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July 15, 2009

Brittny Gastineau Is Smarter Than She Looks (She Looks Zero Smart)

thumbnail icon: Brittny Gastineau Is Smarter Than She Looks (She Looks Zero Smart)

Just kidding. Brittny Gastineau looks just as smart as she is, which, again, to reiterate, is zero. Remember when she was acting (not acting) the fool in Bruno? Well that was all just a goof, you guys. Come on! It's Brittny, bitch! Of course, she was totes in on its. From US Weekly*:

Brittny Gastineau says she was in on the joke when she appeared in Sacha Baron Cohen's No. 1 comedy Bruno.

In the movie, Bruno interviews Gastineau, 26, and shows her a photo of a sonogram which he says is of Jamie Lynn Spears' unborn fetus. He then asks her if the fetus looks deformed and if she thinks Spears should abort or keep it. "Abort it!" Gastineau replies.

"I was joking around," Gastineau now tells Usmagazine.com. "I was spoofing myself."

Haha. She was spoofing herself, duh. I mean, sure, it seems like asking a lot of people to believe that you were interviewed saying horrible things in a movie whose whole premise is to catch people saying horrible things but that somehow you, out of all the people who got tricked in the movie, were smart enough to know that you were being tricked and just decided to say all that terrible stuff on your own steam, as a goof. Brittny Gastineau is obviously operating at a very high level.

Besides, she knew it was Sacha Baron Cohen the whole time!

When she was first asked to be interviewed by the faux Austrian journalist, "I didn't know it was him."

Oh.

She says she was contacted because her E! show Gastineau Girls is broadcast in 54 different countries in Europe. "I was confused; I thought maybe it was still playing over there," she says. "So I was like, 'Ok.'"

"When I got there, I saw him, and I obviously knew it was him," Gastineau tells Us. "I was like, 'Oh, this is funny. This is a joke.' I just went along with it."

Totally! Just have fun! Talk about abortions and retards as a parody of yourself. I mean, when you think of Brittny Gastineau you think two things: 1. Class, and 2. Smarts. So it's going to be pretty WILD for Brittny Gastineau fans** to see her this way. Classic Gastineau yuck-em-up.

She says her friends and family knew she was kidding as well.

I bet they did!

"Everyone knew I wasn't serious when I said, 'Abort a baby!'" she tells Us. "I was just playing along. Anyone who is going to see Bruno knows it's a comedy, and I was totally joking around! I was not serious."

Brittny, WE KNOW! Everyone in that movie was obviously just riffing on people's pre-conceived notions of who they are. All the people at the MMA fight at the end were like "I screamed 'Die you faggots' as a gag. My mom won't stop laughing."

Brittny Gastineau, everybody. Summa Cum Laude of the Ashanti School of Parody***.

*Man, I am sorry, you guys, because I know that two US Weekly related posts in one day is A BILLION TOO MANY, but can I help it if they have all the best (worst) stuff?
**The Lochness Monsters of fans. (Mythological.)
***Eventually this website will become one impenetrable inside joke, completely impossible to understand, even for me.

Posted by Gabe at 3:45 PM in
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15 Comments

TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder

I want to believe she was in on the joke... but I'm sorry, I just can't, it's too unlikely.

Posted by: TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder profile link at 07/15/09 3:54 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
An American Patriot

SHE DID NOT KNOW. But I don't think it's UNLIKELY that other people weren't in on it. Parts OF THE FILM definitely FELT a little too STAGED.

Posted by: An American Patriot profile link at 07/15/09 3:56 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

DUH AFICIONADO: morons saying moronic things (back page story)
Did you figure out if you like or don't like Bruno yet???

Posted by: ModernMANdroid at 07/15/09 3:58 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Who in the hell is Brittny Gastineau?

Posted by: That One profile link at 07/15/09 4:03 PM | Reply
Score = 43 Vote up Vote down

ummmmmmmmmmm.... I just watched that Ashanti clip... and it is BiZZaRRE as F*CK!!! Blood smeared on mirrors and then it ends with "For Parody purposes only!" !!?!?!?!?!?!
Ashanti's school is definitely not accredited; don't take classes there

Posted by: ModernMANdroid at 07/15/09 4:03 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
Mitchapalooza

Seriously you guys who is this?

Posted by: Mitchapalooza profile link at 07/15/09 4:04 PM | Reply
Score = 19 Vote up Vote down
meesh

I was just going to write that I wish I knew who this was so I could make some crack about her needing to keep up her street cred about the not aborting babies thing, because there are gangs who do that kind of stuff and she's in on them or something, but the joke falls flat because I don't even know why I should know this name. Or care. Or have US Weekly do my caring for me.

Posted by: meesh profile link in reply to Mitchapalooza's comment at 07/15/09 4:06 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
kathleen11

"I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday."

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link at 07/15/09 4:14 PM | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down
RobinRubbermaid

I love how A-list celebrities get to be in on Bruno's jokes, but marginal celebrities always come off as total asses. Bruno is so edgy!

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid profile link at 07/15/09 4:15 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
Kelly

The way her name is spelled makes me irrationally angry.

Posted by: Kelly profile link at 07/15/09 4:21 PM | Reply
Score = 24 Vote up Vote down
Ashley

How many 't's are in her first name? I go cross-eyed every time I look at it.

Posted by: Ashley profile link at 07/15/09 4:46 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
whoatom101

Brittny was the talk of the weekend! SO many people were like, "Did you see 'Bruno,' yet? Brittny Gastineau is in it!"

Posted by: whoatom101 profile link at 07/15/09 5:17 PM | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

Impenetrable inside jokes are the best.

Posted by: Andy profile link at 07/15/09 6:00 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
Lakonislate

I bet that's just SBC in drag. Summer of 2011: From the man who brought you Borat and Bruno: Brittny!

Posted by: Lakonislate profile link at 07/15/09 6:02 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
Godsauce

Even if what she is saying is true, she remains zero smart. Also:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtcbVUNO1NY

Posted by: Godsauce profile link at 07/15/09 10:31 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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