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October 22, 2009

Evening News Reporter Menaced By Horrifying Monster

You can turn your Internet off for the rest of the day. This is the best it's going to do.

You know, it doesn't take much sometimes. For all of the anxieties and frustrations of modern life, occasionally, finding some happiness in this world is the easiest thing there is. Oh look, here's some! (Because I just watched this video again.) Thanks for the tip, Emma!

Posted by Gabe at 9:30 AM in , ,
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61 Comments

you're up early, gabe.

Posted by: grace6697 profile link at 10/22/09 9:35 AM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

Burdened by information? More like BIRDENED!

Posted by: jawbone profile link at 10/22/09 9:35 AM  | Reply
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LOL you beat me to it!
Birdened indeed. Birdened indeed.

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  jawbone's comment at 10/22/09 9:43 AM  | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

27 year old Gangland Murder?

More like 27 year old Gangland BIRDER!
amirite?amirite? I'm leaving now.

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 10/22/09 10:14 AM  | Reply
Score = 22 Vote up Vote down

it was more of a flock than a gang.

Posted by: GodspeedLaika profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 10/22/09 7:25 PM  | Reply
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I guess those kids were right. All that cybernet stuff is pretty cool. And I have learned how the ‘net can entertain me and take me to faroff places and meet new people! And see giant birds.

Posted by: werttrew profile link at 10/22/09 9:38 AM  | Reply
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I was in bed, watching the blackhawks game, and for some reason I realised your name is a palindrome. A weird one, but a palindrome nonetheless...



Does it creep you out to know I think about you in bed? It creeps me out.

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  werttrew's comment at 10/22/09 10:17 AM  | Reply
Score = 32 Vote up Vote down

this was to be a reply to werttrew, not sure how nor why that worked out like that.

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 10/22/09 10:17 AM  | Reply
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This internet is confusing, I need to go re-watch that infotainment video. I feel like a retardgum

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 10/22/09 10:19 AM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

If you want another epiphany, DS3M, type out my name and watch your fingers as you do so.

Posted by: werttrew profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 10/22/09 10:22 AM  | Reply
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VERY EXCITE!

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  werttrew's comment at 10/22/09 10:25 AM  | Reply
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Oh man I just did it. Craziness.

Posted by: jneslo profile link  in reply to  werttrew's comment at 10/22/09 10:25 AM  | Reply
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Dude! That is amazing. Okay everyone needs to explain their usernames now. Some of them I never understand. Ready, go!

Posted by: Carrie profile link  in reply to  werttrew's comment at 10/22/09 11:39 AM  | Reply
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I'm game.

Posted by: sen_tankerbell profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 10/22/09 11:53 AM  | Reply
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Jawbone is a song by The Band, which I really like. I own a jaw bone as well, but I like to call it chin chin chinny instead. I also love Henry the Hoover, so much so that my girlfriend bought me a mini one, hence my avatar.


TMYK

Posted by: jawbone profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 10/22/09 11:53 AM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

I'm pretty :( that I'm tardy to this party. My username just comes from the fact that I'm short. Double :-( for not being original!

Posted by: Napoleon Complex profile link  in reply to  jawbone's comment at 10/23/09 8:56 PM  | Reply
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Hleb was my favorite soccer player about two years ago, and obviously he was fantastic.

Posted by: hlebtastic profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 10/22/09 12:49 PM  | Reply
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Yeah but look at him now! I supposed it is pretty hard to get your game for Barca, but still. My hometown team (Hearts) had his brother on trial. Little fact for you there. Call me Xavitastic. Should I call you Arshavintastic now?

Posted by: jawbone profile link  in reply to  hlebtastic's comment at 10/22/09 1:03 PM  | Reply
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suppose* stupid typos and their stupid ways.

Posted by: jawbone profile link  in reply to  jawbone's comment at 10/22/09 1:04 PM  | Reply
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Barca was never the right fit for him. He can't dribble as well as Messi and he can't pass as well as Xavi. He's basically a poor man's Iniesta, but oh man was he right for Arsenal. I would and do seriously argue that Xavi is the best player in the world right now. Also, regardless of how you feel about Robin Van Persie, but you have to admit that RVP and Arashavin are the coolest strike pair in the game.

Posted by: hlebtastic profile link  in reply to  jawbone's comment at 10/22/09 1:29 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

True, they are pretty cool. I hate Adebayor, just something about him, he can score for fun though, but moving from Arsenal to Man City has to be for money. Wow. I like how this has became Footygum. Soccergum for the yankee doodles!

Posted by: jawbone profile link  in reply to  hlebtastic's comment at 10/22/09 1:34 PM  | Reply
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Did anybody go to Man City for any other reason? And footygum forever, this is fun.

Posted by: hlebtastic profile link  in reply to  jawbone's comment at 10/22/09 1:50 PM  | Reply
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footygum! so late to the party that i'll just hang out with myself. but man, what a party. i wish hleb could have done better at barça too, but they really didn't need him at all last year. i wish him luck at stuttgart. (i'm a sevilla supporter)

Posted by: aaronwk profile link  in reply to  hlebtastic's comment at 10/25/09 10:33 PM  | Reply
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re: footygum, add me to the list. romastrega is for a.s. roma.
and re: giant seagull. i am scared to death of birds and will now have nightmares. many thanks.

Posted by: romastrega profile link  in reply to  jawbone's comment at 10/22/09 7:32 PM  | Reply
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Dicky Stri 3000
I'm from the future, Bitches!

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 10/22/09 1:41 PM  | Reply
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Humble beginnings can often bring great changes, and the production squad under Richard is no different. His own beats (under pseudonym DS3M), lyrics (written by Dicky Stri) and word (spit by Rich E. Rich) all serve as the groundwork upon which his artosts follow and build. His other beatmaker, one A1 (Alan S), has opened up the Dirty South to a whole new realm of Chicago Hip Hop heads and fans. One of the greatest shifts found within their own music is the constant swing between classic hip-hop ideals and modern rap sensibilities. The street style and messages personified in harder rappers and outfits (pac, 50, No Limit, Cash Money) aren't major factors impressing upon their lyrics and outlooks. Rather, they look to the pioneers of hip hop old and new (Grandmaster, G Rap, Kool Moe Dee, Mos Def, Atmosphere, and Talib Kweli) to achieve a rap style that is sincerely '05, but not quite so evil. Exploring truth, street fables, greater social consciousness and political awareness are the hallmarks of Dicky Stri's lyric sheets


THE VERY SAME

Posted by: jawbone profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 10/22/09 1:49 PM  | Reply
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This frightened me for some reason.

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  jawbone's comment at 10/28/09 4:45 PM  | Reply
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My use of the name Godsauce actually predates Wonder Showzen, which references a product with a similar name. I got the name from when I viewed a late night television evangelist preaching, "The love of God is like the embryonic fluid around the fetus of our destiny. I am lost in the sauce of God."

Posted by: Godsauce profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 10/22/09 10:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

"I am lost in the sauce of God" is pretty much my new tombstone phrase, because of how often I will be saying it from now on.

Posted by: Andy profile link  in reply to  Godsauce's comment at 10/23/09 6:51 PM  | Reply
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Mine's from a great little ditty by one of my favorite bands, Guided By Voices.

Posted by: Paper Werewolf profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 10/22/09 10:45 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

My name is Marc. And guess what? I'm INCREDI *bang*

Boring user name, but I've had it in a number of ways for a while now. Carrie? You never divulged?

Posted by: incredimarc profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 10/23/09 6:47 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Mine is a Jane Austen reference. It's the book Catherine becomes obsessed with in Northanger Abbey.

Posted by: Udolpho profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 10/24/09 12:46 AM  | Reply
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What! But the Jane Austen reference is from a book that predated hers, The Mysteries of Udolpho I always thought you were just nerdy enough to be referencing that book. I never knew.

Posted by: lemonne profile link  in reply to  Udolpho's comment at 10/24/09 1:55 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Garmanbozia is the pain and sorrow that the extra-dimensional creatures like BOB feed on in Twin Peaks. Sort of. I spelled it wrong when I signed up. It should read: garmonbozia.

BOB/Leland dumps Laura's body in the lake. As her corpse drifts away, BOB/Leland enters the Black Lodge, where he encounters MIKE, the one-armed man, and the Man from Another Place (who is seated at MIKE's left side as the aforementioned "arm"). They tell BOB that they want their garmonbozia ("pain and sorrow"). BOB returns it in the form of blood. As Laura's body is found, she enters the Waiting Room between the Black Lodge and the White Lodge. She realizes that Agent Cooper is by her side, and that her angel is guarding her, and that she will enter the White Lodge.

Posted by: Garmanbozia profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 10/25/09 12:06 AM  | Reply
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Oh! I almost forgot! I didn't know what garmonbozia was until I heard a song by that title on the first Superdrag album. Then I looked it up, and because I love both Superdrag and Twin Peaks, it seemed like a good fit.

Posted by: Garmanbozia profile link  in reply to  Garmanbozia's comment at 10/25/09 12:12 AM  | Reply
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Is it embarrassing that I opened a new tab in my browser to do this? Apparently I subconsciously thought something insane might happen and wouldn't want to lose my spot on videogum. PHEW!

Posted by: Lady Branagh profile link  in reply to  werttrew's comment at 10/22/09 12:33 PM  | Reply
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Aww, ha ha! What you don't realize yet is that at the exact moment you had your head down and typed out "werttrew," I secretly replaced all your feminine products with exactly identical products except that they are ones marketed to men!!

Posted by: werttrew profile link  in reply to  Lady Branagh's comment at 10/22/09 1:33 PM  | Reply
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So, is this burning sensation what's known as the Axe Effect?

Posted by: Lady Branagh profile link  in reply to  werttrew's comment at 10/22/09 1:41 PM  | Reply
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One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them. The seagulls will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new avian overlords! I'd like to remind them that as a trusted internet commenter, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground garbage caves.

Posted by: kiss the pan profile link at 10/22/09 9:39 AM  | Reply
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This video just keeps getting funnier and funnier each time I watch it. Exponential LOL factor!

Posted by: Zingers profile link at 10/22/09 9:47 AM  | Reply
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Srsly! Plus, holding the laughter in at work is doubling as an ab workout for me.

Posted by: Mary Mouse profile link  in reply to  Zingers's comment at 10/22/09 9:51 AM  | Reply
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I don't think that's funny at all. I've been attacked by regular-sized seagulls in Long Island, and one that big could eat me as well as my Sun Chips.

Posted by: Deezey profile link at 10/22/09 10:12 AM  | Reply
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Just what the hell does this have to do with Topher Grace?!

Posted by: Space Jamb profile link at 10/22/09 10:17 AM  | Reply
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We're gonna need a lot of Alka-Seltzer to take down that monster

Posted by: T profile link at 10/22/09 11:15 AM  | Reply
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My name is based on the first film that made me beleive in God

Posted by: The Smartest House profile link at 10/22/09 1:02 PM  | Reply
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Looks like he pussed out at the last minute on the "Lindsey U'R my Princess" sign.

Posted by: Lady Branagh profile link at 10/22/09 1:05 PM  | Reply
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Posted by: mjwalrus profile link at 10/22/09 3:30 PM  | Reply
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dumb

Posted by: hoochie mama at 10/22/09 6:58 PM  | Reply
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I registered just to say that I watched, with increasing bewilderment, my fingers typing out DS3M over and over until I reread the post and realized I was an idiot.

Posted by: alack profile link at 10/22/09 6:58 PM  | Reply
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We still really appreciate you registering just to confess that you are an idiot. If you break it all down, that's really what this is all about. Commenting here is basically an exercise in not taking yourself too seriously.

Posted by: Zayin_451 profile link  in reply to  alack's comment at 10/22/09 10:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

My username is my name...

Posted by: kate profile link at 10/23/09 6:46 PM  | Reply
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You guys? I missed you, you guys. I am in the schoolin and also I am too lazy to sign in repeatedly. Anyway, since nobody cares and nobody asked, my username is a combination of my not being particularly clever and the fact that Joan says "you guys" in a way that makes me all smiley. That is all.

"You guys? Litter killed Ponce, you guys."

(Okay, THAT is all.)

Posted by: you guys? profile link at 10/23/09 7:09 PM  | Reply
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My name is Tibby. And I like the play "Pygmalion: by George Bernard Shaw. But I sort of spell it wrong. I probably should've been Tybmalion. Oh well!

Posted by: tibmalian profile link at 10/23/09 9:10 PM  | Reply
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I know this is late, but sweaty rick is the drug dealer in the epic soap opera that is shhdontellsteve, which is the winner of the internet, and if it has not been mentioned here on the 'gum, it ought. http://twitter.com/shhdontellsteve

Posted by: Sweaty Rick profile link at 10/23/09 9:55 PM  | Reply
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i know i'm tardiest to the party but i like stuff in my ass

Posted by: stickitinmybutt profile link at 10/23/09 11:05 PM  | Reply
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My name came from an old email joke that has ceased to be funny a long time ago:
Q: How do you spot a rich guy?
A:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic


My original avatar. See, I told you not funny. But, at least LB is also rich. He can fly to the moon and back if he wants.

Posted by: RichGuy profile link at 10/23/09 11:23 PM  | Reply
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Tyrannosaurus Reznor

Posted by: T.Rez! profile link at 10/24/09 12:04 AM  | Reply
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Even tardier to the party-er, I'd missed this thread. Which is a shame because I want lots of people to explain their usernames. It's more fun than I would have thought.

Lakonislate = Nikola Tesla. Not particularly clever, but I needed a username for some damn site that already had two billion users, and everything else I could think of was already taken. There's just too much competition in trying to be clever on the internet. So I gave up.

Avatar = my favest movie evar.

Posted by: Lakonislate profile link at 10/24/09 6:29 AM  | Reply
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FRANK & BEANS !!!


Posted by: StevieSteveStephen profile link at 10/26/09 12:10 PM  | Reply
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My user-name is my hebrew name, you've been JEWED!

Posted by: ittayonina profile link at 10/28/09 4:33 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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