Yoa giys shood call this mavie! Yoo cold buy FAMIS!
I'm sure this movie is going to be really really good. I don't know who Cuirtis Jackson is, but if it's got "a mall scenes" in it, maels prortrying gang member, and everyone involved is getting professinal pay, I don't know how they could possibly screw it up.
WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER FANDANGO!* (Via Craigslist.)
*Alternate joke: you are quite literally crazy for this one, 50 Cent.
It's being reported all over the place today that Owen Wilson is going to be doing some voice acting in the upcoming Marmaduke movie (oh, btw, there's going to be an upcoming Marmaduke movie) as the voice of Marmaduke, and while that's obviously a great career choice for Owen Wilson and is definitely going to be a super fun and good movie, I have just one question: what is Marmaduke going to say? Marmaduke doesn't talk! From Empire Movies:
The movie, which will mix live-action and computer-animation, will follow a family named the Winslows who move from Kansas to Orange County with their Great Dane Marmaduke, who creates chaos wherever he goes. Judy Greer, Lee Pace and William H. Macy will play the humans while voices will be provided by the likes of Fergie, Emma Stone, George Lopez, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Steve Coogan, Damon Wayans and Marlon Wayans.
Wait a second. Steve Coogan? As in the Steve Coogan who got Owen Wilson addicted to the heroin that ultimately led to his unfortunate suicide attempt? PERFECT. This is going to be hilarious and charming! "Marmaduke, stop nodding in my chair." "Marmaduke, is digging a black hole of hopeless despair in my flowerbed again." "Oh boy, here comes the dog catcher. It looks like they picked up Marmaduke in a pool of his own blood and vomit again."
"Hello, Fandango, I'm going to need tickets for my whole family. What do you mean you're sold out?"
Jessica Alba is in discussions to join the third installment in the Meet the Parents series. Now, the most important thing, of course, is that there is going to be A THIRD INSTALLMENT IN THE MEET THE PARENTS SERIES. Thank goodness. Basically the best series of films of all time*, and they should keep making them forever because they're important and we need them. But it's great that one of the most intelligent actresses of all time is joining the ensemble. From the Hollywood Reporter:
[Jessica Alba] is in negotiations to join the Ben Stiller-Robert DeNiro comedy "Little Fockers." She'd play the role of an attractive pharmaceutical rep whose looks wreak havoc on male characters in the story.
The picture is expect to pick up where 2004's Meet the Fockers left off, with Stiller's Gaylord Focker and Teri Polo's Pamela Byrnes having a child (or children -- reports abound that they could be having twins).
Reports abound! But while pretty much everyone has been talking about how many make believe babies are in the make believe womb of a make believe character, the more important issue appears to have gotten very little attention: what will Jessica Alba's awkward, double-entendre laden last name be?
Today's big reality TV news is that when the new season of Jon & Kate Plus 8 begins this November*, it will just be called Kate Plus 8! OMG, or whatever. From People:
In a stunning announcement, TLC said Tuesday morning that as of Nov. 2 Jon Gosselin would no longer appear on the popular reality series Jon & Kate Plus 8. The program would undergo a name change, to simply Kate Plus 8
"Given Jon's recent antics, there was no way the show could continue to portray him as a doting Dad, not while all this other crap was going on," a source close to the show tells PEOPLE.
Sure. I mean, that's obviously true. Dude is clearly more doting on Christian Audigier than he is in doting on his kids. But it's not like Kate is some great paragon of motherhood, said the cover of Duh Aficionado magazine. I mean, why not cancel the show entirely because it's terrible, put both of the parents in jail, and send the kids off to foster care where their lives will be slightly less ruined?
But in the meantime, let's figure out who is going to be the new Jon Gosselin. Because as the Greatest President of All Time, George W. Bush, used to say, "children should be raised by one self-obsessed man and one nightmarishly narcissistic woman."
Bad news for the VD'O superfans out there. He is leaving Law & Order: Criminal Intent after eight seasons. From Variety:
Sources from the "L&O" galaxy say that stars Vincent D'Onofrio, Kathryn Erbe, and Eric Bogosian are all expected to be phased out at various points during the series' upcoming ninth season. Julianne Nicholson left the show a few months ago. Executive producer Dick Wolf is turning to Jeff Goldblum, who joined the cast last season, to remain as lead detective in the series along with Saffron Burrows, who was recently cast to replace Nicholson as Goldblum's partner.
Did you know that Law & Order: Criminal Intent is only shown on the NBC subsidiary USA Network now? They don't even show it on Big Boy NBC anymore. Weird. Anyway, it is clear that I have not been keeping very close tabs on my Law & Order: Criminal Intent news if I didn't even know that it was only on the USA Network, so how could I conscionably choose the best farewell Vincent D'Onofrio YouTube fan montage? No, the best thing to do is to provide you with a selection after the jump, and allow you to pick the one that is right for you.
As you may have heard, Ellen Degeneres, America's sweetheart, made a pretty big announcement on her show yesterday:
Whoops. That isn't it. Don't get me wrong, Ellen Degeneres playing mother nature in some stupid movie is really exciting (not really exciting). But that is definitely not what her big announcement yesterday was. Hold on. Oh, here it is:
Woof. I read in Variety (I did not read in Variety) that the tentative title for this show was Your Show, until they figure out a better name for it, like Barf Town: Population Assholes. Seriously, everything about this looks like it was taken from a science textbook about Things That Are Objectively The Worst. From Craigslist:
Dominicans, hispanics, indie rockers, bartenders, and most of all Hipsters! Hipsters! (not to be confused with Hipsters With Tattoos, although there will be those as well) from the people who brought you Entourage? This show wins the award for Show That Most Makes Me Want to Shoot Myself in the Face Before It Has Even Been Filmed. This guy knows what I'm talking about:
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Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.
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