Diablo Cody's Mind To Adapt Sweet Valley High • Personally, I've never read Sweet Valley High (SURPRISE!), but I assume that it is full of garbage neologisms and self-indulgent teen-speak. And if not, it is now. Something something hamburger phone.
Posted at 10:45 AM in Behind The Scenes
Tags: Diablo Cody | Movie Adaptations | Sweet Valley High | Teenagers
Carrie Prejean turned the video camera off, put on some clothes, and stepped out of her house. It was a beautiful day outside. The air smelled like apples, and the late morning light hit the world in just such a...
MORE »
If you are a sassy and sarcastic young man in an American sitcom who represents the sitcom writer's desire that a nerdy Jewish teenager can somehow be the desirable romantic hero in this world, then eventually you will get a...
MORE »
I shouldn't even be here right now. I SHOULD BE GETTING INTO MY COSTUME! If I don't hurry, my facepaint won't be dry before I get to the MOONVIE theater, and everyone will be like "hahah, you look like you're...
MORE »
The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...
MORE »
Uh. OK. Well, first let's address what this movie did well, like the disappointed parents we are (or at least that I am), recognizing that the negative feedback won't be useful or constructive if it isn't preceded by something positive....
MORE »
Dear Diablo Cody, STOP IT. JUST STOP IT.
Score = 2
I didn't read it either, but I guess if I imagined what it would be like if Chuck Palahniuk adapted the Hardy Boys, then I could relate.
Score = 6
Frank and Joe's best friend was portly teenager Chet Morton, who for the past year had been a delivery truck driver for a local butcher. He was fired last month, after being expelled. When Eastdale High's locker number 306 first started to smell, no one paid it any attention, but a few days later, it was causing people to choke. When security broke the lock, they found piles of rotting cut sirloin and moldy beef tips. Attached to the meat were pictures of the cheerleading squad encrusted with a substance that the high school administration refused to identify.
Score = 24
Genius. I'm having an upvotegasm.
Score = 1
I heard it will feature an original soundtrack of songs by Kimya Dawson, about attempting to hold hands and failing, and sharing juiceboxes
Score = 8
Sweet Valley High is just a painfully mediocre Nancy Drew, so it's good they got someone who is familiar with painful mediocrity.
Score = 12
I'm still holding out for Tucker Max to sign-on for the Babysitters Club adaptation.
Score = 9
Wasn't Sweet Valley High a tv show about twins? Or is my memory failing me?
Score = 3
TV show based on a series of books.
Score = 3
Ah, it all comes back to books..
Score = 4
Dead Ringers meets Babysitters Club.
Score = 0
no! get away from my boring, clean living elizabeth wakefield. dont make it quirky! the best part is that the books are totally lame. its a nice, comforting lame book series, for tweens in 1992 to read and imagine what high school will be like. also one time i bought a sweet valley high book from the scholastic book fair and it came with a free bonnebell lipsmacker. diablo cody better be giving out chapstick!!! but still that will not make up for her obviously ruining this.
Score = 6
AGREED. The Wakefield twins were many things--sun-kissed blondes, perfect size-sixes, blue-green-eyed, exactly 5'6"--but they were not quirky. At all.
Score = 10
Sweet Valley High adaptation?
WHOA DREAM BIG
Score = 5
Sounds interesting in the, "this is going to be a trainwreck." way... Seems like Diablo is using her clout in Hollywood to stay comfortably in her bubble i.e. superficial middle-class pop culture... its getting real boring Hollywood...
Score = 1
For some reason all I can think is "Click to watch Girl Talk"
Score = 1
I hope they base it upon the one where some random serial killer from the midwest decides she's going to kill Elizabeth (or was it Jessica? I can't remember) and "take her place" in the family just because she looks a little similar to them, and nobody notices something is amiss because Jessica is busy not talking to Elizabeth after Liz drove drunk (because Jessica spiked her drink) after prom and killed Jessica's boyfriend.
You know, realistic teenage stuff. They can take lessons from Gossip Girl!
Score = 4
Honest to Videogum?!
Score = 2