Today's Best New Party Game is inspired by the Clash of the Titans teaser trailer, which reader Samir points out has a very clever tag-line!
Really? REALLY? The tag-line for Clash of the Titans is "Titans Will Clash!"?!
A++, Hollywood. Extra credit! "Show your work!"
When I was in junior high school, in the mid-1920s, my "language arts" teacher told us to make "reading" posters that promoted reading, which would then hang in the hallway. Everyone worked all week on these things, and on Friday we had to present them to the rest of the class. Good assignment! One kid, named Edward, who looked like a scarecrow and whose dad legendarily asked the teacher if he could read computer programming manuals for his book reviews, walked up to the front of the class with a folded piece of red construction paper, which he dramatically unfolded, and in giant, thin letters, written in pencil, the paper just said "READ." That is what this tag-line reminds me of, except that Edward's poster was very funny (let's just say that it was as funny as the teacher was mad) while this tag-line is just very lazy.
OK, this is easily my favorite Party Game of all time. It is so weird! Who thought of this? Why aren't they president of something, with an annual salary of low to high millions? I would not be surprised if whoever thought of this gets a call from the MacArthur Foundation. "We're gonna need a bigger genius grant!" SO GOOD!
#cowfilms
Huh? WHAT A WEIRD GAME. And yet it is so so fun. What, you hate fun? C'mon, son! So, #cowfilms, for example:
Bitter Moo
Rebel Without A Cows
Last Tango in Pasture
Grazing Day
Milk
Sorry I took all the good ones and won this game before it even began! Too bad so sad! I promise you, though, that this is all you will do today. GOODNIGHT.
Best New Party Game 10.5• I have really been enjoying the BNPG that some of the Videogum Twitter Monsters have been playing for the past couple days. It is called "Jeopardy Tales," and to play, you share your creepiest Jeopardy contestant biographical anecdote. Ex: "For my daughter's sweet 16 I got her first portrait ever put on a cake, but no one wanted to eat a picture of her crowning."
Often times in this hectic modern age that we live in, people's idea of preparing for a party is to open a bag of Tostito's-brand "Scoops™" tortilla chips*, pour them into a bowl, and presto: you've got a party. But this Best New Party Game is so simple, you'll have plenty of time left over to make your own chips by hand. Probably.
As with most of our BNPs these days, this one comes to us from the Twitter. And it is as follows:
#oneletteroffmovies
Easy enough. The only rule is that you can change one letter, but you can't add a letter that was not there to begin with. The new title must contain the same number of letters as the original title, with only one letter being changed. (Or what?). So:
Hobocop
The Last Piss
Dude, Where's My Cat?
Three Men End a Baby
Now, this game was particularly popular over the weekend. Maybe you already played it. That's OK! Just post your favorite entries here and see how they stack up against the competition (because of how this is such a serious competition). Or just play again. You're fine. Relax.
*Hi, Tostito's! I hope you enjoyed my plug for delicious Tostito's-brand "Scoops™" tortilla chips. Please send one million dollars to gabe@videogum.com c/o Chris Farley's Ghost.
It is time for me to head to the airport and get on an airplane and fly (that's right, FLY!) back to sweet, sweet New York City. Goodbye California! I will miss your abundant produce and sunshine, and the piles of delicious, cheap tacos (yum!). I will NOT miss your bedazzled-skull-t-shirts-on-60-year-old-men and your constant traffic jams (seriously, with the traffic!). In any case, everything ends, and so has this visit to Los Angeles ended. But it is such a long flight back! What should we do in the meantime? I know: Best New Party Game 9, duh.
This is an easy one, developed as so many BNPGs have been lately, by Videogum Buddy @TimCarvell (follow him, why not?). So: #accuratetaglines. Like this one:
@TimCarvell: "In space, no one can hear you scream. Unless you're in a spaceship with other people. Like the characters in this movie." #accuratetaglines
You get it. My turn.
"There is something wrong with Esther that is hilarious."
"Just when you thought it was safe to go in the water, there is a shark inside the water."
"He died. But this movie is retarded." (That one goes out to the CrankHeads.)
Have fun! I will be playing (and winning) this game FROM THE SKY.
OK, this one is a little more complicated than a few of the more recent Best New Party Games, because the rules are kind of vague. But on the other hand, it's a classic! And this is one that you could actually win. Anyway: simple enough, strings of overlapping movie titles. So, starting simple:
The Strangers On A Train (The Strangers + Strangers on a Train, duh)
or Scarface/Off
or There Will Be Blood Simple (you get it)
Those were all very short, very lazy examples. The longer the string the better. But this is where it gets tricky. Complicated intertwining nesting-doll overlaps are also allowed (in the rules of this game that I am making up as I go along). For example:
We Are Forgetting Sarah Marshall
or
Snakes on a Soul Plane
or:
The Longest Whole Nine Yards
And from there it becomes a mess. The Longest Whole Nine And A Half Weeks Yards? I'm going to sit this one out, actually. But the longest string that actually makes sense wins. The prize for the winner is final, definitive confirmation that you are a nerd. GOOD LUCK!
As we know, Hollywood is always remaking stuff. They love it. They can't get enough of the remakes. They are remake-aholics over there. And when they do remake a movie, it's almost always with an eye towards "the kids." Got 2 keep the kids happy. So not only do they ruin stuff, but they ruin stuff in a very specific way: namely, by shoe-horning in a middle-aged cocaine addict's idea of what a kid would think is cool. And thus a best new party game is born!
I tried to start my own Best New Party Game on Twitter last night. Has it taken Twitter by storm? No it has not. Has your mom written me like, "@videogum Lots Of Love, I can't stop playing yr new game, it is 2 much fun #desperatepassions." Your mom has said nothing. On the one hand, that is kind of a bummer. I tried to participate in this human world of ours, and the human world was like "u could have just as easily not tried to participate." On the other hand, the only thing more shameful than failing at Twitter is being really good at Twitter. "Oh, he is one of the best when it comes to Twitter." "Is he?" "Yes." "That's too bad." And besides, that just means MORE PARTY GAME FOR US. Right, you guys? Right? Riiiight?* The game is simple: #HonestMovieTitles. You get it. I'll go first:
There Will Not Actually Be That Much Blood
Honey, The Kids Are Running Around on a Stupid Looking Sound Stage
Split Personality Club
Indiana Jones and the Second to Last (Let's Hope!) Crusade
No Country For Any Men, When You Think About It, Too Scary!
P.S. As you can see, my head is clearly in a yogurt cup, so I'm leaving early today on a much-wanted long weekend. When the Gabe's away the Monsters will play, or whatever, ugh, sorry, bye. See you guys on Monday.
Gabe: Ice Cream Cake, I messed up! Boo hoo hoo, I'm a big baby who wears a diaper apparently. Ice Cream Cake: Don't worry. You will always have your best friend: me, Ice Cream Cake!
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