE FROM THE RON AND FEZ SHOW. I WISH OTHER PEOPLE HERE KNEW WHO HE WAS, HE FUCKING RULES. HE SNORTED HIS OWN PISS ONE TIME. I WOULD IHGLY SUGGEST LISTENING TO HIS RADIO SHOW, SPECIAL DELIVERY.
Score = -8
So okay, no one's going to say anything about "YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS IN JEWISH?"
Score = 3
(In regards to your profile picture) I remember seeing this several years ago, and I have been desperate to remember who it is ever since. Could you help me out?
Score = 0
Chuck Close, Big Self Portrait, 1968, acrylic on canvas
Score = 1
THANK YOU SO MUCH
Score = 2
oh, david letterman. i support the jokes. because it is your job to read them. while i'm not your biggest fan in the world, i understand that some people find you necessary. keep up the work, sir.
now, protesters. let's not be against people who make lots of other people smile just because we may be sad ourselves. about the lack of hockey moms in the white house. we live in a sad world most of the time. your anger just makes you seem like the worst of it. mainly because you are. :(
Score = 3
The worst thing about this protest? I was subjected to it while lying prone in a chair having a cavity filled. You haven't experienced Fox News until you've had a crotchety old dentist mumble angrily along with it into your open mouth.
Score = 16
At least Letterman will get some more young fans, as it will be clear to them that anything these people oppose is inherently good.
Score = 2
america is so funny
Score = -2
Your political posts are awful Lindsay. All you do is bitch about right wing politics that aren't even relevant anymore. Those people there represent like 10% of the population, a population that is for the most part half-retarded and harmless. Stop kicking the dead elephant.
Score = -21
Um does anyone else think the woman with the red mullet has some Christopher Walken going on when she says the born out of wedlock thing? The pauses and head bobble, Also, I'm from a town in FL where the population is 95% people exactly like this , they retire to my town when their bones become too brittle to stand out in the cold and protest unimportant things. My grandma and her friends say things like this, but they keep their elderly crazy-babel confined to bingo where it belongs.
Score = 0
I don't know what David Letterman did to spark this protest, but I have a feeling it didn't warrant his wife being called a slut, and his kid being called a bastard, and really any of this attention from these people. Too much time on their hands, I suppose. I wish I had this much free time, but I'm so busy with my Jewish language classes.
Oh and who cares about East Side Dave?
Score = -1
I guess this is as good as any way to take the heat off over the "pipekine contract" that Palin and her Hubby put together to rape us of multi-billions in a contract that only ONE COMPANY was allowed to bid on and amazingly its Canadian? She gave them millions in up front money when they had previously refused it. Wonder IF she gets any of the kickbacks from that????Go Dave!!!
Score = 0
I guess this is as good as any way to take the heat off over the "pipeline contract" that Palin and her Hubby put together to rape us of multi-billions in a contract that only ONE COMPANY was allowed to bid on and amazingly its Canadian? She gave them millions in up front money when they had previously refused it. Wonder IF she gets any of the kickbacks from that????Go Dave!!!
Score = 0
Cool, a math problem. The most part of half of 10%... That's 2.5 to 5% of the population is retarded. No wait, if they're for the most part half-retarded, the rest could be fully retarded. So... 2.5 to 7.5%.
That's a pretty conservative estimate. I take it you don't spend a lot of time online.
Score = -1
That was supposed to be a reply to andro up there. I guess I'm in that group too.
Score = -1
Didn't this Letterman thing happen like a week ago? This outrage really delayed.
Score = 0