Gossip Girl XoXo Summer News XoXo Round-Up XoXo
HELLO UPPER-EASTSIDERS,
Just kidding. If you live on the Upper Eastside and you read this blog, thank you for reading and please give me a limousine! But I will not cater to you. The rest of us are down here in the streets. Fighting. That being said, there are two bits of important Gossip Girl news this morning. And yes, I use the word "important" very liberally.
1. Taylor Momsen is a vampire.
Holy shit! Vampires are terrifying, and also super hot right now. They are sociopathic murderers and everyone wants to be one. Well, Taylor Momsen is one. From MTV News:
"I'm nocturnal," Momsen told MTV News. "I'm a vampire, I decided. I write at night. I don't write a song; I write in a stream of consciousness. I never edit everything. I have books of lyrics. You can write a hundred songs from it, but I try to pick one stream."
I did not realize you could decide to be a vampire. That goes against all of the mythology that I have come to understand over the years. But Taylor Momsen is famous, what do I know about how the world works. Besides, vampire singer-songwriters are probably different from vampire murderer-sex addicts.
But here is the real news, you xoxo guys xoxo:
2. CHACE CRAWFORD HAS MOVED OUT OF ED WESTWICK'S APARTMENT!!!
OMG! They were living together and now they are NOT living together! From US Weekly:
The source says Crawford -- who will star in the upcoming reboot of Footloose -- moved out on Monday and into a rented penthouse apartment in the luxe Dwell 95 building in NYC's Financial District.Apparently, Westwick is a slob, and Crawford couldn't take the mess any longer, a source tells Us.
TROUBLE IN PARADISE? It's going to be much harder for everyone to constantly assume that Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford are two gay guys being gay lovers together. Everyone will do it still, but it will be slightly harder!
You know you love xoxo BLAH.
Posted by Gabe at 9:30 AM in Behind The Scenes
Tags: Chace Crawford | Chuck Bass | Ed Westwick | Gossip Girl | Jenny Humphrey | Nate Archibald | Taylor Momsen | Vampires
Ahhhhhh I xoxo loved this whole post. I have never seen an episode of Gossip Girl. But also, Taylor Momsen deciding he's a vampire is where you draw the line for going against vampire mythology? After Twilight and True Blood and everything? It's like, "sparkling skin instead of melting in the sun, believable, no protruding teeth, ok I buy that, but just deciding you're a vampire?? NO, SIR."
Score = 5
"Taylor Momsen deciding he's a vampire is where you draw the line"
Score = 9
Sorry, Carrie. Somehow the ZING, that I had noted after that quote, got cut off my comment. You deserve an award for a very well played unintentional zing.
Wait! It was unintentional, right or did Taylor Momsen tell some reporter that she just decided late one night to be a man too? Because that's where I'll draw my line with her "just deciding things."
Score = 5
"I have never seen an episode of Gossip Girl."
Score = 6
Which is why I genuinely LAUGHED at the aforementioned sentence. Whether you've seen the show or not, intentional or not; either way that sentence just works! :-)
Score = 4
Taylor Momsen is why 15-year-olds shouldn't give interviews. I may or may not have been thinking the same thing when I was a teenager, but I'm sure as hell glad there was no one around to quote me on it.
Score = 52
When I was 15 Seymour Hersh managed to get me to admit to being involved in the My Lai massacre.
Score = 31
When I was thirteen, I developed a working journalistic relationship with Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein that ultimately destroyed the Nixon administration. But I still couldn't get girls to like me.
Score = 29
Crawford -- who will star in the upcoming reboot of Footloose - That'd be reason enough for me to demand he leave.
Score = 16
Even Ashton Kutcher is telling Taylor Momsen she's trying too hard.
Score = 17
I really can't think of anything more fascinating that an underschooled 15 year old's stream of consciousness. Positively Faulkneresque in its consideration of self and boys, I'm sure.
Score = 32
It is all SOUND AND FURY
Signifying NOTHING.
NO REALLY TAYLOR, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. GET OUT. LEAVE.
Score = 10
As I Lay Sighing
Score = 14
Yes yes yes yes yes
Score = 2
I'd be CAREFUL, you may be giving HER TOO MANY IDEAZ.
Score = 1
Ryan Gossling is so jealous of Taylor Momsen's stream of conciousness lyric book!
Score = 13
The 's' in consciousness was removed because, "I never edit everything," only some things, but not this thing...I'm a vampire.
Shit, now no one will put my comment on their fridge-ever :-(
Score = 9
Taylor obviously decided she was a vampire long ago:
(Presumably before she killed and dyed an unsuspecting ostrich for its feathers, then shoplifted those fabulous gladiator sandals.)(I know she's rich enough to buy them, but evil vampires gotta represent, yo.)
Score = 10
When I was 15, I was falling into manholes and just deciding that I was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2009/07/girl-falls-into-manhole-while-texting-parents-sue/
Score = 13
"I never edit everything."
Grammar just tripped over it's own feet and now it has to get up and it's all embarassed. As a personification of a linguistic concept it's taken a beating since the internet was invented, but never has it wanted anyone to cut out the shit as much as Taylor Momsen. She's a fucking punisher.
Score = 0
"I don't really Google myself," she said. "I try not to. I read somewhere there was this whole blog about how I shoot heroin. I was like, 'Guys, I don't shoot heroin.' Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's really obscene. I like Kurt Cobain, but I'm not trying to emulate everything about him."
I think this part of the interview is even better. Because when I look at Taylor Momsen, I see so many shades of Kurt Cobain.
Score = 6
so many shades of Courtney Love.
Score = 8
"I like Kurt Cobain, but I'm not trying to emulate everything about him."
For instance, she doesn't own a shotgun.
Score = 3
When I was thirteen my Grandfather got me a record contract with Sony BMG and my own reality show following my charm school exploits and my budding pop "music" career. The working title was "Growing Up Banal".
Score = 4
how have we not talked about the fact that he's moving to the FINANCIAL DISTRICT? from chelsea? sadface.
Score = 0
Ha ha! You said "it will be slightly harder" in the service of a joke about a suspected sexual relationship!
Score = 4