Simon Cowell Gets Paid The Exact Right Amount
Simon Cowell is renegotiating his American Idol contract this week, and rumors are starting to circulate about how much he is going to make. Last year he made $36 million for making teenagers feel bad about themselves (something that most adults, and just fellow human beings in general, do for free). This year he could make as much as four times that amount. From the New York Post:
Cowell, who reportedly made $36 million last year for judging the hit competition show, has been offered three or four times that amount -- between $100 million and $144 million per year -- by co-producers Fox and 19 Entertainment to stick with "Idol" when his contract expires next May, according to The Guardian, a London newspaper.
Sure. $144 million. That just makes sense based on the value that he adds to the world. Like, if you were to have asked me yesterday, before these reports were even being reported, if you were to have said "Gabe, how much money do you think Simon Cowell should make for shilling Coca-Cola and using third-grade-recess-caliber taunts," I would have said "somewhere in the ballpark of 143-145 million." So.
The thing is, it's not that much! Not for someone with Simon Cowell's lifestyle. Look at his expenses for 2009:
See? $144 million accounted for.
(Ed. Note: Woof. If these jokes are any indication, today is going to be a very long day.)
Posted by Gabe at 10:15 AM in Behind The Scenes
Tags: American Idol | C.R.E.A.M. | Simon Cowell
"44 Million Full-Time Staff of Hacky Diss Writers"
Man, Bruce Vilanch is really living the high life.
Score = 6
Knuckle not 'nuckle'. Sorry. I'm a jerk but I want you to be the best you can be because you are the best you can be. Or maybe you meant 'nuncle,' as in 'Zounds! Nuncle clapt me 'cross me cockcomb!' Just like when you were a child.
Score = 9
is there a Nobel Prize for being unreplaceable yet overrated at the same time? i can't decide whether i'm outraged or impressed. impraged?
Score = 4
Outpressed.
Score = 11
America Idol makes almost a billion dollars a season,
http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/archives/american_idol_4/2005_Mar_31_idol_cash
If Cowell's absence caused just a 15% drop in revenue, it would justify this salary. Any outrage shouldn't be directed at Cowell and his grade school insults, it should be directed at the people who watch AI just for his grade school insults. There's only one word for someone who makes $144 mil for doing what little work Cowell actually does. Genius.
Score = 6
I'd go with lucky and puerile, but whatevs.
Score = 5
I want him to make more than Seth MacFarlane. Whatever it takes.
Score = 3
So he is basically making more money than the winners of this show? Or is Ruben Studdard making a fool of us all?
Score = 0
Paula made that chart, huh?
Score = 1