Here's some raw footage that the AP released yesterday of an inmate in a New Mexico jail "escaping through a small door leading to a plumber's chute." Supposedly.
Eight inmates escaped Sunday, and five of them are still missing.
Um, hey, New Mexico prison system, it's 2008. HOW ABOUT GETTING A CAMERA THAT WORKS. I would really hate to be the Chief of Police having to explain how eight inmates escaped from your prison because the guards missed what was happening due to the fact that the surveillance footage on their monitors had been dubbed over an Ugly Kid Joe cassingle using a PXL-2000. You could probably stick a cellphone to the wall with a piece of bubble gum and get clearer looking footage than this. You're telling me that we have the imaging technology to make dinosaurs come to life in Jurassic Park but we can't get some 2 megapixel cameras up in the New Mexico prison system? JURASSIC PARK!
The other night, I was watching the convention on CNN when I became convinced, crazy-person-style, that I saw Harold And Kumar and House star and my personal crush Kal Penn in the background wearing a neon vest, carrying a walkie-talkie, and appearing to be some sort of DNC security staff member. I rushed to try to record it but my Tivo was being weird (great story, huh?) Anyway, I've been talking about it nonstop for three days, this mysterious Kal Penn sighting, but Google searches revealed only what we already knew: that Penn was an Obama supporter. But what explained the outfit? Was he really working at the convention, or pretending to work at the convention for some sort of project? Finally, a friend sent this LA Times blog story: Kal Penn really is working at the convention, as a Virginia delegation worker and not as any sort of celebrity at all. It's almost like Kal Penn wakes up every morning and asks himself: "Is there any way I could possibly be cooler?" And then he finds that way, and he does it. I love Kal Penn. (If anyone happens to see Kal at the convention on TV, by all means tip me off!)
A train engineer caught video of his train almost hitting two stupid people, and put it on the internet, and now he's gotten his viral (and suspenseful!) revenge:
Incidentally, if the train had hit the people, and they had died, this video would still be on the internet! That's how messed up the internet is now. I just found out yesterday. Watch out!
On the one hand, if I were Michael Cera I'd be very annoyed that someone stood across the street and videotaped me hanging out with my friends at an outdoor cafe and walking down the street signing autographs for bystanders while wearing the most Michael Cera-esque outfit imaginable. On the other, this creepy, weird, and strangely fascinating video brought joy into my life, because I love Michael Cera (as a friend):
It's funny/sad that I actually had the thought "But what if Michael Cera hates Videogum for posting this?" Michael Cera, star of the upcoming feature film Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist, has better things to do than Google himself.
This family in Alaska were minding their own business on Tuesday when they heard crying outside and the mom got out her video camera and captured a huge grizzly bear killing a moose and dragging its carcass around her backyard and then yesterday park rangers came over and shot guns!:
This video from the security camera of a police department interrogation room has no sound, so I'll provide narration Bob-Saget-era-AFHV-style, but in writing:
Cop: You're in big trouble. This is what handcuffs look like. I'll be right back. Drunk Driver: Okay. Drunk Driver: What's this? Oh, Wite Out. Who even uses Wite Out anymore? La de dah, Wite Out, Wite Out, in my hand..oh well, I guess I'll drink it. Can't hurt. (Drinks Wite Out) Drunk Driver: Shit, now there's Wite Out all over my mouth. It dries really quickly. (Tries to wipe it off.) Cop, returns: What the? Did you just fucking drink this fucking Wite Out? Drunk Driver: Yeah. Cop: I gotta get some other cops in here. Cop (to other cops): Look at this guy, he just drank Wite Out. Let's lead him to another room. Female Cop: Hahaha. I cannot hide my amusement. That's gonna be a fun story to tell the other lady cops at lunch.
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