Twilight Fans Closing In On Star Trek Fans For Title Of Saddest Fans
Twilight Cruise, OK, sure. You've got to do something between dinner and the midnight buffet. But Twilight summer school complete with Twilight prom? No, David Blaine. From MTV (Via Film Drunk):
After all the time that I've spent covering the "Twilight" beat for MTV, I was extremely honored to be asked to attend Summer School in Forks: A "Twilight" Symposium, a real-life fan event that allowed Twilighters to attend classes, go to a prom and enjoy field trips around the real-life town that Meyer immortalized by making it home to her beloved characters.
Uh oh. I've got a :( feeling about this.
"We're having Summer School in Forks right now," beamed Kaleb Nation, a.k.a. the "Twilight" Guy, a popular blogger/author. "We have all these bands up here for the 'Twilight' prom. I gave a speech earlier, and we have all these speakers that have been talking about the series. We have the woman who [voices] the audio books here. It's been an amazing event for a bunch of Twilighters to get together in Forks."Driving into the small town (population 3,000), the first things you see are the enormous trees, the gorgeous beaches -- and the pouring rain and overcast skies that make it such a perfect place for sexy vampires to call home. Then, when you pull into town, you see a quaint Disneyland for Twilighters: A motel sign screams "Edward Cullen Slept Here," a local Chinese restaurant features a "Twilight Dinner" and every third storefront sells Robert Pattinson cardboard cutouts, custom-made T-shirts and other "Twilight" trappings.
AAAAAAAHHHHHH. I need an adult!
"None of our students are vampires -- at least, not that we're aware of," grinned Kevin Rupprecht, the real-life principal of Forks High School, who promised me that he resists the daily temptation to call Edward Cullen to his office over the loudspeaker. "Thousands and thousands of people come through this town, just to see the 'Twilight' setting, every month. We do have a couple of lockers, for the fans, that are designated for Edward and Bella. People like that. And we do know which parking spot the almost-accident occurred in. So we direct fans to that; they eat it up."Forks High was the site of the Symposium. And although it was fun to see all the fans wearing T-shirts that read "Jasper Says Relax" or fathers dressed up like Carlisle (complete with brown contact lenses), they were here for some serious business.
"We got to listen to a lecture by John Granger, who is the author of many [books about] Harry Potter," explained Maddi of "Bloodsuckers," a "Twilight" podcast, who attended Granger's class on religious themes within the pages of the popular novels. "Stephenie Meyer is a Mormon, and we didn't realize how much her religion played into the 'Twilight' series. ... He told us about how Bella and Edward, in the series, represent the relationship between man and God. Edward is God, Bella is man, and when he leaves she feels an absence in her heart. That was really interesting."
Is this real life? More importantly, IS THIS FOREVER?
Another interesting part of the weekend was Saturday night's "prom" in the Forks High gymnasium. With attendees of all ages dressed in their best evening gowns and suits, popular "Twilight" acts the Bella Cullen Project, Bella Rocks and the Mitch Hansen Band sang odes to the Cullen clan. The YouTube sensation Hillywood Players walked amongst them dressed as Bella, Jasper, Alice and Edward -- the latter had his shirt open to reveal his chest, naturally. After sniffing a few potential mates, "Edward" chose his dancing partner from among the blushing fans."It's been totally inspirational," Mitch Hansen said of his first time in Forks, saying that he was moved enough to write some new lyrics. "It's mind-blowing."
On Sunday, yours truly got to deliver the keynote speech to the "graduates" during a ceremony that saw them all receiving diplomas. As we stood in the real-deal Forks cafeteria, it was hard to deny the feeling that Edward could come strolling in at any moment, grab a tray of food that he would only poke at and stare longingly at Bella from across the room. As the line between fiction and fact continued to blur, the Twilighters exchanged hugs and phone numbers, taking home the memories of a lifetime along with their diplomas.
"We ended up taking the same flight Bella took to get to Forks in 'Twilight,' " explained Maddi, remembering the journey that she and her friends had taken to get to the tiny town Meyer selected for her novels despite the fact that she had never actually set foot here. "We went from Phoenix to the Seattle airport, then took a puddle-jumper from Seattle to Port Angeles and got to see all the beautiful scenery.
"We ate at Bella Italia, which is where Edward and Bella had their first date. It was pouring -- just like it should be -- when we got here," she continued, saying that even when there isn't a scheduled fan event, Forks is still a Disneyland for Twilighters. "Everywhere you go, you can just imagine Bella and Edward walking down the street in this cozy little town. It really is like being in the home of 'Twilight.' "
The main thing that I worry about is how we're going to cope with the inevitable worldwide cat shortage as these fans get older. WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER CAT POPULATION! I figure somewhere between 12 to 500 cats per Twilight fan ought to cover the insufferable loneliness that gets increasingly difficult to appease with paranormal fiction as time goes by.
Posted by Gabe at 6:00 PM in Behind The Scenes
Tags: Nerds | Twilight
we're going to need a bigger jar
Score = 45
I think we should start a support group for what has to be the constantly growing segment of the Forks population who think this shit is bananas. I'll get the papers together. Ow! Papercut!
Score = 40
You posted so much of that article. I just kept reading and reading and there were so many :[ details.
It's my own fault.
Score = 24
Wait wait wait wait wait, are you telling me there is a Potterologist, which is a word I just used, whose last name is Granger? That is really perfect.
Okay so I can buy the whole mormon analogy, despite the fact that it reeks a little too heavily of forced parallels to C.S. Lewis who was a real writer, but only in the context of Edward representing God representing money, and Bella representing "man" representing Stephanie Meyer. Because while I'm sure she wants some God in her life, she definitely wants all the money in her life. When there is no money in her life, she feels an absence in her heart.
Also, how shitty would it be to be someone who lived in Forks and hated Twilight. The answer is: so shitty.
(Vgum won't let me sign in. Lindsay hexed this thing pretty thoroughly. ARE YOU LISTENING SCOTT LAPATINE?)
Score = 57
so this is what's gonna make mormonism more popular? magic underpants are about as cool as sparkly vampires.
as for her religion being a big part of the books, it does explain why the vampires don't like the native american werewolves since Captain Mormon Joseph Smith Jr. also didn't like native americans cause of how they're jewish.
Score = 27
When any event that you attend is also attended by a "YouTube sensation," it's time to start seriously re-thinking your life plan.
Score = 35
The Twilight Sad
Score = 31
"Fathers wearing brown contact lenses"? Really? I don't know which parenting is worse, this or the Real Housewives.
Score = 14
those are your parents, but you knew that already.
and you hate yourself because you're turning into them.
Score = 13
by no means did i read that entire article of horror, but i think that i can safely say that it would be the fucking worst to actually live in a town named after cutlery and made famous by a series of books geared towards twelve-year-old girls who will undoubtedly make annual pilgrimages to said town.
Score = 14
Also, "Technojeremy Says Relax".
C'mon, you know it had to be done.
Score = 10
as they always say...
cleanliness ≤ godliness ≤ vampiricism
Score = 7
'"It's been totally inspirational," Mitch Hansen said of his first time in Forks, saying that he was moved enough to write some new lyrics.'
My favorite part, god help us.
Score = 9
I grew up in Sequim WA which is on the East side of Port Angeles, (Forks is on the West). All this shit freaks me out. I ate at Bella Italia; I went to a dance in Forks with a friend once. SHIT IS BANANAS.
Who would make the smallest, crappiest logging/rez town ever an international phenomenon? This blows my mind.
Score = 5
this is happening all over this article:
every grown man there needs to "have a seat", and put down the iced-tea, lemonade, and cookies.
Score = 62
here's a couple more ups. :)
Score = 1
I think my soul just killed itself with a soul gun.
I can't finish the article now. Got about halfway.
Score = 4
this is totally insane!
Score = 1
Laugh all you want, but potential employers are really impressed with a diploma from Fake Twilight School (Sadness Cum Laude).
Score = 28
Sorry all of America this is what we do in Washington. No wonder we have the highest rate of suicides per capita.
Score = 11
I forgot we also have the most serial killers.
Score = 12
I'm sorry, but is this all that different from the annual Lebowski Fest? Grown men in robes and helmets bowling, spilling White Russians on the lanes?
Score = 11
:(
Score = 2
I was never much of a fan of the whole :-( related jokes, but i've got to say it was totally worth it for "Uh oh. I've got a :( feeling about this."
Score = 4
my main concern about this whole thing is how the actual twilight school students of Forks must feel about this whole ordeal. hollywood is glamorizing the alternative accelerated school program for old people and slackers who are 12 credits short of graduating. WHEN WILL THEY TELL THE TRUTH?!
Score = 5
all of the questions and concerns this phenomenon creates in me are running through my head in Ralph Wiggum-voice. i'm really that confused.
Score = 8
Not that anyone will even read this now, but I think Gabe's next Double Dog dare should be to go here. Maybe "Edward" will even choose him to dance with!
Score = 42
dooooo ittttttt
Score = 0
"We have the woman who [voices] the audio books here." I'm packing my bagsimmediately.
Score = 11
Whoa whoa whoa, how exactly are these people paying to go to this? I wasn't aware Twilight was read by anybody old enough to actually hold a job, and I refuse to believe a parent would knowingly and willingly contribute to their child being this socially awkward.
Score = 3
Wow, I have to say being a D&D fan these days is looking as cool as playing foot ball.
Seriously guys just for a second lets just be happy all these lonely girls found other girls that share the same interests and that's really positive and a special thing that Stephanie Meyer brought to them with vampires and....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Seriously I'm just waiting for the news reports of these girls throwing them selves in traffic hoping a vampire comes and saves them only to end up the hospital. Is that wrong of me? Maybe, but I'm a bad person.
Score = 3
"And we do know which parking spot the almost-accident occurred in. So we direct fans to that; they eat it up." By "do know" does he mean they just designated some random parking spot, or is he suggesting they've uncovered some kind of historical/roman a clef mystery spot?
Score = 5
Two things: One) Twilight Fans are the saddest because Star Trek doesn't suck as badly (or at all in some incarnations). Two) Seriously? Twilight Summer School with diplomas as though that is a thing to be proud of? Really? Someone needs to create mystical shape-shifting psycho-hunks of another kind so these dumb people can obsess over something else. When will it end?
Score = 3
You haven't read Hamlet until you've read it in its original Vampiric.
Score = 3