This Would Never Happen At Hollywood Video! • A dude stabbed himself in the leg so he wouldn't have to go in to work at Blockbuster. Yikes. My only question is what's Blockbuster?
Posted at 5:15 PM in Bad Idea Jeans
Tags: Blockbuster | Netflix | Yikes
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Colorado again. Jesus, there are some weird fuck-ups in CO.
Colorado is where the dude robbed two convenience stores with a Klingon Bat'leth.
Now this.
I can only assume Richard Heene is responsible for all of it.
Score = 5
It's better to stab yourself than to accept money in exchange for The Ugly Truth.
Score = 12
That's not THAT hardcore. I've stabbed myself to get out of going to the post office.
Score = 3
I worked at Hollywood Video before Netflix was around (I also stormed the beach at Normandy), and we were one of the first stores to experiment with $0.99/5 days pricing on every movie, including new releases. Faster than you can say "I sure as shit ain't paying your fuckin' late fee", we were flooded with every terrible, mouth-breathing, child-slapping, wife-beating, belligerent alcoholic degenerate in a thirty-mile radius. People pissed on games before returning them. I caught a very young-looking girl giving an older dude a handy in the kids section. The capper had to be when some drunk asshole shit his pants and left a trail out the door.
So believe me, there were weekends that I seriously considered "accidentally" burning my hand with the shrink-wrapper, just so I wouldn't have to listen to some anthropomorphic pile of sadness tell me that the reason his DVD of Scary Movie 2 was broken was because it didn't fit right in his video rewinder.
Score = 22
I worked at a Blockbuster for a month and then old them I had to move away because my Uncle died.
I couldn't work at a place where pieces-of-shit customers would sneer in disgust and disappointingly waddle back to go pick out a different movie after I informed them* that Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon was in fact subtitled.
*Mandated by management.
Score = 7
"anthropomorphic pile of sadness" Bravo.
Score = 3
Actual handys? Not enough people around, so they thought they could get away with it? They couldn't just wait to get home? So many questions.
Score = 1
Someone e-mail Law & Order... quick!!
Score = 2
To answer your question, Blockbuster is like Netflix, but you have to stab yourself in the leg.
Score = 9
Legflix.
Again, I will show myself out, thank you.
Score = 5
I worked at Blockbuster in Canada (we'll just say Canada because I still need a reference!) and my coworkers and I would regularly think of ways to A) "Injure" ourselves for workers comp, B) Massacre the people who refused to pay late fees on Paul Blart and/or C) Burn the mother down.
Score = 1
True story: I have a good friend who skipped work to go drinking with me and some buddies with an elaborately concocted lie about a brutal car accident. As the night progressed, he realized he was going to go into work the next day with no injuries, killing the legitimacy of his carefully created lie. So, in true redneck fashion, he decided the obvious solution was to get really drunk and have our friends punch him in the face-- repeatedly.
Believe it or not (I did not think it would actually happen) It actually did. My friends lined up outside on the porch and punched this poor shit in the face. He just sat there and took it. After the last punch, I could see the rage building in his drunken eyes. So many punches, so little retaliation. He jumped up and started blindly swinging until he finally found the porch post.
The next day, he had very little bruising on his face (one black eye). I don't think the boys gave the punches their all. But he missed work again, the next day, to visit the ER with a broken hand.
Score = 0