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May 1, 2009

Sarah Palin For President Of Motorocycles

Sarah Palin, whoever that is, was on this week's American Chopper, because of course she was.

Why does she keep talking about how long Alaska has been a state? Is that a thing? Are Alaskans constantly reminding everyone that they've been a state for 50 years? I suppose when you are up there on the oil rig or working in the cannery or whatever, you forget that down on the mainland NO ONE CARES ABOUT THAT. And what on Earth does she mean that Paul Teutul Sr. "just has that patriotism." What he just has is a handlebar mustache and a problem relating to his children.

I know that it's 2009 and making fun of Sarah Palin's bland, empty rhetoric is like shooting a potentially retarded person in a barrel, but jeez. She's like Gay Robot but for Saying Stupid Americana Stuff. Awful.

The bullet that just grazed America, you guys. TBTJGA. (Via Buzzfeed.)

Posted by Gabe at 9:30 AM in
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20 Comments

Deezey

It makes perfect sense that these two are ))>((.

Posted by: Deezey profile link at 05/01/09 9:53 AM | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down
caringiscool

i think it's actually ))>((.
the other one is just one person farting or crapping on another person's butt.
there's no back and forth!

Posted by: caringiscool profile link in reply to Deezey's comment at 05/03/09 4:49 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

she has to list how many good things they can do together. she got to two. good job, sarah palin. no, no, no. don't say anything more. just... good job.

Posted by: ian g at 05/01/09 9:55 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
inglorius basTURD

Watch out Sarah, that gay, socialist, abortionist bear's gonna eat'cha!

Posted by: inglorius basTURD profile link at 05/01/09 10:23 AM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
what

Sometimes I forget how much I really hate her. Like, a hate that burns and seethes and festers in my soul. Can we do a green screen challenge with her so we (I) can work some of this out?

Posted by: what profile link at 05/01/09 10:36 AM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
Becca

that was just awkward.

and why would a "potentially retarded person" be in a barrel?

Posted by: Becca profile link at 05/01/09 10:48 AM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down
caringiscool

who knows what they're getting up to?
they're always crawling into something!

Posted by: caringiscool profile link in reply to Becca's comment at 05/03/09 4:48 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

She's so into him: "We can ride and then go fishing... sigh"

Posted by: Ugah profile link at 05/01/09 11:17 AM | Reply
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I think we know what she meant when she said they would ride his bike to the fishing hole.

Posted by: d-w at 05/01/09 11:31 AM | Reply
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practicallyinformation

Just lounging on a giant stuffed Grizzy. Cause that's how Sarah Palin does it.

Posted by: practicallyinformation profile link at 05/01/09 12:18 PM | Reply
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otis-anne

Please, please can't Sarah Palin be interviewed by a sack of potatoes? Or wait - Sarah Palin interviewed by Paula Abdul. I have a new dream.
By the way, all that "Alaskans are so proud of their 50yrs of statehood!" crap is an attempt to cover up that fact that most Alaskans refer to the lower 48 as "outside" and acknowledge the existence of the federal government only in contexts like "I sure hope my tinfoil hat can keep them from stealing my brainwaves.". A shockingly large percentage of the population lives there specifically because they are *hiding* from the government.

Posted by: otis-anne profile link at 05/01/09 1:31 PM | Reply
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That seemed like a really really awkward conversation.

Posted by: J at 05/01/09 1:34 PM | Reply
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Funtastik

I'm sorry... They're leaning on a bear? All I could think about. Videobombed.

Posted by: Funtastik profile link at 05/01/09 1:43 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Because I'm an equal opportunity reader of words, I allowed myself to start and finish reading Esquire's profile on Todd Palin this month (what's the opposite of revelatory?). She said the same thing (he's SOH patri-AH-tic!)

Lesson: A love for muscles, tats, chAHppers, and shoehorning in airbrushed designs of the American flag wherever/whenever is a better substitute for patriotism than learnin' shit from books and governing ethically (the pussy, community organizer liberal way).

Posted by: Chadams at 05/01/09 1:55 PM | Reply
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Darren87

I just can't wrap my mind around how anyone could find throwing a bearskin over your couch anything but...TACKY! This is what happens when you refuse to hire a gay interior decorator.

Posted by: Darren87 profile link at 05/01/09 2:09 PM | Reply
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As someone who is currently on an oil rig in Alaska, I take offense to this!

Posted by: steve at 05/01/09 5:45 PM | Reply
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Carrie

Also, too.

Posted by: Carrie profile link at 05/01/09 10:03 PM | Reply
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Ashley

I NEED that bear in my living room!

Posted by: Ashley profile link at 05/02/09 4:50 AM | Reply
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Seriously, what is with all of the Alaska hate? You apparently know nothing about Alaska or Alaskans aside from what someone political told you to get you to hate Sarah Palin. Good job thinking for yourself and bringing about a new America free from blind discrimination. No. Turns out America is just as prone to this as ever, the predjudices have just shifted to other things.

Posted by: Zayin_451 profile link at 05/02/09 10:14 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
otis-anne

I hope that my comment hasn't been construed as Alaska hate, because it's one of my favorite places in the world. My comment about Alaskans was based on my experiences during the year I spent waiting tables in a tiny fishing town there (road trip mishap), so I guess I should't assume that I know anything about the rest of the state. I definitely don't know anything about the majority of Alaskan voters, who elected Sarah Palin as Governor. The Mayor of the town that I lived in was the greatest, and he had only one name (no surname) and didn't wear shoes. Ever.
I met two people in one week who claimed to have had multiple encounters with extraterrestrials. Alaska's huge fun.
The taxidermy *everywhere* does take some getting used to.

Posted by: otis-anne profile link at 05/03/09 6:17 PM | Reply
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