Megan Fox, Please Understand Me
Megan Fox, I'm not an idiot. OK? I don't expect anything from you. I'm not delusional or confused about the nature of our relationship. Obviously we will never be romantically involved, but beyond that I also recognize that we will never be friends. We won't even be acquaintances. Please, Megan Fox, know that I at least have the self-awareness to recognize my place in the world, and to satisfy myself with it. I am not completely unhappy.
But Megan Fox, there are times when I am sitting at home on my overstuffed couch giving the cat its medicine when I dream of a better world. I dream of a place without loneliness and without the constant throb of disappointment. Perhaps it's a fantasy, and yet it seems so practical. Most of the time, when I'm dreaming of this paradise, I still live in the same apartment and hang out with the same friends. It's more just a feeling of belonging and satisfaction. A warmth.
Sometimes, Megan Fox, when I see you in a magazine or on TV, I feel like you live in that other world, and you've come to visit to show us that it is real. You're a symbol of that other life without the hospitals and the goodbyes. If I could just somehow get there. If I could just somehow live there. Not with you, I know. Just with me.
Megan Fox, I just wanted to thank you for that. It may sound silly to you, or lame, but you make me hopeful. So Megan Fox, please, JUST TAKE THIS FUCKING "THANK YOU" FLOWER, YOU ASSHOLE.
Posted by Gabe at 10:30 AM in Behind The Scenes
Tags: Megan Fox
Awwww, that poor kid's face.
But honestly, I bet there are 20 other guys who look just like him holding up flowers ahead of her as well. She's just so....unbelievably....hot.
Score = -18
You know, I really don't get why Megan Fox is considered attractive at all. To me she sort of looks like an 'Essex bruiser', as we don't really say in England. Also she's got a pretty complete bad tattoo collection.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGlaMKuFdZw
Score = 15
Make that 21! Ca-Ching!
Score = -1
HELL YEAH sign me up. I'd give her one DAMN GOOD thank you flower if you know what I mean.
Moneyshot.
Score = -14
LOL, moneyshots are the best! one time i moneyshotted all up in that biatch. she was like, omg! and I was like, AYK?!?
Score = -13
You are a SICK, disturbed freak. You need to get off the internets before you RAPE SOMEONE WITH YOUR HEIFER MOUTH.
Score = -10
I love you, babycakes.
Score = -7
I DO NOT LOVE YOU BECAUSE I HAVE NO AFFILIATION WITH YOU ASSHAT
Score = -9
i spy the portly kid in the blue shirt hypnotised by the sight of megan fox's backside.
Score = 24
Thats no portly kid... thats Chaz Bono.
Score = 13
Kid looks like he just stepped out of the 80's. Dude time traveled for you Megan Fox, TAKE THE FUCKIN' FLOWER!
Score = 89
I did not see the flower in the picture till the second look.
Score = 29
There's a flower in the picture?
Score = 8
"I was picturing a basket"
Score = 1
I didn't see the kid till the 2nd look. I thought Gabe was just writing the letter in awe. Then I saw him and it made more sense. But I only looked at him once.
Score = 12
I saw the kid immediately. I'd half-assedly bet that the correlation of seeing it/not seeing it falls tidily down the attracted to women/not attracted to women divide. But I still haven't finished my correspondence course in At-Home Boring Who Cares Psychology & Vision 150.
Score = 22
She`s a talker
Score = 25
I actually found this post suprisingly moving.
Score = 24
Gabe. this was monumental ! i thought i how this was unfolding and unfolding and unfolding, but then, the finish... brilliant :) i never even saw the kid until i finished reading your post. lol.
BRILLIANT!
Score = 0
This is like the Fight Club of posts...you get to the end and realize the kid was there all along.
Score = 5
I walked by a ballcapped, on a cellphone Natalie Portman once at Harvard Square...it was like spotting a deer or bunny...I played it cool and thought to myself...I just walked by somebody who has there face on 32 million cups right now.,,
Score = 3
This was heartbreaking. I don't come here to be depressed, this isn't movedbythesadplightsofothersgum. That being said, I really did enjoy this Gabe. As I said on The Hangover post, she is kind of awful.
Score = 17
Agreed. Between this and the "Obsessed" post about the lonely hoarder, this is becoming slitmywristsinawarmbathgum.com.
Score = 6
Considering she's 30% sculpted out of plastic at this point anyways, they could have bothered to carve out a place for a fucking heart.
Score = 27
Score = 255
A for Amazing!
Score = 6
Is it wrong that I find the kid's head on Megan Fox's body hotter?
Score = 25
I'm laughing at work. Thanks asshole.
Score = 17
holy fuck I just got fired because of this picture. :(
Score = 25
Wait, is that a keyboard cat tattoo?
Score = 26
Oh my God, you're right! Even the small details are perfection! Personally, I just like the fact that in the original picture, both Megan Fox and Flower Fan both have a look of distress on their face, so the body switch worked magically.
Score = 3
Giving a flower to Miss Fox has been on his Vision Board since "Transformers" came out. I think he wants his two easy payments of $19.99 back.
Score = 11
I have to say, even though I really don't like Megan Fox, that dress is totally working for her. Hubba HUbba! Okay, I'm done being a creep.
Score = 9
She's supposed to have a small rack?
Score = -9
All monster sized sadness aside that's a really creepy gesture. A white rose on your headstone every year on your birthday creepy.
Score = 8
hahahaha, good work.
Score = 0
Oh man everyone's right this is turning into awwholdmegum...on another note did she put on a really huge bra or something? That shit ain't right.
Score = 1
I hypothesize boob job. She wasn't packing that kind of heat in GQ last year.
Score = 4
smell my flower megan!!! smeeeeelllllll iiiiiiiit!
Score = 2
Score = -2
If you look very closely, I think she might have a tattoo of Reese Witherspoon on her arm.
Score = 7
I also didn't see the flower kid until a 2nd (4th) look, and i'm kind of sad that i noticed at all. i liked imagining gabe on his oversized (probably tan) couch feeding medicine to his cats in between watering his plants, with hangover movie posters (because, hey you guys, those are awesome) adorning the walls.
Score = 2
I'm laughing so fucking hard at my desk I'm looking over at the wall pretending to look at something and trying not to shed laughter-tears trying to regain my composure but I can't fucking stop laughing. Best. Post. Ever.
PS - what's a "Megan Fox" ?
Score = 1
I hope no one at work ever finds out about my secret Videogum affair. I want it just to be between you, me, and the LOLZ.
Score = 3
i haven't seen the first transformers, but i know transformers 3: flowers for megan is going to be the best in the trilogy!
Score = 2
That was horribal at the end
Score = 0
That was good megan
Score = 0
Megan was great
Score = 0